A case of jitters
OK, I'm not good at accepting compliments.
Since I have not shared the details of my WLS with very many people, ESPECIALLY those at work, I usually make light of their compliments/comments about my weight loss (such as, "Don't worry, I'm not going to waste away to nothing any time soon....")
But this week I will see a group of people - about 30 - from several states, who I have not seen in 6 months. And the difference now will be dramatic. Last time we met, I had lost 40 lbs. The comments then were "Aren't you losing some weight?" and "Did you get new glasses?" or...simply nothing, which pissed me off at the time!
Now - no doubt what's different. (And oh yeah, my hair is longer now.)
The meetings start on Thursday and go for 3 days. I am already a bundle of nerves over fielding their comments. Some people may not recognize me (a few already haven't in different settings).
On the ohter hand, I'm looking forward to wearing new clothes and looking really nice, especially for the "fancier" Friday night dinner (a size 8 skirt and dressy jacket in size petite medium)! For Saturday (more casual) I have a pair of size 8 pants and a size S sweater and polo shirt! (See? I can celebrate that HERE....but real life is a whole different place!)
Since I have not shared the details of my WLS with very many people, ESPECIALLY those at work, I usually make light of their compliments/comments about my weight loss (such as, "Don't worry, I'm not going to waste away to nothing any time soon....")
But this week I will see a group of people - about 30 - from several states, who I have not seen in 6 months. And the difference now will be dramatic. Last time we met, I had lost 40 lbs. The comments then were "Aren't you losing some weight?" and "Did you get new glasses?" or...simply nothing, which pissed me off at the time!
Now - no doubt what's different. (And oh yeah, my hair is longer now.)
The meetings start on Thursday and go for 3 days. I am already a bundle of nerves over fielding their comments. Some people may not recognize me (a few already haven't in different settings).
On the ohter hand, I'm looking forward to wearing new clothes and looking really nice, especially for the "fancier" Friday night dinner (a size 8 skirt and dressy jacket in size petite medium)! For Saturday (more casual) I have a pair of size 8 pants and a size S sweater and polo shirt! (See? I can celebrate that HERE....but real life is a whole different place!)
Lynn - my standard reply to folks that I haven't seen in a while goes something like this when the see me and are in shock... "Well, I turned 40 and decided it was time to get healthy" That's it. I don't elaborate much more than that and I try not to let people go on too long.
Be confident - you have worked hard and you look awesome !
Lisa
Be confident - you have worked hard and you look awesome !
Lisa
Lynn,
Just be gracious and accept their compliments. No need to tell them about your surgery if you don't want to. Just smile and tell them you've been working really hard at your weight loss, which is the truth. I only told 2 of my coworkers about my surgery beforehand, and 1 more when our project ended. I saw some of them last month and still didn't tell them. I think they suspect, but that's fine. I didn't tell them because most of them are very opinionated and judgemental and I knew I couldn't change that.
So, smile and accept their compliments---and enjoy those size 8s!!!!!
Just be gracious and accept their compliments. No need to tell them about your surgery if you don't want to. Just smile and tell them you've been working really hard at your weight loss, which is the truth. I only told 2 of my coworkers about my surgery beforehand, and 1 more when our project ended. I saw some of them last month and still didn't tell them. I think they suspect, but that's fine. I didn't tell them because most of them are very opinionated and judgemental and I knew I couldn't change that.
So, smile and accept their compliments---and enjoy those size 8s!!!!!
Julia
I TOTALLY hear you. I didn't share my WLS with ANY of my extended family. And this past winter I walked into a whole big family gathering. Many had not seen me since two weeks after surgery, which they didn't know about at the time, and of course...the change was VERY dramatic. I was not recognized at all by a good handful of them until I went over and said hello. And the ENTIRE party was then focused on me. How I look. What I eat. What I ate while I was there. My exercise routine. Brian's feelings on the subject. It was literally nonstop. And I hated almost every minute of it. Don't get me wrong...I appreciated the compliments (I am slowly learning how to do that) but I did NOT like not being able to talk to anyone about anything else for more than 2 mins. I finally had to just let that part roll off my back and insist on changing the subject and what not. After the fact I was less upset by the events...and realized that they were discovering "me" the way I am discovering me.
