FML---- adolescent's issues

continued from my roll call post: checked Siehara's cell phone this morning for texts

She is texting SOME GUY who lives in California.. ok... the texts have all kinds of lies on them about who she lives with, her parents died, then I'm a ***** etc etc... ok, she doesn't want him to know who she really is... not great, but not so bad and to be expected from an adolescent. 

The part that has me scared out of my mind is that she was talking about sex acts with this guy... in explicit detail?!?!?! WTF?!!?!  She described things that nobody her age should know about.  I asked her how she knew what they were and she said from movies.  I have watched movies with her. NONE of her movies talk about doing sexual things besides making out. She said she heard me say the language that she is using.. ok, that's possible.. and they say it on TV and on the radio. 

My guess is that she got this stuff from her prized Zwinky account that she is on constantly.  I have taken her cell phone away from her and cancelled her Zwinky account.  Once I show the texts to her counselor, I will delete this Joey guy from her phone.  I am thinking I should probably let him know that she is only 11 years old.  I don't know who or how old he is.  The phone number comes up as a cell in California.

OMG I just don't even know what to think, how to feel, what to do.. TG we have a counselor because I am just at a loss.  She knows this is bad because she only argued a bit in the beginning telling me that she didn't send any texts about sex and didn't know what D**K was.  Then, as she could see me getting more and more upset/angry, she just got quiet.  Then, she told me she felt nauseous.. well yeah.. she got caught in something major. No wonder she felt sick... sent her to school anyway.

AARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WOW - I am so sorry you are going through this! I would definately talk to the counselor about this, maybe even the one at school in addition. I would call your cell phone company and get a transcript of the texts - if this guy in CA turns out to be some kind of low life they might come in handy and help to protect another young girl.

*hugs* if you need anything I'm at my desk all day today. [email protected] or you can even call.



Liz

called AT&T and they don't have access to the content of the texts for privacy reasons.  I told her there were inappropriate texts and was there anything that could be done.  She said that I may be able to get the police involved and they could request it with a subpoena.  Then, there is a number they give the police to call to get the information.  She said more than this guy did, but still.. he was in on it, too.  I am not sure if I should call or not?? 

I would definately call the police. I KNOW that they can get the records, I've been through it with AT&T and a friend. It can't hurt. That's what they are there for!

Holy crap Lisa.  I'm here if you need anything.

I'd, in all honesty, take it to the police.  You can't be to careful.  Just because it comes up as a cell in california doesn't mean that (assuming this is a grown adult, older teenager, WHATEVER) isn't around the area trying to get to her or somebody elses little girl.

And you've already done all the right first steps.  Taking away her communication right now is KEY.  What about her FB account?  Any chance she is connecting with this person (or somebody else) through that?

Hugs honey, that's all I can give you right now with this.

she doesn't get on FB too often, or at least she didn't before this.  She was already banned from weekday computer use due to homework issues.

I just checked her friends on FB and I know everyone on her list.  I have all notifications from FB going to my email address, always have.  I also have all kinds of filters on it, including blocking MY entire wall from her view.  I think the FB acct is safe for now.  I will continue to monitor it.. though she won't be on the computer anytime soon for me to worry too much about that.

I am going to call the police today to see what can be done. 

CRAP CRAP CRAP

STEP AWAY FROM THE FOOD!!!!  Sorry - I just thought a cute phrase was needed here!  Wow - VERY scary stuff.  I actually had Molly's phone yesterday and went through her messages as well.  She told me she was excited to have Siehara's number. I will continue to keep a look out from my end as well.  There was nothing yesterday.  Keep us posted on what the police have to say.

This stuff is way too scary!!!  I'm glad you decided to call the police.  Err on the side of caution!! This guy could be someone they're already monitoring or he could be some kid who's Siehara's age---but you have no way of knowing.  Best to let the authorities handle it.

I love you, and this comes from my heart. Ok?

Too much electronic **** is given to our kids. They have access to everything we as adults do. Since when is a child allowed to have access to adult possesions and information.

My kids are not allowed cell phones. My boys just think they have to cause thier friends do. Uh, no.......

My kids are only allowed to use the internet in the same room I am in. AND I have parental blocks on thier accounts AND I check history cause kids these days know more than me about computers, and I am a freak about them figuring out a way around what I have done.

I know in this day and age, computers are a must. For school assignments, and life skills in general. Kids must be able to use a computer these days. However, it doesn't mean they have to be able to be on it all the time, alone, or have access to certain sites.

You need to make a clear statement about this stuff to her. She is a child. She doesn't get to do anything she wants. She doesn't get to choose what she's allowed to access. YOU DO! And tough **** if it ****** her off. You are her mom first.....then friend.

Many of my friends think I am too strict about these things. But I never have stores to tell about inappropriate behavior concerning cells, or internet. They do. So I stick to my guns, and really, my kids don't fight me on it. Cause if they do, thier computer access will be taken away permanently. So they know to just be happy with what they can do.

Good luck. Hope the counselor helps and hope you get this all straightened out.

You are a strict Mommy... I want to be just like you when my baby comes :) People are already telling me that my ideals are too tough.