Back from Fl and update on my prior To tell or Not to tell post

Good afternoon everyone.  I got in from FL early this morning (12:30 am) after an almost 2 hour delay on the flight home.  Everyone who was gracious enough to share their thoughts on my prior post wanted an update so I wanted to be sure to give it.

First off, I had a blast with family and friends, that was most important (to me anyway).  As for the rest, I did not tell because no one asked.  Everyone said that I looked great and that they were happy I was taking control of my health and my life.  Nothing further.  My concern over noticing my eating habits, etc. was unfounded.  I explained when I got their that my eating habits had changed, that I was working with a nutritionist and to just be prepared that I don't eat much, but I eat a few times per day and that I was closely monitoring my intake to optimize nutritional intake, etc.  They were fine and the people I did not tell never noticed how much I ate or did not eat.  Rather amusing since everyone who knows about my surgery has become the self appointed food police.  :-)
 

Anyway, wanted to fill everyone in and let you know my decision since so many asked me to loop back.  Have a great day!

Glad to hear it all went well and worked out for you - I've noticed that the farther out in my journey I go the less people notice how much I eat or police me - my husband and mother were the worst and now that my mother isn't with us any longer my husband has backed off as well - once in a while he'll ask if I should have something but for the most part now he knows I can police myself.

I think it's becoming comfortable with who we are - and once we're comfortable with that and how we eat everybody else relaxes. It was good you said something up front - that way  you didn't have to defend your eating habits every time you sat down.

Glad you had a great time and everyone was good with the NEW you!  As always, thanks for going through all of this first - it's helping me a ton : )

Great to hear that all went well!

And fascinated to hear that the question of surgery didn't even come up. But of course, once people see what and how you are actually eating...they realize that they don't want to do that. So they go get chips while you quietly count protein grams.

And once that initial ice is broken...my new mantra comes into play: "Nobody really cares what you eat."

Glad you had an awesome time, that's what was most important.   Curious though, for others that are newer and might be wondering, how did YOU feel about them not noticing you?  Were you ok with it or slightly disappointed there was no fuss after all the hard work you've been putting in??  I always find these situations like little social experiments and we are are own guinea pigs.  It teaches us alot about ourselves and what role food played in our lives (you obviously were giving it more importance than they did ) and our self esteem and how that changes as we progress further out from surgery.    I think you found out interesting stuff already.   And, those you told now put in their .02 further out and those you didn't, didn't notice.  Hey, who in this world doesn't diet these days?  So saying you are dieting is no big deal but still saying you had RNY gets some people with the "we'll wait and see" attitude which just puts pressure on us to perform which is good for those of us that are more competitive and have growing self esteem and hard for those of us that are more addictive personalities that want to please others before ourselves.   Now you know November will be smooth sailing....    Thanks for sharing yourself!!

Jackie, that is an interesting question.  I actually preferred no one noticing.  I get uncomfortable at the compliments and the prying questions-- I am pretty private but will share with friends and honestly curious well intentioned people.  My friends simply said "you look great, it is so good to see you" and we chatted.  They didn't gush and ask a million questions, etc.  It reaffirmed, to me anyway, that they are my true friends who love me whether thick or thin and through thick or thin. I usually field general questions/comments like "you have lost some weight" that I receive from random people or aquaintances with a simple response along the lines of "I am trying."  Usually that is fine for me and the person.    I have found in this journey that the ones that continue and begin "gushing" compliments don't always have the purest motives-- not all of them have impure ones, but a lot.  It is hard to explain the difference between ones asking questions that I field happily and patiently and those that get my defenses up-- it is a gut feeling brought on by their attitude and mannerisms, etc. I think everyone understands the difference, though I can't articulate it. 

My biggest pet peeve are the aquaintance or two (or twenty) that do the "Oh my God is that you?  I didn't recognize you . . .  yada, yada"  That I hate most of all-- I still look like me-- my face has thinned along with the rest of my body, but I am still clearly recognizable as me. I take this to mean that either you never looked at my face or you looked at me as a person and saw nothing but the fat woman next to the coffee pot.

OMG Dawn, you have me chuckling.   You so nailed it with your last sentence.   Usually when folks look at the fat (or the boobs) and not square in the eye when talking to you...you don't really want to talk to them anyway.   Keep that head on straight and the sucessing with just happen! 

Sounds MUCH like how my extended family (who doesn't know) views what I eat and how I eat.  Congrats - and AWESOME job!  We tend to believe things will be a bigger deal than they are...and then go "why was I soooo worried over it?" 

And, BTW, I'm soooo glad you posted this - because I for one am a "busy body" lol and wanted to know :)

CONGRATS!!!

 I was wondering!!!  Thanks for posting!!  Glad everything went so well!!!