She Means Well....

Beth, 

I totally understand how you feel!!!  My mom has been doing that s*** to me forever!  I know she loves me and means well, but it doesn't always come across that way.  Don't let her ruin the fun evening you had!!!  You've done a fabulous job and look awesome!!!!  The only opinions that count, you got before you went out---Dennis and your's!!! 

Julia,


  My Aunt has always been my second Mom since I have been well born so I know she loves me and if she knew she had hurt me or upset me she would feel very bad.

Beth, she may be your aunt and respected elder, but none of us are too old to learn. You could choose to share with her how hurtful her personal comments were, how you were struggling to balance dressing for the occasion and the weather. The goal of not getting heat stroke, and being able to dance. You have worked very hard on your weight loss and to improve your health. Her thoughtless comments seemed to have ruined what had been a fun and happy day for you. I wish you many more,but suggest you consider sharing with your aunt that you prefer she keep such personal negative thoughts to herself in the future unless her opinon is asked for by you.  We are all entitled to respect and to set boundries as to acceptable/unacceptable behavior. You are a strong, caring person, and I wish you many happy times to dance with joy!
Chris

Thank you Chris..

It didn't ruin the whole night it just got stuck in myhead but Dennis and I talked long about last night which helped me put things back in the right focus! 

HI Beth

Trying to catch up on some stuff and just saw this.  I saw some of the photos on Facebook and was thinking how particularly lovely you looked at Maggies.  I'll never understand why people say some of the stuff that they do, especially things that we are particularly sensitive about.  Maybe she thought she was being helpful???

It looks like you all had fun and I wish I could have gone.  I'm feeling like I haven't had too much fun lately, just a lot of obligations.  And now, I have to miss Wed. cause of teaching.

Oh well.. Just wanted to tell you that I with many others in this WLS family love you, muffin top and all.

arlene 

Arlene,

  Thanks and we we did miss you but life happens sometimes and we all understood! 

Deep down I know she thougth she was being helpful it was her wording but that is her she has that lack of filter at times but means well.

I love you too ;) 

I truly believe that the members of our mother / aunt generation were born without filters and the ability to discern the impact of their words.  I am with Arlene, I think that the dress looked very nice on you.  Be proud of your beautiful self.

Maura,

  Thank you and you summed it up right on the money. I think it is a generation thing.

I completely understand the mind games we play with ourselves and how much others comments can effect us.  I am my worse enemy and have been struggling with what I am left with almost 4 years out.  I could go on all day with what I am not happy with...i am trying to work through it. I feel like I fit into the "normal" category now, yet I still don't feel "good enough."   I love your aunt and I know she wasn't trying to be hurtful.  I think you looked wonderful!!  You were glowing...and I don't mean the glowing we were all doing from sweating LOL...you looked happy and alive and beautiful!  Try to move past it, otherwise those feelings are going to snowball.  Be proud of everything you have accomplished...we are proud of you :)

Love ya!

HG

Heather,

   Thanks! I think we are all our own worse enemies during this journey but I think with work on ourselves and with each other we will get to where we need to be.

She loves you as well and deep down I know it was not to hurt me.

Love you!