How do I work up the courage to take action?

I'm twenty-two and I recently realized my weight is close to three hundred pounds. I've been overweight  since elementary school and despite several attempts to lose weight, I can never keep it off.

I'm nervous. Nervous of being judged, nervous of not getting approved. Despite trying several times with diets, I don't know the dates or how many pounds I lost or anything of the sort. The several articles I have read online all ask me these things!

I'm also somewhat worried about the psych evaluation or whathaveyou. I'm not depressed or anything of the sort but I'm also not sure what to expect!

I know these are a lot of worries for somebody who hasn't even seen a doctor yet, but I would appreciate any advice or help!

Hi zombie!

First of all DON'T WORRY!!  Yes, the questionaire asked what kind of diets you were on before, etc., but do you think everyone remembers every diet?  I am 52 yrs. old, I could not possibly list all the diets I was on!  I just did my best to list what I remembered.  That is all you have to do, they don't call and check on it!

The psych eval was a half hour of discussing what you are expecting after the surgery.  They need to make sure you know what you are getting into. 

I had surgery 8 weeks ago.  I think the most important thing you can do is find the BEST surgeon you can, then go to their free info session and see if you like what they say.  Find out from your insurance company what they will cover, and what type of pre-op program they require.  Most require a 6 month pre-op program, which I highly recommend.  You really need to learn what to expect, even though I knew it was still hard.  This is NOT the easy way out!

Also, read as much as you can online, but stay away from the boards where everyone is talking about their complications.  It will only mess with your head!

Hope that helps, and good luck!

Deb  

Thank you!

I was really worried about the diet history section, as a lot of it I did when I was in my early teens. I swapped around so much and I have no clue what I lost or gained, nor how long I was on each!

The psych evaluation worries me because I'm worried of saying one little thing wrong. If just one little thing that I blurt out without thinking ruins my chances of being healthy, I'll be horrified!

I've been reading the PA forum for like two hours, haha. I steer away from anything with a sad face or that sounds troublesome. I understand that there are always risks with surgery and I have read up on the options and what's possible.

Thank you so much for the advice and kind words, I really appreciate it. :]

Many of us "losers" have experienced EXACTLY what you are currently going through...worries doubts, anxiety etc...the Weight loss program will help you with these feelings and emotions.  Attend a WLS meeting get the facts talk with the staff and patients and make the decsion that is best suited for you!  I can only tell you this.....My friend and I , unknowingly looked into WLS,,,I always only considered banding..but my friend shanged her mind from Band to gastric bypass...both os us are very pleased with our decisions and with the results...If I had to do it all over again I would have still went with lapband (and she with RNY) the only difference I would hve done it much soner....My quality of life has improved two-fold (at least)...I am very happy...Life is good!

Good Luck, Take care and we will hold a space for you on the losers bench :)

I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling so worried! I'm nervous about going to the meetings, too! I just have to "man up" and do it. Health is so much more important than my awkward insecurities!

I'm so glad that you are happy and are finding success in your choice! 

Thank you for your reply. :D

Dear cupcake,

I know EXACTLY what you are feeling right now! It took me five years to finally decide to do the surgery. My wake up call was when I went to my consultation with my surgeon and got on the scale. I was almost 400 lbs!!!! I couldn't believe it! I didn't weigh that much when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was also having other health issues. First, I will say posting on here was a great first step. We are a wealth of information and we have ALL been where you are right now. I would start investigating online some of the bariatric sites to find out information and get yourself educated. I don't know where you live, but if you are in the Philly Area I would suggest Barix Clinic in Langhorne. That is where I had my surgery 16 months ago. I have lost 140 lbs. My doctor was Dr. Pupkova. There are also support groups there, one for pre ops like you so you can ask questions and listen to others. They meet on the second Tuesday of the month. Then there is a post op support group on the third Wednesday of every month. I found going to both very useful both pre and post op. I still attend meetings when I can because support is KEY!! You will meet with so many amazing people!! Everyone is very welcoming and supportive! There is also a meeting there on the first Saturday of every month for both pre and post ops. The Tuesday meetings I believe are 7-9pm, Wednesday meetings 7-8:30 and Saturday meetings are 11-1:30pm.
If you want more info you can pm me....my screen name is bvohl. My avatar is a picture of a clarinet on sheet music. I am a music teacher and musician!!

