Well I am sure I will be hated more soon...

You could always prepare something at home to take to the party with you so that you could still hang with everyone and have a good time. My sister is a vegetarian and she ends up doing that alot. As for those that talk behind your back, I've come to realize that sadly there are just people like that in the world and you just need to let it roll off your back. I think of it this way... I have the love and support of my husband, family and friends... no one elses opinion of me matters.
Good luck and have a great holiday!!

not allowed to bring anything outside in...

Frankly, that's pure bull****  If the restaurant is unable to accommodate special meal needs for medical reasons, there is no way they can prevent you from bringing in a discreet meal for yourself, especially as your meal is already paid for by your employer.

But it sounds like you are 100% certain that you do not want to be there and that it would be a miserable experience for you - in that case, you'll do yourself more damage with your coworkers if you are there than if you simply stay in the office.  While I'd say that is usually the worst choice given office politics, in this case it might be your safer choice (damage control, if there's already confrontation going on about the food issue).

K.

I guess I see this in a whole different way.

*I* chose to have surgery. Which means no one else in the world needs to make special accomodations for me. I do.

If I refused to go to social events over the last 6 years due to food restrictions, well I would be  a very lonely person.

My opinion is, you eat something of your own, in your car on the way there, so you can attend. Or, Kindly say that you cannot make it.

The email you sent stating you aren't going because you can't get the exact menu, you will just sit there and work, and you refuse to watch people eat around you......etc, well quite honestly, it sounds like you are not getting your way and are stomping your feet.

If I am misunderstanding your wording, please forgive me, but this is how it looks to me.

Very well stated! I really don't post here much but how could someone complain that their job is paying for them to take off the afternoon and treating them to lunch. My honest opinion be lucky you have a job and stop complaining. 

I hope you shared your concerns in a friendly way, as it sounds like you already work in a hositle environemnt, and this may have just exacerbated it. 

I don't go to events that have a lot of drinking, as I can't be around it due to my recovery issues, never mind the food. 

I hope things at work get better. 

Hugs,
Trish

I have had a few situations where it was very challenging to find anything I could eat in a work environment...I just kept my mouth shut, moved some food around on my plate, and tried to enjoy the socializing. I have also learned to eat in advance of difficult situations. I don't drink alcohol and it has long amazed me how many people imbibe (overly) at work events! But...for many, the drinking makes the party and that's just how it is.

Flip side, though, is that I have been surprised at how many situations I have gone into where I *am* able to find WLS friendly foods - meats, cheeses, veggies, salad (I just pick out the parts I do best with), etc.

The environment sounds very difficult, for sure.

Another way to handle it would simply be to say, "I'm sorry I just can't go this year, so I'll hold the fort here until 5" and leave it at that.