Not doing well at all.....
Hi honey - first of all - he sucks for doing this to you in such a cowardly way.....secondly - he is hurting your children as well......(They are always my main concern in situations like this - I WAS and still AM THAT child) Thirdly - as many others have said - it is time to put you first.........you need to TRY to write down what you need to put into your body......it might be helpful to plan the time of day as well. I tihnk you are already headed in the right direction - we women are VERY strong when need be! You have a huge virtual support system here - and we will do everything we can think of to help you along. Feel free to call me or text me - 267-577-2090.
I am thrilled that you are already with a great therapist and have already been in touch. It seems as though your husband is the one with the issues and you are already doing things that need to be done. I, for one, am proud of you for putting yourself out here for us to help and be there as best we can be. I do know that Swede is from your area as is Jena B. Swede is away right now - but I will be sure to let him know that he needs to reach out to you. I am sure if you contact Jena B. she will also be in touch.
I wish you all the best in the coming days - and send you as much strength as you can handle - and again....I am PRETTY DARNED STRONG!!!!!!
I am thrilled that you are already with a great therapist and have already been in touch. It seems as though your husband is the one with the issues and you are already doing things that need to be done. I, for one, am proud of you for putting yourself out here for us to help and be there as best we can be. I do know that Swede is from your area as is Jena B. Swede is away right now - but I will be sure to let him know that he needs to reach out to you. I am sure if you contact Jena B. she will also be in touch.
I wish you all the best in the coming days - and send you as much strength as you can handle - and again....I am PRETTY DARNED STRONG!!!!!!
The first thing that I am thinking about is my kids. They are upset to because him left. He was there step dad but for ten years they loved him.
Thanks for sharing your number I have it saved in my phone.
Thanks for all the positive thoughts your sending my way.
{{{hugz}}}
Thanks for sharing your number I have it saved in my phone.
Thanks for all the positive thoughts your sending my way.
{{{hugz}}}
Time for change in my life. On my way! 
Tammi 
Tammi 
Another thought....
Could you contact your attorney from your divorce or a legal aid attorney to check into increasing your amount of child support? Since your cir****tances are changing, dad's responsiblity may change as well.
It's not a "done deal" financially. It may also be interesting to know what dad's income is currently - your kids may be entitled to more support if his income has gone up in the years since your divorce.
Could you contact your attorney from your divorce or a legal aid attorney to check into increasing your amount of child support? Since your cir****tances are changing, dad's responsiblity may change as well.
It's not a "done deal" financially. It may also be interesting to know what dad's income is currently - your kids may be entitled to more support if his income has gone up in the years since your divorce.
My ex husbands support was going to be lower that that a few months ago. He agreed to leave it where it is. I don't want them to lower it.
My now husband isn't divorcing me right now so I don't lose his medical insurance and my doctors are covered.
Thanks for the advice about the women attorney. I will look into that.
Bad thing is my husband is a cop he know everyone from the court house. Might need to go out of town.
My now husband isn't divorcing me right now so I don't lose his medical insurance and my doctors are covered.
Thanks for the advice about the women attorney. I will look into that.
Bad thing is my husband is a cop he know everyone from the court house. Might need to go out of town.
Time for change in my life. On my way! Tammi
Tammi 
I am jumping in and telling you that you've heard from many of the wonderful people who populate this board, please know that most everyone on this board, are like an extended family and when one needs help, we offer whatever emotional support we can to one another.
I know what you are going through, my ex, totally blindsided me, when I was 5 months pregnant with our 3rd child, without the support of a few good friends, I don't know what I would have done, that was 33 years ago this month, I had no job, not even a high school diploma, as I had eloped in my senior year of high school, so I was forced to go on welfare, it was degrading to me, but as the saying goes, what does not kill us, makes us stronger. . . Eventually, I went to school and became employed, life goes on and can get better. . .
You've got a lot of serious things to consider, but without you health, you cannot do anything, so PLEASE get in as much of the protein you were told you need per day, in the form that your doctor told you, the very least would be to drink the protein shakes and be sure to drink your fluids and if you are on vitamin supplements you need to be vigilant with that, as well as any other medications you may be on. Then write a list of all the things you need to attend to and try to focus on some part of them each day, if you need to check them off as you get it done, it will help you.
Have a good cry if you need to, but just don't get stuck there. . . I wish you the best of that life has to offer and while right now that might not seem like a lot, in time you will look back and realize that you were better off for what is going on right now. . . as I said, I know first hand what it feels like. We are all rooting for you.
