I am a food Addict

So these are the thoughts running around in my head and I thought I'd share with my friends here who know and understand me.

Everyday I have a battle inside my head.  Those voices that say.. eat this don't eat that.  This is my life.  Since surgery those voices have not been as bad but always always they are there.  Most days the voice of reason and health win (as least since surgery)  but once in awhile the voice of habit and bad choices wins.  And he does not come alone.. when he wins he brings along his friends of guilt and punishment.  They beat me up and try and tear me down.    then I have to rally the troops of Reason and Health and ask them to bring along confidence and strength.  It is always my hope to have reason and health win Everyday but sadly that is not the case.

I think of all of you when I need to rally the strength and confidence.  Thank you all for being there for me when I need you.  Thank you for understanding.

that is all for today... I'm off to fight another day of food addiction.. Today... Reason, Health, Confidence and Strength are winning for now....

I love your post and your honesty - and I think it happens to most of us - let's face it, we wouldn't be on this forum if we weren't food addicts. Sometimes I think 'I'm not a food addict - that's ridiculous' but when the food demons win out with me I realize that yes, I am one as well. Hey, nobody said the surgery would turn us into 'perfect people' when it comes to eating and exercise - it's just helping us to realize we can lose weight, we can exercise, we can be healthier - and yes, we can fight the demons a little better but sometimes they still win.

You're not alone - none of us are - and that's why this forum is so wonderful...we can post our innermost thoughts on here without judgement or criticism. I think I'll copy your post (if you don't mind) and put it with my little journal of posts that I collect from here to read from time to time to remind me where I came from, how far I've gotten, and that the journey is never over.

aawww I'm honored and absolutely you can keep it for whatever you need it for. 
and.. thanks to all the replies. 

I love this group and how you all make me feel.

I think that we all have these internal battles and admitting to it and dealing with it, as well as voicing it make us better prepared to beat them! Also, the more times that Reason and Health win the stronger they become and the more likely that in the future the battles are fought before we realize we have to do it.

Oh and you have my number if they ever don't cooperate - call me and we'll talk through it!

Liz

I've read from others that they think about food all the time.  They feel they shouldn't and that something is wrong.  Even with the surgery, we still think about food a lot as we are usually planning what, when, and where we eat.  It's unfortunate, but I think we're still consumed by food.  Although we still try to eat a healthier diet, we are still thinking about it.  This is just my opinion.

That said, I don't think there's anything "wrong" with your feeling this way.  Stay focused and if you slip up, as we all do, so be it.  Don't beat yourself up.  I just say "oh well, tomorrow is another day."  You'll do fine!

I so completely understand.  Just this morning I was thinking about how my addiction "talks" to me.  While I was able to shut the food demons up for a little while with alcohol, I suffered the transfer addiction and now have two raging addictions competing for time in my brain.  I love the idea of listening to the voices of Reason, Health, Confidence and Strength.  For today, I am going to try to conjure up those voices and let them have their say.  Thanks for helping me fight the good fight today.

Sandra,

     I have followed your journey from the beginning and even though we have never met I can tell that you are a very strong woman.  I do not know how anyone can be a past WLS patient without support.  For me that includes my therapist, the OH board and the Barix groups.  My base line addiction has been and always will be food.  There is no denying that and this will be a part of me until I die.  i can choose to ignore it and suffer the consequences or deal with it one day, hour or minute at a time.  Believe me some days it is one minute at a time.  The most difficult thing for me these past 11 months has been - How do I deal with my emotions without going for the food?  Some days I do a really good job of it and some days it's really a mess.  The important thing for me to remember is that I just have to start over and recommit myself.  That is where my support groups are SO IMPORTANTIf i don't take advantage of them than I will dig myself into a very deep hole.

     Thank you for this very timely post today.  Take care.

Donna

Well you are not alone in that group Sandra...I have been battaling hard these last few weeks. It is a never ending cycle but I am more armed with knowledge to win the war even if I loss the battles.

We have a good team of support here that we all win! 

Thank you for this post today! 

Sandra I too am a food addict. I know the foods that trigger me and that I need to avoid. I think if you look at recovery from any addiction, and apply the techniques used in building a recovery plan, we are better off. I see my food as an addiction everyday, and I have to ask myself, am I on the wagon or off. It will always be a day to day choice and struggle

GREAT post Sandra!  And yes, I agree with everyone who says we all are.....Years ago, my mom (who has battled weight her whole life as well) said to me "When people are addicts to drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes, many say "you can't have any of that any more"  But that is not true for food.  We cannot give up ALL food.  It's almost like asking an addict to choose between good heroin or bad.  Sometimes you just don't care enough to make the right choice" and I still believe that to a certain degree.  We can't just STOP eating.  We are surrounded by terrible influences all the time.

Thankfully, in great part to groups like these, we are also surrounded by FABULOUS choices and help from others.

Hang in there and listen to those voics of reason, health, confidence, and strength!