Shoutout to Beth and others on Body Image
A couple things....Beth's post yesterday really upset me. I totally "get" why she was hurt by her Aunt's comment. I really felt for her and it was on my mind most of the day that WHY do we have to hear these things? Do we have BE MEAN TO ME? written on our foreheads? Are we projecting something? Well, don't you know I go to the nursing home last night on my usual Monday night visit to hang out with Mom (87) and I've got my protein in SF KoolAid w/me for my dinner and she asks what it is and I tell her.....and.....here it comes......she says, "is that really gonna do anything for you??" I said, "I'm trying Mom, trying to do what worked originally"....and....here it comes again...."but it didn't work; you got a gastric bypass and you're getting fat again; it obviously didn't work"...."I don't know what's the matter with you...(implied, "Failure!") "CAN YOU SAY, "I feel like SH*T???!!!".
Sorry this is getting long....So this morning I get to work (with my protein and yogurt for lunch) and see this and decide that Beth and I and anybody else out there listening to crap from others needs to appreciate the things YOUR BODY CAN DO NOW. I highly doubt Beth looked better in a summer dress or danced the day away or wore a smile all day long at her previous weight. I know I didn't. So, for anybody else worrying about your muffin tops....hey, you can Eat the Muffins and sit on your ass or Wear the Muffintop and dance the day away ....whichever you choose, do it proudly!!!!! Beth, you're a beautiful person, never let an old fart tell you different.
I'm sure God left this on Yahoo for us today....
"The key to feeling happy, confident and proud of your body—flaws and all? According to Stacey Rosenfeld, PhD, a New York-based psychologist who specializes in issues of anxiety, depression, eating disorders and body image, the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn how to marvel at your body’s many abilities. “Focus on what your body can do, rather than on how it looks," she says. “Too often, we pay attention to how our bodies appear, rather than what they allow us to do. Can your body dance or swim? Can you build sand castles at the beach with your kids? Does your body allow you to enjoy a hot bath or intimacy with a partner? Does your body transport you down the block or up a mountain?" Try this exercise: “Identify what you like about your body," she says. “See if you can find 10 things you like about how you look, like the sparkle in your eyes, the strength of your calves or your hair.""
Sorry this is getting long....So this morning I get to work (with my protein and yogurt for lunch) and see this and decide that Beth and I and anybody else out there listening to crap from others needs to appreciate the things YOUR BODY CAN DO NOW. I highly doubt Beth looked better in a summer dress or danced the day away or wore a smile all day long at her previous weight. I know I didn't. So, for anybody else worrying about your muffin tops....hey, you can Eat the Muffins and sit on your ass or Wear the Muffintop and dance the day away ....whichever you choose, do it proudly!!!!! Beth, you're a beautiful person, never let an old fart tell you different.
I'm sure God left this on Yahoo for us today....
"The key to feeling happy, confident and proud of your body—flaws and all? According to Stacey Rosenfeld, PhD, a New York-based psychologist who specializes in issues of anxiety, depression, eating disorders and body image, the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn how to marvel at your body’s many abilities. “Focus on what your body can do, rather than on how it looks," she says. “Too often, we pay attention to how our bodies appear, rather than what they allow us to do. Can your body dance or swim? Can you build sand castles at the beach with your kids? Does your body allow you to enjoy a hot bath or intimacy with a partner? Does your body transport you down the block or up a mountain?" Try this exercise: “Identify what you like about your body," she says. “See if you can find 10 things you like about how you look, like the sparkle in your eyes, the strength of your calves or your hair.""
Jackie J. 
1 choice @ a time > 1 day @ a time. Slow to Succeed is still Success ;-)
Jackie,
Thank you for sharing that piece from Yahoo... and for sharing your story. Moms/families know exactly how to push our buttons, largely because they are the ones that put them there. GOOD for you to be able to step back from your mom's hurtful comments and to refocus on your positive, successing life. GOOD for you to make positive choices and to get yourself back to where you want to be. There are toxic things in many of our old lives that we have to learn to leave behind, and part of that is the way our pasts "get" to us... it's an ongoing struggle between me and my mom (age 89, lives WITH me to make it tougher) - she has rewritten the script from the past and no longer recalls life the way it really was. That ****** me off in many ways, but there's a part of me that wishes I could rewrite my own history so that I wouldn't be so "wounded" by it. However, that is dishonest and I am stronger for embracing it and working through it.
