Help

I turned on my PC but still wasn't sure I was going to have the courage to post, but after reading Karen's post I knew I had to do it.

I am never on line at this time of night but tonight I am truly miserable - mentally and physically. I am literally sick to my stomach right now because of eating too much crap tonight on top of drinking wine. We had pizza for dinner -- was going to have pot roast but it wasn't done in time. After dinner I grabbed a glass of wine and tortilla chips and proceeded to munch thru half a bag of those and more wine. Then I fixed my husband and I a real treat - brownie with vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup. All sugar free, but now I'm in misery from eating all that junk on top of the wine. Came in to lay down - sweating profusely - not really dumping but almost wish I was.

I AM BORED - beyond belief. I am bored a work and bored a home. My job is stagnating and the only 'new' aspect of it is a filing thing which I absolutely hate. At home its night after night of the Phillies, the Flyers or football - or if its not that its my husband insisting that I HAVE to watch shows he has recorded for me - honestly right now I could throw every f*cking TV out the window.

We do nothing anymore - we don't go anywhere - we don't do anything - yes, some weekends we visit our friends at the beach but that's not often. Oh, and I've been shopping - a lot - and its affecting my bank account now.

I honestly don't know what to do right now or where to turn - all I know is that I'm miserable and I hate feeling this way. Could be a menopausal thing and tomorrow I could be fine, but right now I just wish I could throw up and curl up. Instead I guess I'll just curl up and hope for sleep to come soon.

Sorry for the rent/vent/whine - just didn't know where else to turn tonight.

Vent away girl... vent vent vent... it is good for the soul!  I told Shilpa and Beth that they should come up and visit one weekend and they could bring their daughters and we could have a crazy Saturday or Sunday at my house... if we do that you are more than welcome to come!! 

I know that I would like to get a couple people together were we could do things like that... just hang and relax... screw the hubbys lol...

But I completely understand about work... I completely hate my job and bored... bored bored bored... ugh numbers are soooo boring... no wonder I have my internet radio station set to dance and techno... gotta keep awake lol...

But, Jeremy and I .... well really don't go anywhere either because the weekends are the only time with get with the girls... we also don't have the money to go out and do things like other couples... because how in the world does one afford a sitter, and then dinner and a movie or dinner and anything else... So we hang at home .... so trust me I completely know how you feel...

Kathy, I'm glad you got the courage to post.  Sometimes all it takes is seeing that you are not the only one going through rough times.   Posting to us helps you to vent your frustrations in a way that will not get you hurt in the end or regretting that you said anything.   We are family and that's what we are here for.   Never be sorry for feeling the need to vent.  It's much better than letting it all inside.

Have you talked to your hubby and told him that you need more time with him doing something other than watching him watch sports?  Someone once told me that if you don't let someone know that something is wrong, how will they know?  Maybe you can arrange to have a date night together once every 2 weeks and plan a weekend getaway?   

I hope things get better and your bank account does not suffer too much.  Shopping is definitely a cross addiction and it is not always a good thing. 

Not sure what to say about the job situation.  Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about that right now with the way the economy is.  Hopefully things will get better there, too.

Know that you are loved and we are here for you any time you need us. 

Kathy,

     Don't know what I can add to the others because I am not married - so no advice on the relationship.  Glad that you posted because I see myself doing a lot of those old behaviors also.  Maybe they are not as bad as before but the behaviors are there.  For me having a therapist has been so helpful on this journey.  As you and the others have always said - they operated on our stomachs, not our heads.  We didn't get to where we were just from physical problems.  Most of us are food addicts and food was our source of comfort, punishment, love etc.  It's a shame that you can't get to the Saturday support group at Barix.  I know that lots of people would love to see you and I would love to meet you.  As Lisa and Shannon told you -  we just need to know that we are not alone in this journey.  Be gentle with yourself.  Hang in there.  Take care.

Donna

Thanks everybody - feeling better today - guess sometimes I just have to let those feelings out, and there are so few people I can do that with. The boredom frightens me more than anything because I tend to eat out of boredom and I don't want to do that - but have noticed that I'm doing it a lot more often. Need to find a hobby for evenings and something to fill my work days that aren't food related.

I'm open to suggestions!

Kathy,
I just wanted to send you a cyberhug my friend. This journey is not easy and we all fall off the wagon the important thing is to dust ourselves and get right back on. You go ahead and vent and ***** away. We will always be here for you. Be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone....

Vent away!!  I can relate to the boredom. There was a point where I was going to work and then home and watched TV all night....the dogs only provide so much company :)  I was busy on the weekends, but my week nights were becoming blah!  I started taking classes through the local school districts adult night school...then I got into karate.  Maybe taking a class would help?

Do you ever ask yourself why you need so much external stimulation? What are we running from that we need to be busy all the time and look to work for some sort of gratification. Why do they call it work and have to pay us to get us to do it.
People need to slow down, throw away the phone and TV and enjoy just being. If not when that stimulation isn't there food will be calling your name and you`ll respond.

I am glad you posted this and vented. Better emotions out then more food in.

"Better emotions out then more food in"

LOVE LOVE LOVE it