Rambling...So....is the same behavior changed ok?
Ok....here's the deal. I cannot get a grip on the whole numbers thing. And it's not just the numbers. Today was NOT a good day. Long story short(ish)...despite eating mainly according to plan, and being absolutely dedicted to my gym routine, my weight is climbing. RAPIDLY.
There's a bunch to do with it that I DO get. A...as usual when I get all freaked out..it's that TOM for me. Fine....water weight will come off. Secondly, based on said cycle...it's obvious my thyroid meds are starting to work a bit better, and therefore I KNOW I am having a hormonal release. It happens every time my levels change. And thirdly...I'm retaining water on top of that TOM due to the weather. Always have, always will in the heat and humidiity. This weekend..terrible choices. To much salt, to much alcohol, to many carbs, MUCH to little water. HOWEVER....
I've literally gained 12 pounds in 1 1 /2 weeks. Literally, my clothes do not fit. I bought a size bigger jeans today, just for this time of the month. WTF. TOTALLY screwed with my head.
So...of course...you know the old habits never die. The FIRST thing I wanted to do was eat. I wanted to eat crap. I damn near went to McDonalds. But instead....
I went to Wegmans. I bought a ton of good food, and have cooked it all. I made stuffed baby eggplant with ground chicken, a small amount of quinoa, and veggies. I made grilled eggplant rolatini with low fat ricotta cheese, roasted tomato (home made) sauce, and fresh mozarella. I also made a roasted veggie, grilled chicken, quinoa salad (more veggies and chicken then quinoa), and buffalo chicken burgers. I have enough food for the week, easy, and stuff to freeze as well. Because I was out and about shopping, I picked up a veggie "sushi" roll (all veggies, no raw fish, blech) for lunch and had some string cheese when I got home for protein.
So....I got to thinking. The first thing I wanted to do was eat, or cook ridiculous food that was no good for me. Granted...I changed that by making things I COULD have. I did NOT over eat...in fact, I didn't even graze while making it except for a piece of fresh mozarella and a spoonful of the roasted veggie/chicken/quinoa salad to test for seasoning. I made sure I was set for the week. I was initially pretty proud of that.
But now I'm thinking...is that ok? I mean..I suppose I have to eat anyway (I had very little in the fridge I could eat, btw, so it's not like I had other choices and chose to turn to food regardless) so having good things on hand is preferable...but it's the same response to feelings, is it not?
Or am I just way to hormonal and trying to overthink things????
Oh - the other thing I did....Brian and I were supposed to go to the movies tonight. I asked if we could post pone that until tomorrow...because I know I can't trust myself in a movie theater tonight in my mental state...I would so totally over indulge in popcorn and/or nachos it wouldn't be funny. That crap isn't in my house, so I can't eat it. And we can watch a movie here and I can have my planned evening snack. That...I'm VERY pleased with.....
Sigh....watch out Barix...I plan on being there on Wednesday and if I can get the jumbled thoughts in my head in some assemblance of order....I'll most likely open up for some sort of support and/or kick in the ass. I'm not even sure which I need right now.
I recently had someone tell me (WLS person) that "you appear to have all your **** together all the time" Well...I'm hear to say....HA to that!!! But I am willing to admit when I don't!!!
Sorry for the rambling! (I know...don't appologize, lol)
~P
There's a bunch to do with it that I DO get. A...as usual when I get all freaked out..it's that TOM for me. Fine....water weight will come off. Secondly, based on said cycle...it's obvious my thyroid meds are starting to work a bit better, and therefore I KNOW I am having a hormonal release. It happens every time my levels change. And thirdly...I'm retaining water on top of that TOM due to the weather. Always have, always will in the heat and humidiity. This weekend..terrible choices. To much salt, to much alcohol, to many carbs, MUCH to little water. HOWEVER....
I've literally gained 12 pounds in 1 1 /2 weeks. Literally, my clothes do not fit. I bought a size bigger jeans today, just for this time of the month. WTF. TOTALLY screwed with my head.
So...of course...you know the old habits never die. The FIRST thing I wanted to do was eat. I wanted to eat crap. I damn near went to McDonalds. But instead....
I went to Wegmans. I bought a ton of good food, and have cooked it all. I made stuffed baby eggplant with ground chicken, a small amount of quinoa, and veggies. I made grilled eggplant rolatini with low fat ricotta cheese, roasted tomato (home made) sauce, and fresh mozarella. I also made a roasted veggie, grilled chicken, quinoa salad (more veggies and chicken then quinoa), and buffalo chicken burgers. I have enough food for the week, easy, and stuff to freeze as well. Because I was out and about shopping, I picked up a veggie "sushi" roll (all veggies, no raw fish, blech) for lunch and had some string cheese when I got home for protein.
So....I got to thinking. The first thing I wanted to do was eat, or cook ridiculous food that was no good for me. Granted...I changed that by making things I COULD have. I did NOT over eat...in fact, I didn't even graze while making it except for a piece of fresh mozarella and a spoonful of the roasted veggie/chicken/quinoa salad to test for seasoning. I made sure I was set for the week. I was initially pretty proud of that.
But now I'm thinking...is that ok? I mean..I suppose I have to eat anyway (I had very little in the fridge I could eat, btw, so it's not like I had other choices and chose to turn to food regardless) so having good things on hand is preferable...but it's the same response to feelings, is it not?
Or am I just way to hormonal and trying to overthink things????