Keep that in mind, take the compliments and have a handful of truthful statements that you will use repeatedly "I exercise daily by doing x y and z" "I don't eat any refined sugars" "I eat protein first, fruits and veggies second, and carbs lastly if at all" "I eat very small portions 5-6 times a day to keep my metabolism up" None of these are lies "I got tired of being unhappy of who I was" "I was not fulfilling MY life expectations of myself, and to disappoint MYSELF was simply no longer an option" "I belong to a weight loss support group to keep myself on track. We meet online and we also have cooking groups once a month to exchange and rewrite recipies to make them healthier but without deprivation" I must have said these things 30 different times over the course of the evening.
Good luck - and remember - you have worked DAMN hard to get to where you are, and are still working at it and will continue to work on it for a lifetime of successing. That being said, you DESERVE the congratulations and the compliments. Just as you would congratulate a coworker on a new promotion they have worked hard for, this is YOUR promotion in life.
Keep that in mind, take the compliments and have a handful of truthful statements that you will use repeatedly "I exercise daily by doing x y and z" "I don't eat any refined sugars" "I eat protein first, fruits and veggies second, and carbs lastly if at all" "I eat very small portions 5-6 times a day to keep my metabolism up" None of these are lies "I got tired of being unhappy of who I was" "I was not fulfilling MY life expectations of myself, and to disappoint MYSELF was simply no longer an option" "I belong to a weight loss support group to keep myself on track. We meet online and we also have cooking groups once a month to exchange and rewrite recipies to make them healthier but without deprivation" I must have said these things 30 different times over the course of the evening.
Good luck - and remember - you have worked DAMN hard to get to where you are, and are still working at it and will continue to work on it for a lifetime of successing. That being said, you DESERVE the congratulations and the compliments. Just as you would congratulate a coworker on a new promotion they have worked hard for, this is YOUR promotion in life.
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
I thoroughly second everything said so far (and Pam's "stock answers" could come from my own playbook!)...
One thing I've joked about is that 'I've literally worked my butt off"... which is true! Gets a laugh, underscores that this is NOT the "easy way" and puts people at ease. For a lot of people, there may also be a concern that an illness caused you to lose so much weight, and genuine concern will lead them to ask (sometimes in awkward ways... "but are you really OK?").
It's human nature to want to explore how something so dramati****urred - for many of the people, it will be a need for information, inspiration to get their own spare tires deflated, and so forth. For others, it's curiousity or an easy topic to engage you in. Once the newness wears off, the questions and conversation will abate.
Understand that you've made a dramatic change in yourself and that it WILL attract attention until people adapt to the new normal you and understand that the "you" they've always known hasn't really changed underneath. Yes, it's uncomfortable, but it's part of human nature. Savor the recognition of your accomplishment and just be gracious with it. The attention will go away soon enough ;-).
Karen
One thing I've joked about is that 'I've literally worked my butt off"... which is true! Gets a laugh, underscores that this is NOT the "easy way" and puts people at ease. For a lot of people, there may also be a concern that an illness caused you to lose so much weight, and genuine concern will lead them to ask (sometimes in awkward ways... "but are you really OK?").
It's human nature to want to explore how something so dramati****urred - for many of the people, it will be a need for information, inspiration to get their own spare tires deflated, and so forth. For others, it's curiousity or an easy topic to engage you in. Once the newness wears off, the questions and conversation will abate.
Understand that you've made a dramatic change in yourself and that it WILL attract attention until people adapt to the new normal you and understand that the "you" they've always known hasn't really changed underneath. Yes, it's uncomfortable, but it's part of human nature. Savor the recognition of your accomplishment and just be gracious with it. The attention will go away soon enough ;-).
Karen
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