frustrated--venting and need help or just someone to read this
I can't add anything to the wonderful positive reinforcement you have already gotten. Your journey thus far is FABULOUS and you are right you are NOT a failure. Being in a stall for so long is just miserable.
I feel ya when you talk about portion control. When I am at home all heck breaks loose. I don't follow a structured plan, I eat throughout the day, yadda yadda yadda. Very rarely when not at work do I feel full.
However....I have learned how to ask myself a slightly different question regarding eating, especially at home. I no longer ask myself if I am "full" I ask myself if I am HUNGRY. It doesn't seem to be that different, but it is. Including when I am "done" eating. I don't ask myself if I feel full - I ask myself if I am still physically hungry. Most of the time, the answer is no (doesn't mean that I don't still want to pick at someone elses plate or what not, especially at restaurants)
For work I'm much better. I do preportion EVERYTHING and I watch everything that goes into my mouth. I'm not perfect as many times throughout the night I grab a package of saltines or graham crackers that was not planned.
I think the reading of your books is a GREAT idea (albeit I have not read them....I do have the Beck book. I had started it but never continued with it)
And I cried too recently...I still haven't lost the extra weight I gained...I thought for sure it would be off....but unlike you I haven't even been committed to the gym like I had planned. Although, I'm going this am. Enough BS-ing with it for me.
Eric summed it up - almost everyone in this "room" would bend over backwards to support you - because that's what you would do for us and because we love you dearly.
Hang in there
I feel ya when you talk about portion control. When I am at home all heck breaks loose. I don't follow a structured plan, I eat throughout the day, yadda yadda yadda. Very rarely when not at work do I feel full.
However....I have learned how to ask myself a slightly different question regarding eating, especially at home. I no longer ask myself if I am "full" I ask myself if I am HUNGRY. It doesn't seem to be that different, but it is. Including when I am "done" eating. I don't ask myself if I feel full - I ask myself if I am still physically hungry. Most of the time, the answer is no (doesn't mean that I don't still want to pick at someone elses plate or what not, especially at restaurants)
For work I'm much better. I do preportion EVERYTHING and I watch everything that goes into my mouth. I'm not perfect as many times throughout the night I grab a package of saltines or graham crackers that was not planned.
I think the reading of your books is a GREAT idea (albeit I have not read them....I do have the Beck book. I had started it but never continued with it)
And I cried too recently...I still haven't lost the extra weight I gained...I thought for sure it would be off....but unlike you I haven't even been committed to the gym like I had planned. Although, I'm going this am. Enough BS-ing with it for me.
Eric summed it up - almost everyone in this "room" would bend over backwards to support you - because that's what you would do for us and because we love you dearly.
Hang in there
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
Lisa
You are a phenominal person, we all have the ability to eat every hour without getting sick, its called grazing. You need to get out of the house and away from the food. Find very low cal, carb, fat foods that you can feel satisfied on. I know your surgeon said no gum, but I use it to keep from eating and drinking when I should not do either of those things. We all fight the same battle. Its a matter of comittment and its in you to find it. I find that when I am out of the house, I tend not eat as much although when I come home the demons are waiting for me, so I have found that running around the house vacuuming and dusting things that dont need to be done, it creates a distraction. I'm sending you a cyber hug and sending you inner strength thru telepathic communication, hope you get it.
Some days your the dog and some days your the hydrant.
Lisa - many hugs coming your way. I found myself in a bit of a rut too with eating and being stalled.
Last week I went back-to-basics - modified a bit to compensate for work-outs and dinners that would get me thru the rest of the evening without eating. I got out the protein drinks and had two per day too. That really helped keep me satisified. I also tracked everything on Fitday. That kept me honest. I was also committed to exercise and went to the gym four times.
I stepped on the scale Friday morning and I lost 3 pounds.
It was difficult to go back to liquids, but I embraced it and went for it and it worked !
Good luck and keep on posting.
Lisa
Last week I went back-to-basics - modified a bit to compensate for work-outs and dinners that would get me thru the rest of the evening without eating. I got out the protein drinks and had two per day too. That really helped keep me satisified. I also tracked everything on Fitday. That kept me honest. I was also committed to exercise and went to the gym four times.
I stepped on the scale Friday morning and I lost 3 pounds.
It was difficult to go back to liquids, but I embraced it and went for it and it worked !
Good luck and keep on posting.
Lisa
R K.
on 3/21/10 10:36 pm
on 3/21/10 10:36 pm
I see you are in Whitehall. St Lukes at the Allentown location has a support group that is open to all and it`s free. They also have a group for a minimal charge for people that fell off the wagon and need some extra coaching and support. They also have an online forum open to all and they have activities open to all like bowling and an upcoming trip to Knoebels.
http://mystlukesonline.activeboards.net/default.asp
http://www.mystlukesonline.org/conditions-and-services/st-lu ke-s-bariatric-services/support-group.aspx
http://www.mystlukesonline.org/conditions-and-services/st-lu ke-s-bariatric-services/my-weight-is-over/spring-2010.aspx
http://www.mystlukesonline.org/conditions-and-services/st-lu ke-s-bariatric-services/index.aspx
http://mystlukesonline.activeboards.net/default.asp
http://www.mystlukesonline.org/conditions-and-services/st-lu ke-s-bariatric-services/support-group.aspx
http://www.mystlukesonline.org/conditions-and-services/st-lu ke-s-bariatric-services/my-weight-is-over/spring-2010.aspx
http://www.mystlukesonline.org/conditions-and-services/st-lu ke-s-bariatric-services/index.aspx
*
"If I only had three words of advice, they would be, Tell the Truth. If got three more words, I'd add, all the time."
