Passion. 2 1/2 years out. ???

Yep - that was my goal.  And actually - I HAVE been doing that (at least for that, right?) 99% of the time. I make sure I get my make up off, I take care of my funky feet, lol 

And I'm working on the baby thing :)

Thanks my dear, I really appreciate it!

edited... going to put what I emailed Pam on the board because something may be useful to someone.. don't mind the language.. you know me..
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OY.. when it rains it pours.. I don't have a whole lot of advice, but then again maybe as my thoughts start spilling out, it may turn into something useful.  So, I'll try.

I am going to have to agree with what Nicole said .. everything is on you right now.  You are the bread winner, you are the one everyone turns to, you are the "rock".. or you're supposed to be, in everyone else's eyes.  Been there, done that, still doing it.. I am just running out of family to come to me.  

I am having similar issues with financial problems and funkiness.. I am in a food funk and an exercise funk.  I'm hoping the change in my meds will help me. 

your brother--maybe you need to distance yourself from him for a bit until things blow over.  Your relationship with Brian is too important for it to be affected by an addict.  Your brother has issues.  You know that, Brian knows that.  But, if hurtful things are being said, then stay away for awhile.

Your grandfather.. don't really know what to say about that.  It's so hard to see our family members suffer.  Sometimes there is nothing we can do bu****ch it happen.  Nothing NURSE Pam does is going to help.  Granddaughter Pam can only be there for him and love him with everything you have. 

Finances/gym membership--- what else do you do for YOU? I don't think you should cancel your membership--maybe the trainer, but not the membership.  You need to get your ass to the gym.  It will help release some of the stress by working it out.. I know  pot/kettle... I'm writing this for you and for me!

Your cousin... holy **** those poor kids.  Maybe you can replace some of the kids stuff by posting on the board and at work that you are looking for clothes/toys in such and such sizes, ages, gender of kids.  That will help you to help the kids.  As far as the parents, what can you do? Nothing, unless you want to take drastic action and call the authorities.

So, looking back.. maybe I did have some advice for you.  I hope something I said was of some help.

Hugs and love to you and Brian.  Call anytime

Thanks :)  De Ja Vu all over again!

For those going "what KIDS" is she talking about - there will be a post about that momentarily

Oh Pam--I can understand where you are coming from...I love teaching..but the "passion" just isnt here right now...I do have difficulty wanting to do this and am at crossroads as to what I should do...

How do we as post ops almost a few years out keep the passion for our health and our lives in a motivated fashion?? It is an interesting point you bring up and I am sure many of us are on this same road.

I think it is important for all of us to make sure that we are taking care of us first---it is so easy to let concern for others needs override our own whether it is at work or at home, with family or with friends but it is vital that we remember ourselves in the midst of our daily lives and routines.  I just read an article not too long ago about a woman who was completely stressed out by motherhood, work, children, her job...she suggested taking 15 mins each morning or evening for personal meditation.
 
Maybe you could just carve out some time to indulge a personal hobby or take up a new interest--something to spark your passion and work your way out a rut...just a suggestion!  I am interested to see what insights everyone else has...

((HUGS))
Much luv!
Laura

 

Thanks Laura. It's good to know I"m not the only one!

RESPONSIBILITY - thank God you have it but it does tend to make us the boring, routine ones. You have a job that requires you being extremely responsible in every aspect - you are responsible for the livelihood of you and your husband - your family lays a lot of responsibility on you for emotional support. You don't have the luxury of running away from life when it gets tough or boring - and when you're concentrating on all those other things you tend to forget to concentrate on yourself - your wants, your needs, your health and your life in general.

For the past few years you know what my husband and I have gone through with my mom, and while my siblings tried ot be there for us it was much easier to let the burden fall on us, which meant routine, mundane lives - nothing to shake things up - concentrating on taking care of mom and her needs and forgetting our own - while they told us about their weekends away - parties or picnics with friends and neighbors - FUN things that they were able to just pick up and do that we couldn't. Trust me, it sucked.

Now that we have our lives back it's been hard to forge ahead and do things without feeing guilty! How ridiculous is that? But you know what - maybe that's what you and Brian need to do - start making weekends or time for yourselves - just shut off the cell phones - run away!! Even if it's just a day trip here or there it could make all the difference in the world to get you out of a rut - get you re-motivated on yourself - and re-energized. Because where you are right now mentally is not good and a funk can lead to depression and illness and other nasty little side effects.

So run away Pam! Start looking for fun things to do in the areas where you live - and don't for one minute feel guilty for carving time out for yourself!

Kathy

Funny you should mention running away - because - I'm in the midst of planning that with some girlfriends for me to take time for me....not even concentrating on Brian, lol

Responsibility - ugh.  Double edged sword, no?

Thanks for sharing and insight - I always appreciate it!

Find a non stressful form of release like a hobby to focus on such as gardening or painting or drawing or crossword puzzles. It will give your brain a break and something to focus on without conflict or emotion.

Yes.....I need to do that and not feel guilty about it.  If I'm reading or doing something like that "mindless" I find myself feel like I should be doing something else.  It sounds stupid when I say it out loud (or type it out here) but obviously that's an area I need to work on.  Thanks!

Miss Pam..If you find out the answers PLEASE let me know! 

Seriously you are not alone in this feeling and seems you got some great feedback so far on making time for you and ways to find the passion.

Yet I can tell you that 2 years out the last few months have been a struggle for me emotions all over the place and I have made a few bad choices yet will not beat myself up over it. I know in my heart what I have to do but staying with it is what is getting me in trouble.


You have a major full plate of people depending on you but I think it maybe time for you to throw out the white flag be selfish and take time to work on PAM!  If you are not in a good place you will not be good for anyone else in the long run.

As for the job and boredom I understand that one I am at the point for myself where I keep asking what do I want to be when I grow up.

If you ever need a shoulder to just vent let me know I listen very good!