Oh - the other thing I did....Brian and I were supposed to go to the movies tonight. I asked if we could post pone that until tomorrow...because I know I can't trust myself in a movie theater tonight in my mental state...I would so totally over indulge in popcorn and/or nachos it wouldn't be funny. That crap isn't in my house, so I can't eat it. And we can watch a movie here and I can have my planned evening snack. That...I'm VERY pleased with.....
Sigh....watch out Barix...I plan on being there on Wednesday and if I can get the jumbled thoughts in my head in some assemblance of order....I'll most likely open up for some sort of support and/or kick in the ass. I'm not even sure which I need right now.
I recently had someone tell me (WLS person) that "you appear to have all your **** together all the time" Well...I'm hear to say....HA to that!!! But I am willing to admit when I don't!!!
Sorry for the rambling! (I know...don't appologize, lol)
~P
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
Well it seems like it is out to get us all this week... I am of absolutely no help because (surprise surprise) I am the exact same way. It's even worse now that I am home.
Have you had your labs redrawn to check your thyroid levels? I get pretty batty when mine go off kilter, maybe you aren't quite to your ideal level just yet.
I am here whatever you need! *hugs*, love, a soulder, a kick in the ass - whatever!!
Liz
Have you had your labs redrawn to check your thyroid levels? I get pretty batty when mine go off kilter, maybe you aren't quite to your ideal level just yet.
I am here whatever you need! *hugs*, love, a soulder, a kick in the ass - whatever!!
Liz
I, personally, think you deserve a round of applause. You not only resisted the urge to eat, you made good choices and gave yourself a great alternative for when you do eat.
You must eat, food is fuet; by planning ahead for your meals and giving yourself this head start, you have come out a real Loser!! (And I mean that in the nicest possible way!!)
Congratulations!
You must eat, food is fuet; by planning ahead for your meals and giving yourself this head start, you have come out a real Loser!! (And I mean that in the nicest possible way!!)
Congratulations!
Pam,
OMG you must be reading my mind. I went to my primary doctor for a physical last friday since my iron has been kicking my ass and he tells me that I have gained 17lbs since 2008!! then proceeds to write that on my chart. I almost started crying. OK Ahole I was a lot less when I was pregnant last year but you did not check those numbers from last September why check 2008? So I know it's more than 17lbs gain. I am a buck 50 OMG 150lbs AND like you everybody tells me I have my **** togather. More than ever I feel like we share a kinship. I look forward to seeing you at the next post-op meeting and do not get hung up on number I only weigh myself once a week now. I have to or I will go INSANE and hubby will hide the scale again:(
OMG you must be reading my mind. I went to my primary doctor for a physical last friday since my iron has been kicking my ass and he tells me that I have gained 17lbs since 2008!! then proceeds to write that on my chart. I almost started crying. OK Ahole I was a lot less when I was pregnant last year but you did not check those numbers from last September why check 2008? So I know it's more than 17lbs gain. I am a buck 50 OMG 150lbs AND like you everybody tells me I have my **** togather. More than ever I feel like we share a kinship. I look forward to seeing you at the next post-op meeting and do not get hung up on number I only weigh myself once a week now. I have to or I will go INSANE and hubby will hide the scale again:(
-Shilpa
People comment on my over 100 pound weight loss and attribute it to my WILLpower, but it is my WANTpower: I WANT to be thin and healthy more than anything else!
Oh Pam,
The struggles just won't leave us. Those demons, committees. gremlins, etc. just lay in wait for us to grow weak and frustrated knowing that the doubts and concerns will creep, creep and creep some more till we fantasize about a ...( insert addictive substance here ). This is our life. This our struggle. This is our challenge and we will, we must meet it and slam it with every resistance we have. And we will, but know this will be a challenge that will always be laying in wait for us to submit. Don't submit. Don't be defeated. Don't give in.
Supporting and Sharing is one of the keys for us. You sure know how to do that. Let it work and you will be where you want to be, but the real work is in staying there, or somewhere close. That is the challenge for all of us who are well past the honeymoon period. Myself included. If you're 3 years out or more the work to maintain will be an effort of mind and body to win most of the battles. If you stay ahead feel good about that. If you feel like you're falling behind I implore you to still feel good about yourself and work within yourself to feel even better. We're all in this together and we will all travel this road. We can't escape it. So let's meet it and take on those demons with a smile.
I'll see ya Wednesday night. It's been toooooo long.
Love ya,
Dennis
The struggles just won't leave us. Those demons, committees. gremlins, etc. just lay in wait for us to grow weak and frustrated knowing that the doubts and concerns will creep, creep and creep some more till we fantasize about a ...( insert addictive substance here ). This is our life. This our struggle. This is our challenge and we will, we must meet it and slam it with every resistance we have. And we will, but know this will be a challenge that will always be laying in wait for us to submit. Don't submit. Don't be defeated. Don't give in.
Supporting and Sharing is one of the keys for us. You sure know how to do that. Let it work and you will be where you want to be, but the real work is in staying there, or somewhere close. That is the challenge for all of us who are well past the honeymoon period. Myself included. If you're 3 years out or more the work to maintain will be an effort of mind and body to win most of the battles. If you stay ahead feel good about that. If you feel like you're falling behind I implore you to still feel good about yourself and work within yourself to feel even better. We're all in this together and we will all travel this road. We can't escape it. So let's meet it and take on those demons with a smile.
I'll see ya Wednesday night. It's been toooooo long.
Love ya,
Dennis
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