Women Food and God Ch 1: About God
"The heaviest person in the room"
Beth and Beth, I thought I was the only person who did that. When I started to do that, I think I knew I was truly obese.
And I qui****ching college football, in part, when I realized that I outweighed most of the Michigan defensive line. And a good number of pro basketball players as well, who were over s foot taller than me.
Beth and Beth, I thought I was the only person who did that. When I started to do that, I think I knew I was truly obese.
And I qui****ching college football, in part, when I realized that I outweighed most of the Michigan defensive line. And a good number of pro basketball players as well, who were over s foot taller than me.
My house was a house of excess in a different way, Beth. My mom rarely baked or bought treats, so when we got them, we binged. I learned to binge eat as a very young child.
But the other excesses...there was no discipline with money, and we would have been in big trouble many times if my mom had not worked. My dad was a drinker and, although he died when I was young, I know that he took his paycheck to the bars or party stores when he could get away with it. My brother and sister were quite a bit older than I was, and they openly rebelled against my parents. (Heavens, if MY kids did what they did...!) My mom was a classic controller and codependent. Still is. She remarried-another alcoholic, only an abusive one that time around.
Yes, I was a big baby and a fat little girl, but like you, I am the one who fed the monster. Starting a diet implied ending a diet...and eating compulsively when that day came. The end of every diet was admission of failure.
But the other excesses...there was no discipline with money, and we would have been in big trouble many times if my mom had not worked. My dad was a drinker and, although he died when I was young, I know that he took his paycheck to the bars or party stores when he could get away with it. My brother and sister were quite a bit older than I was, and they openly rebelled against my parents. (Heavens, if MY kids did what they did...!) My mom was a classic controller and codependent. Still is. She remarried-another alcoholic, only an abusive one that time around.
Yes, I was a big baby and a fat little girl, but like you, I am the one who fed the monster. Starting a diet implied ending a diet...and eating compulsively when that day came. The end of every diet was admission of failure.
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