just found out I am getting a divorce

A couple of things I am going to say is the second I found out Joe steped out I would have had myself checked for STDs and I am not trying to be insenitive I am a firm believer of fidelity and trust because without that you have nothing.  He wants is all I am hearing here.  He doesn't want a divorce?  Well what the hell was he thinking?  He sounds like its all about him here.  What about Tracy the person he made promises to in front of family and friends? He wants time apart so he can think?  What does he expect for him to be able to play around which he already has.  He didn't have an affair with this other woman he had a shallow relationship and not only does fidelity come into place the word loyalty comes here also.  Where was that to you and your children?  At least Joe is coming to take the kids out for awhile? Well, hell they are his kids too.   Tracy I am going to get flamed for this but I for one do not believe in going for marital counseling because and this is just my opinion I am entitle to it...I would want whatever needs to be corrected in my marriage because we talked about it not because a third party had to tell one of us what to do.  I know that sounds confusing but think about that.  You both made promises together and to be honest I wouldn't want to be sleeping next to someone who did that to me and my children.  As far as "droopy" parts I can see why you feel like that but a real person loves the person not the body because someday they will get old too or something else which is why the expression thru thick and thin comes to play.  You deserve better. And take this time to get to know Tracy and be kind to Tracy. I have been thru a divorce and its tough but better than staying there for the wrong reasons.  I always say when someone cheats on their spouse they cheat on their children and they deserve better.

Tracy,
Sorry to hear this. Sending positive thoughts and prayers for you to be strong during this time. 
Ida

Time apart isn't necessarily the answer. If you are both game counseling is, either separately or preferably together.
WLS is a major life change but not only for the patient but for the spouse and even sometimes the kids.

He doesn't believe in couciling and I am a MAJOR fan of it. I think I just have to ride out the emotional roller-coaster and know that in the end I am better off. I haven't been happy and neither has he. I have a lot more patience now....strange. I am a strong person...when I need to be and I know I can do this. This too shall pass...

Thank you!!!

Been there. I have done this. 5 years ago I was in your shoes.

I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I did. And you will too!

Tracey, just know there is a great life on the other side of this challenge.  My husband left me with 3 kids 5, 8, and 10 after 17 years after getting involved with a co-worker.  I too was devastated.  I spent the first year trying to prove I was still man-worthy but never really clicked with anyone.  Then I really just decided to spend my time on me and my kids.  I spent 5 years not dating but not missing it.  I actually enjoyed myself more and it helped my own self-esteem since the X was good at putting me down.  Once I decided to date again, I found Joe, my current husband.  He knew me heavy and loved me, knew me after WLS, and loved me, knows me after PS and loves me. 

My point is that life changes and though you may feel overwhelmed and so sad right now it will get better.

Tracy,
I just wanted to send hugs your way. I am so sorry the death of a marriage can be very traumatic after WLS make sure you work on you first to get to take care of your kids. Again just wanted to send you hugs. Take care...