Karen
Thank you for sharing that piece from Yahoo... and for sharing your story. Moms/families know exactly how to push our buttons, largely because they are the ones that put them there. GOOD for you to be able to step back from your mom's hurtful comments and to refocus on your positive, successing life. GOOD for you to make positive choices and to get yourself back to where you want to be. There are toxic things in many of our old lives that we have to learn to leave behind, and part of that is the way our pasts "get" to us... it's an ongoing struggle between me and my mom (age 89, lives WITH me to make it tougher) - she has rewritten the script from the past and no longer recalls life the way it really was. That ****** me off in many ways, but there's a part of me that wishes I could rewrite my own history so that I wouldn't be so "wounded" by it. However, that is dishonest and I am stronger for embracing it and working through it.
Karen
Jackie,
I am sorry if my post upset you or stired up emotions.
Seems like your Mom knows teh words to set you off but deep down people can only hurt us with words if we allow them to hurt us with them. I let my Aunt get in my head the other night instead of snapping back at her which her little darling of a niece has done in the past.
When she first made the comment I let it roll of my back but as the night went on I kept hearing it over in my head and then caused myself self doubt. I am proud of all the worl I have done in this journey and she is proud of me as well. She tells me often how proud my Mom would be of me at this point in terms of the weight loss.
She is a woman that speaks her mind and at times is not the most gracious with words but I don't think it was her intention to hurt my feelings. When it comes to my Muffin top I am so self aware and it worse to me then others see it that I am sure of in that sense of the mind trip.
Dennis and I talked in length about it the other night he even offered to talk to her one on one about my sensative nature to my muffin top. we agreed she may not even totally understand the head game that goes with this surgery.
I knew this would be the place to get understanding and rise me back up to myself. Thank you for your kind words and I will rock my muffin top!
Love you
I am sorry if my post upset you or stired up emotions.
Seems like your Mom knows teh words to set you off but deep down people can only hurt us with words if we allow them to hurt us with them. I let my Aunt get in my head the other night instead of snapping back at her which her little darling of a niece has done in the past.
When she first made the comment I let it roll of my back but as the night went on I kept hearing it over in my head and then caused myself self doubt. I am proud of all the worl I have done in this journey and she is proud of me as well. She tells me often how proud my Mom would be of me at this point in terms of the weight loss.
She is a woman that speaks her mind and at times is not the most gracious with words but I don't think it was her intention to hurt my feelings. When it comes to my Muffin top I am so self aware and it worse to me then others see it that I am sure of in that sense of the mind trip.
Dennis and I talked in length about it the other night he even offered to talk to her one on one about my sensative nature to my muffin top. we agreed she may not even totally understand the head game that goes with this surgery.
I knew this would be the place to get understanding and rise me back up to myself. Thank you for your kind words and I will rock my muffin top!
Love you
Beth, no need to be sorry. You made me FEEL. It upset me that you were upset, and then of course to have my Mom go off on me THAT DAY when I'm busting my ass to comply, just pissed me off for ALL of us. I've had a whole lot less time practicing good self-esteem than I had living with bad self-esteem. It's still a learning process and I'm not into nanna-beating so... Girlfriend, we just have to put on our big girl panties and our sundresses and dance the day away in our strappy sandals! THIS IS THE PLACE TO COME FOR UNDERSTANDING! Hugs!
Jackie J.
1 choice @ a time > 1 day @ a time. Slow to Succeed is still Success ;-)
thank you so much for the post jackie. She is right we need to focus on what we can do. AT 360 lbs i would have been so thankful for a muffin top, for some saggy skin as long as I could wear a normal size and do normal things. How small my wishes were. How greedy I have gotten now.
How ungrateful can I be???
I will put this into practice....there are many things i like. Many things I like about you too
How ungrateful can I be???
I will put this into practice....there are many things i like. Many things I like about you too
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