Hope this helps!

Beth

Let me chime in here....

Surgery is a scary prospect. You can and should read up on all the options and talk to  a doctor about risk factors, as well as their success stories.

Along with that, I think we often experience the fear of failure meeting us head on as we consider surgery. You can find lots of "before and after" stories on OH....but for me, there was an overwhelming question as I started out: "What if this works for everyone but me? What if I fail at this too? What will I do then?"

And thus, the more serious question for me was the risk of NOT having surgery. Every diet had failed. What would I do then?

The process of becoming educated about surgery requires an open mind, confronting those fears, and being very diligent in your learning and questioning.

I think that we all have to "hit bottom" as it were, too, to be truly ready. The insurance approval process can be detailed and laborious, too. For me it was over a year from my initial consult to approval - and during that time, I went from feeling as if I were on a runaway train to being TOTALLY ready and committed to the process.

Let me say too, that if you are anywhere in East/Central PA, I also endorse Barix Clinic. I travelled there from Lancaster County (almost 2 hours) and have been impressed with every aspect of their care and support groups. On balance, I will say that several folks here work with Lancaster General Hospital and Dr. Brader there, who used to be affiliated with Barix.

Everyone has offered good advice to you - take it all in, especially the part about going to a seminar and finding the surgeon that is right for you.

You haven't mentioned LapBand but maybe that would be a better option for you, or at least one worth looking into, since you are so young. LapBand is not as invasive, not as restrictive, but still will help you lose the weight you want to lose and keep it off.

Research both options carefully - I did and I weighed almost 400 lbs when I began my journey - for me RNY was the better option because I am older (I was 50 when I had my surgery) so I had been heavy a lot longer than you.

I wish you all the best - there is a wealth of information out here, on line and at seminars, and they don't cost you a dime to go. As for the psych eval just be honest - with yourself and the evaluator - I was nervous when I went for mine, too, because I had no idea what to expect, but honestly its in your best interest to make sure you are mentally prepared for the changes in your lifestyle that you will be facing post-op. Remember, this isn't a magic pill or spell that will cause you to lose weight without changing your lifestyle - its a tool to HELP you lose the weight and keep it off.

Good luck and let us know how you're doing.

Kathy

If you have a good relationship with your primary doctor, they may help you with the rquired documention.....I know mine did.

Think of things in this way......once you select a surgeon, keep in mind that the act of you walking through the door of their office means REVENUE to them.  They are there to help you get approved and help you on your journey.  Now, don't take my comment to mean that your surgeon will think of you as $$$, but it's in their business to bring on new clinets who they can help.

You don't say where you are from.. there's a strong group from Eastern PA......and I am 1000% certain you'll be welcome at any support group meetings, whereever they are!!!!

Hugs.... and go ahead... take those first few steps.....we've got a spot ont he loser's bench for you!!!!

 

First thing the pysch eval is going to do is make sure that at 22 years old you are ready to make a lifetime comittment to this process.  This isn't something you try and if you fail say oh well, on to the next thing.  This is a final step, if you make a comittment to yourself for life with this surgery, you will succeed.  They want to make sure you know what is involved and that you are not taking this lightly.  There is a lot of discipline required for the rest of your life.  Not saying you will never be able to eat something you really want, but it must be done with the restraint to only do it occasionally (maybe 2-3 times a year).  Go to the evaluation with a smile on your face and explain that you know that this is not an easy way out and that you are required to adhere to strict dietary guidelines.  They will ask you how much you expect to lose and what you think the daily lifestyle will be.  Lapbanders are quotes 60% loss, RNYers are quoted 66%, and DSers are quoted 80%. These numbers are not in stone.  Daily life is journaling and keeping track of your Fats, Calories, Carbs, Proteins and fluids.  You will be restricted from Caffeine, Carbonation, Straws for a while.  Some doctors don't track Calories or Carbs, however, its best if you know where you sit each day should the scale stop moving.  Any more questions, just ask us. 

Nan