Trying something in a place I consider "safe"

Trying something.  I just came back from an AA meeting.  I was disturbed by what I heard.  Someone I had an affection for relapsed, did something stupid, and is now apparently in jail for at least 3 years.  His wife, who is also in recovery, and who was at the meeting, is moments away from a drink.  She brought her 4 month old son to the meeting.  She is heartbroken that her husband went to jail.  He had gotten a job recently, and they were close to moving out of the shelter they have been living in.  Now she feels hopeless and alone.  Of course I gave her my phone number.  I came back to the office a bit depressed and headed for the vending machine.  Now, I am grateful that I head for Fritos rather than Smirnoff, but still… I am writing now to see if expressing my feelings helps fend off the cravings.  I am not eating hunger.  I am eating sadness and, I guess, disappointment and frustration.

I understand, but you need to stash something in your desk for times like these.  Maybe a low calorie/carb granola bar or a snack size rice cake thing or something that won't derail you.  I have discovered recently how absolutely sinfully good s/f jello is with s/f reddi whip.  Maybe even keep a snack bag of cut up veggies in your office fridge.  There must be quite a few options out there to keep you away from the snack machines.

jello has a new moose pudding that tastes like dark chocolate... it is sugar free.. comes in a six pack... my husband even liked it and he isn't into sugar free stuff

Another  option, to the healthy snacks, is deep breathing exercises.  Try regularly to do a deep breath in through your nose for the count of six, followed by a slow breath out of your mouth, like you are blowing out a candle.  Do that for two solid minutes, while you focus your vision on one object on your desk, and think only about the good air coming into your lungs, deep into your lungs, and the bad, sad air blowing out of your mouth.  Relaxation in, sadness, stress, and bad thoughts out.  In and out for two solid minutes.  Then, have a health snack and a big glass of ice water. 

I sm sorry you had to learn about the friend relapsing and ending up in jail.  It happens in the rooms all the time.  His wife does not have to drink over her situation, and that will not help her at all.  She could end up losing her child to DHS if she relapses and is homeless. 

Hang in there.  I am glad you posted.  If you ever want to make a meeting in Bucks, I will meet you there.  Croydon has one on Friday nights at 6:30 at the Catholic church, and Saturday morning there too.  I have been to both, Fridays' is a women's meeting.  Good women go there.

Hugs,
Trish

I like the other options that the group gave for alternate snack ideas... However,  I hope that the original post helped you more than any food could have.

something else that helps me because of stupid co-workers is go into the bathroom and go into a stall... and shadow box... or do push ups off the wall... and at lunch time take a walk around the building...

I feel honored that you see our board as a safe place.

There is a lot in your post - I can't begin to touch it all, but in a strong moment, you may want to journal about how you respond when you are disappointed in others, or fearful about the situations that others are in....and how it affects you. I read your message and I see you internalizing the stresses in the lives of others....reaching out to help (which is of course admirable), but needing a way to process the very deep feelings that come with getting close to someone else's crisis. And, perhaps, recognizing how those feelings may trigger your own.

You bring up a lot of questions - and as one who grew up in a family fraught with addiction and codependence, and after a lifetime of struggle with ACOA issues,  I just wonder...are you at the point of being strong enough to shoulder this woman's struggle if she calls? Does she have an AA sponsor? If she calls, will you try to be her total solution - or will you be able to channel her to resources that can get her the kinds of help she needs? (I know from painful experience that my own desire to "help" at various times has actually stood in the way of someone getting real help.)

I'd enourage you to "look out for number one" a bit too - if being around the situation is depressing and triggering you to eat, you may still be at a point where you need to protect yourself a bit more. Sending my best wishes and good energies to you as you work it through.