OT: Job dilemma

Here's the short version. Which is still probably too long.

For almost a year, my employer has had horrible technology infrastructure issues. It started when the office relocated and has gone downhill from there. Don't even ask about an IT dept. or tech support - that horse is LONG out of the barn. We have actually had 3 extended time periods when we could not even reliably send or receive e mail.

2 weeks ago we got a new server which was supposed to fix it all. And the problems have continued, worse than ever.

So where this leaves me is
(1) Feeling very unsupported at work for the first time in my career. My boss has not for some reason grabbed the reins on this to get it under control and keep it under control.
(2) Feeling frustrated every day I log on to work and discover what else might be standing in the way of me doing my job. It's like being told to write a novel, and being given a pen with no ink. 
(3) Feeling really angry about it all.

It's gotten to the point where this is a real conflict of values for me. I value hard work and a job well done. I get satisfaction from that. Obviously, I have not had much job satisfaction lately. And this is NOT a problem unique to me - but because I work at home several days a week, it's an isolated environment and there isn't much peer support. We are all feeling behind the 8 ball. And we are not a huge staff.

I don't want to whine about it at work (risking "shoot the messenger" reactions).

Here is what I am thinking today:

Is it time to look for a new job, or lay the groundwork for that in 2011?

Should I just "put up and shut up" and enjoy the flexibility of working at home for a decent (but not outstanding) salary?

Is it time to do something completely different, like return to graduate school?

And finally...

Is this bugging me more because I am now more capable of advocating for my own needs?

or

Is this bugging me more because I might be depressed? I have NEVER been depressed but actually HATE to log on to work every morning and will take ANY opportunity to be distracted.

I'd appreciate any thoughts all of you might have.

Lynn,

     I don't profess to live in your head but you did ask for some feedback.  Make a list of the pros and cons about your job.  See if they are even or which side turns out longer.  I know that I feel my feelings a lot more now because I don't use the food to stuff them down as much.  That can be very frustrating when you are at home and working alone.  Do you have any friends to blow off the steam.  It can be very hard to get up and not want to go to work.  Been there, done that, still fighting it some days. 

     I would think a lot of the frustration could be coming from that feeling of powerlessness.  You don't have control over the situation - what exactly can you control?  Even if you can take one baby step to reclaim some of your power - that might help you.  There's nothing wrong with starting to investigate grad school or start perusing the want ads.  Not sure if this is a good time for that but what have you got to lose.  The important thing for me would be to take a step. 

     For the last 20 years I have lived with depression and the most important thing for me is to see that I have options.  Once I feel like I am in a corner my depression deepens. 

     Hope that some of this helps you.  I know that it has been good for me to see what I have written because I need to take my own advice.  Take care.

Donna

Ok...that's a LOT of stuff to cope with on a daily basis, especially when it involves your "bread and butter" if you will.

Personally, I think a lot of your frustrations are more along the lines of A) lack of control B) Lack of support both from peers and management and C) NOT stuffing those feelings down with food and being able to truly feel those emotions.

Would I start looking for a job?  Yes yes yes.  If things get better over time, you can refuse any potential job offers you may get, and or stop the process of looking.  I say this because I "up and quit" my perdiem job due to many of the same issues, although not IT related but equipment/management related.  I regretted that decision shortly after as I did have trouble finding a new per diem job and wished I had set something up ahead of time.  And, I'm not one to burn bridges and I burnt that one down to the ground.

You could also start looking into grad school - no harm in having the info and being able to start weighing your options.

I totally understand your sheer frustration, and I feel for you.  Hang as tough as you can and always feel free to vent here.  It's a safe place :)

What a frustrating situation to find yourself in...I feel that way some days too. I think the lack of control over the situation is probally overwhelming you as is the fact that you really can't use food to stuff down your frustration and aggravation...now you have to deal with those feelings.

I think if you are not getting satisfaction from your job then of course you should start laying the foundation for something else whether that is a new job or going back to school. It is a big decion to make and it will take time to make the jump into the next chapter in your life however in the interim start looking into schools request info...do som research...tour schools and if need be start looking for a new job. Make the choice to do some sort of action each day or each week that gets you one step closer to your goal ....

As for your current job...take it one day at a time and realize that some things are just out of your control manage it the best you can andd know that you are taking proactive steps to make a move towards something better.

Hope that helps a little bit!!! 
Much luv!
Laura

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts. I really do process issues best when I get them out in words and can consider some different points of view.

You are RIGHT. Control has a lot to do with it.

And as I have started to read "Women Food and God" I see that this whole job situation (for 7 years now) has been an uncomfortable place for me...one that probably contributed to my self medicating with food. It is not a job that pulls a whole lot of my skills into play. I haven't made true friends in this job. Tme commute is a killer, both in terms of time and energy, and if I had to commute in to the city every day I'd lave left long ago.

Another factor - I have never been in the same job for 7 years. When I worked in public schools, there was always change - which was a good thing, and kept the learning curve fresh.

But all that aside, I am exploring options and trying to be a little more balanced and a little more "zen" about the whole situation, just to get through the days. Grad school looks like a possible option, although it is expensive. When Mike and I got married I was in a doctoral program, which I left behind in Michigan because of relocating to PA, and not really "needing" the degree. He would be encouraging if I decided to fini****

Another job is also a possibility - and this whole thing has prompted some talk of how we will move into retirement and what I REALLY want to do when I grow up!

It's about quality of life, too. Maybe the tech issues are just the straw that broke the camel's back.
So I think I'll have a "quality" day today. One day at a time, as they say.

I appreciate your thoughts so much!!!