Best wishes, Laureen
I know what you are going through, my ex, totally blindsided me, when I was 5 months pregnant with our 3rd child, without the support of a few good friends, I don't know what I would have done, that was 33 years ago this month, I had no job, not even a high school diploma, as I had eloped in my senior year of high school, so I was forced to go on welfare, it was degrading to me, but as the saying goes, what does not kill us, makes us stronger. . . Eventually, I went to school and became employed, life goes on and can get better. . .
You've got a lot of serious things to consider, but without you health, you cannot do anything, so PLEASE get in as much of the protein you were told you need per day, in the form that your doctor told you, the very least would be to drink the protein shakes and be sure to drink your fluids and if you are on vitamin supplements you need to be vigilant with that, as well as any other medications you may be on. Then write a list of all the things you need to attend to and try to focus on some part of them each day, if you need to check them off as you get it done, it will help you.
Have a good cry if you need to, but just don't get stuck there. . . I wish you the best of that life has to offer and while right now that might not seem like a lot, in time you will look back and realize that you were better off for what is going on right now. . . as I said, I know first hand what it feels like. We are all rooting for you.
Best wishes, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Tami,
I can only repeat what all the others have said, especially Laureen. Take care of your health first, cause you will be of no good to anyone else to do anything else if you don't do this. Also a good idea to make a list of things that you need to do as Laureen said, and don't let it over whelm you, take one at a time and check them off one at a time. You are stronger than you know, and you can do this. Take a deep breath, and do cry if you need to. Support is here for you. Take care and keep us posted.
Hugs Ena
I can only repeat what all the others have said, especially Laureen. Take care of your health first, cause you will be of no good to anyone else to do anything else if you don't do this. Also a good idea to make a list of things that you need to do as Laureen said, and don't let it over whelm you, take one at a time and check them off one at a time. You are stronger than you know, and you can do this. Take a deep breath, and do cry if you need to. Support is here for you. Take care and keep us posted.
Hugs Ena
"Journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."
Hi Tami,
I am so sorry you have to go through this, especially so early post-op. What a kick in the pants. But, I must tell you that I have been exactly where you are, and survived, and thrived. It was in 2001, and I was able to stop drinking and go on to graduate school. It is possible, but it takes time to heal and get to where you stop aching all the time.
It is good that you are in therapy. If you are not seeing a psychiatrist for meds already, ask your therapist to recommend someone for help in adjusting to this stress. There are safe meds that can help you through this. It is like someone died, and it hurts just like that, only the rejection is so hard to deal with.
Babysteps is all you can expect of yourself right now. Protein shakes and water should be your priority when eating. Talk to your doc, to see if he/she can recommend anything food wise for you. Be sure to get your exercise in, as that will help your body deal with the stress. We wear emotional stress in our bodies, and exercise does help.
Cry when you need to. If you belong to a congregation of worship, be sure to connect with them, as they can help immensely. Make sure you have at least one or two good friends you can call when you need a shoulder. A good friend is someone who will not co-sign your bitterness, but allow you to vent. I had to avoid people that told me what a rotten not good S-O-B my ex was, as that just fed my confusion. It was okay for me to say that, but I felt out of control and hopeless if others fueled my fire.
Post here, and if you need my phone number, just hit reply and ask for it. I will send it to you in a private message.
Hugs,
Trish
I am so sorry you have to go through this, especially so early post-op. What a kick in the pants. But, I must tell you that I have been exactly where you are, and survived, and thrived. It was in 2001, and I was able to stop drinking and go on to graduate school. It is possible, but it takes time to heal and get to where you stop aching all the time.
It is good that you are in therapy. If you are not seeing a psychiatrist for meds already, ask your therapist to recommend someone for help in adjusting to this stress. There are safe meds that can help you through this. It is like someone died, and it hurts just like that, only the rejection is so hard to deal with.
Babysteps is all you can expect of yourself right now. Protein shakes and water should be your priority when eating. Talk to your doc, to see if he/she can recommend anything food wise for you. Be sure to get your exercise in, as that will help your body deal with the stress. We wear emotional stress in our bodies, and exercise does help.
Cry when you need to. If you belong to a congregation of worship, be sure to connect with them, as they can help immensely. Make sure you have at least one or two good friends you can call when you need a shoulder. A good friend is someone who will not co-sign your bitterness, but allow you to vent. I had to avoid people that told me what a rotten not good S-O-B my ex was, as that just fed my confusion. It was okay for me to say that, but I felt out of control and hopeless if others fueled my fire.
Post here, and if you need my phone number, just hit reply and ask for it. I will send it to you in a private message.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
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