OT:Need to whine, or just vent, or something....

I am finally getting the last procedure to get rid of the awful pain from my herniated discs on Friday the 23rd.  Right now, I am in agony with the pain.  

I need physical therapy before and after my procedure, and that starts tomorrow.

My bipolar symptoms are fluctuating.  If I take the proper dose, I can't help but oversleep till like 8:30.  That does not work if I have to get up at 5:30.  I have even tried taking the dose at 9:30 p.m.  To take it any earlier is not good as I have group two nights  wee****il late.  

I am in group therapy two nights a week. 

I have considered retiring because of all my health issues, but can't right now due to $$$$$.

I am thinking about just taking sick leave for the remainder of the year, as I am on warning about the number of incidences my absences thus far.  I do not want to get a 204, which will happen if I am absent again, and come back.

I feel like such a whiny loser right now, and am terrified of what is happening to me healthwise and emotionally.  I can't fit it all in.  I feel overwhelmed.  

I guess I just need a shoulder to cry on. 

You have group two nights - so what about the other 5 nights?  Can you take the meds early about 7pm on those other 5 nights?  I know generally speaking meds need to be taken at a consistent time....but the actuality of it is that taking them a bit later 2 nights out of the week is probably ok.

If you are on sick leave for the remainder of the year - you will have to have a doctors note for that and will probably need to be put on short term disability, if your job offers that. When you were out for your last hospitalization, did you use short term disability?  If you did, then some of that is used up.  I believe it only covers up to 12 weeks or something like that.

I hate to even mention this - but have you thought about permament disability?  It would be a way to 'retire' seeing as though you are mentioning that....  I don't know how much financially that would impact you though

Thanks Pam,
I have looked into permanent disability, and the catch is, I would have to stop working, like quit, BEFORE I apply, and fear being turned down, because I have heard that a lot of mental health applicants are turned down without hiring a lawyer.  That stress alone would make me crazier.

I could take the night meds earlier, but then would not get anything accomplished because I would be in bed sleeping.  At the hospital bedtime meds were around 9:30, which made sense.  That is why I have begun taking them at that time.  It is discouraging to say the least.

Thanks for the insights.  I always appreciate your input.  

Hugs,
Trish

Do you have a sick bank that would cover you for the rest of the school year?

If you go this route, I would approach it from the standpoint of what is best for your students. No one can argue with that.

Overwhelmed is not a good feeling. Are you able to do ONE thing each day that you enjoy doing?

Go ahead and whine - it's okay - you have a lot of shoulders out here.

I agree with Pam, tho - maybe permanent disability is something to consider and look in to. I know it usually takes a few tries (appeals) to get it but it's not just your mental health that is causing you problems but you have a lot of physical issues (severe back pain?) that is keeping you from working steadily.

In the meantime go for the leave of absence - not sure you can collect unemployment for that but it's also worth looking into. And don't discount food stamps or Medicaid if you need it - right now with PA unemployment being over 10% I bet you would qualify for one or the other, or both. I don't advocate people using it when they can work, but in your situation it might help get you though some of the rougher patches right now.

Take care of yourself - please take your meds - they are a definite must. And watch your overall health with eating - you don't want your system running down.

Keep us posted...Kathy