Funeral Update

I am back from the funeral. I sat in the back as I said I would. Bobby gave the eulogy and started it out with saying " Many of you know that 15 years ago i made the biggest mistake of my life. I left my wife and children, because I was selfish wanted to be with someone else. I abandoned them and I have never forgiven myself" soooooo you can guess how the rest went. I laid low but when they walked the casket out, I could not hide. Bobby saw me and made a gesture, then his ex wife stephens mom kathy saw me. I froze I did not know what to do. I was flashing back to all the times we did FAMILY stuff and I would try and stay out of her way and out of the hateful glaere she always had for me. I felt so sick. After they left Bobbys sister came back around and came to where I was and hugged me and told me she missed me and she was glad I came. Then i broke down. I needed that hug and that acknowledgement so badly. It was very hard but I am ready to move forward. I appreciate all of the support you all have given me.

I am glad that you got to go to find closure Nicole.  Times like this can be hard and you held your own with class and diginity. Love you! 

That was a crappy thing for him to do;  the funeral wasn't ALL ABOUT HIM. 

I'm sorry you had to go through this as you were only there to honor his son's memory.

Maybe he needs to feel guilty, but he didn't have to assault you like that, especially when he had specifically said you should come.

thanks Lynn. He is in pain. He feels responsible. I guess he holds me responsible as well. I am sure Kathy does. It was hard, I wish he had not done that but he felt lead to. It sucked but I dealt with it.  I am pretty ok with it all. I am glad i went anyway

I'm sorry this was such a difficult time for you - especially since you are always so supportive of everyone else - I don't know the history and it's none of my business - just wanted you to know I was thinking of your today and hoping that you got through it.

Kathy

Kathy i thank you. I am not saint. I have definately made mistakes. I am afterall a wounded healer, that is what makes me a good therapist and supporter. I can empathize. The right thing to do is often the hardest thing to do. I appreciate your support

Nicole,

As you know so well, pain can cause people to say things that hurt others, sometimes without meaning to.  I'm fairly sure he felt that his "mea culpa" was inwardly directed, without thinking about the impact of his words on you and Kathy.  BUT... you did the right things by being there and mourning your son of the heart.  The healing can now begin on all fronts and for everyone.  Hugs to you, dear.

Karen

Nic...Im sorry it was such a hard day for you.  If you need anything, call me...we can get together or just talk.

hg

*hugs* I am sorry that you had a rough day but hope that it gave you some closure.

I am just a call/text/e-mail away if you need anything

Liz

What a touching story.  I'm glad you were able to have some healing going for yourself, as well as allow and help the family members to heal.  It sounded like THEY wanted to see you, too.

Continued thoughts prayers and hugs to you and the family