— Randy Pausch
"If I only had three words of advice, they would be, Tell the Truth. If got three more words, I'd add, all the time."
— Randy Pausch
Oh Lisa... I'm so sorry i didn't see this until just now or I would have called you last night.
Now... on to some tough questions and maybe even some tough love...
First off, maybe your dislike for your surgeon has sometrhing to do with your stall or your difficulty sticking with "his" plan. You said a few weeks ago that you were through with him - so MAKE IT SO... wash that man right outa your hair, fire him, whatever metaphor works. Get rid of his plan, figure out one that you can make into YOUR plan (your plan = YOU own it) and get on it. Don't look back.
Take a hard look at how you're putting together the plan that you post to the daily thread. Are you posting things that you really WANT, or things that you think will make you look good to the rest of us? Have you (in advance) calculated the nutrition of the things you post? Do they fulfill your nutritional needs (is there enough of everything in your plan)? Because if you're posting and planning a day that's deficient in something (too low in carbs or fat, for example), you may get down into the afternoon and your body is telling you it NEEDS another nutrient, and that can be setting you up for unplanned eating. Is each "meal" balanced in carbs/protein/fat?
From the psychological perspective, are you afraid of being thin? Afraid of handling guy issues without an "excuse" for them? Afraid of the attention and what it will mean? Afraid of success, because without the loss goal ahead of you, it becomes "maintenance" and what IS that beast? Afraid of... well... whatever?
You don't need to answer ME or anyone on any of these questions. They're just meant to help frame some alternative paths of thought for you as you explore why you're stalled. I think it comes down as Nicole once said, to recursively asking "why" until you finally get to a root cause. Like (one of mine) "why did I eat that cookie?" -because i wanted it "Why did I want it?" -because I was bored "Why did I eat because I was bored?" -because i thought it woudl make me feel fuller "Why did I think that?" -because it had worked in the past "Why did it work in the past?" - because I was numbing my feelings about social trauma "Why were you numbing your feelings" -because I didn't know how to deal with rejection "Why didn't you know how to deal with rejection?" -because I never saw positive modeling of behaviors for dealing with social rejection (a HA moment for me, btw) "Why did you never see those behaviors?" -because as an only child of older parents, there were no social peers for me to observe... and it keeps going... etc.
Anyway. Take a deep breath. Realize the need to be kind to yourself (truly kind - be your best friend) and to be toward yourself as you are to others - just as giving and generous and loving and patient. Be honest with yourself - track your food for yourself on sparkpeople or something - track everything you put in your mouth, not only what you PLAN to put in your mouth. Observe over time where you're going over. is it in carbs, fats, calories, or everything? That might point you in a more concise direction. I know for me, right now, it's fats that I'm struggling with now that I've got the sugars under "control."
I've been stalled for 3 months. I'm dreading going back to Dr. P at the end of April and being exactly the same weight as 3 months ago. But it's a real possibility if my body doesn't want to lose it. But my mind needs to get behind it, too, so I completely understand where you're coming from. And that century mark is nothing but a psychological marker - a potent one (and one that I would LOVE to get to, having been at 96.6 for 3 freaking months), but it's just a number. Focus on the real things - being in control and comfortable with your eating, exercising and feeling fit and energetic, feeling more confident in your own skin. Those are the real goals in all this.
HUGS and call me if you still want to talk about this.
Karen
Now... on to some tough questions and maybe even some tough love...
First off, maybe your dislike for your surgeon has sometrhing to do with your stall or your difficulty sticking with "his" plan. You said a few weeks ago that you were through with him - so MAKE IT SO... wash that man right outa your hair, fire him, whatever metaphor works. Get rid of his plan, figure out one that you can make into YOUR plan (your plan = YOU own it) and get on it. Don't look back.
Take a hard look at how you're putting together the plan that you post to the daily thread. Are you posting things that you really WANT, or things that you think will make you look good to the rest of us? Have you (in advance) calculated the nutrition of the things you post? Do they fulfill your nutritional needs (is there enough of everything in your plan)? Because if you're posting and planning a day that's deficient in something (too low in carbs or fat, for example), you may get down into the afternoon and your body is telling you it NEEDS another nutrient, and that can be setting you up for unplanned eating. Is each "meal" balanced in carbs/protein/fat?
From the psychological perspective, are you afraid of being thin? Afraid of handling guy issues without an "excuse" for them? Afraid of the attention and what it will mean? Afraid of success, because without the loss goal ahead of you, it becomes "maintenance" and what IS that beast? Afraid of... well... whatever?
You don't need to answer ME or anyone on any of these questions. They're just meant to help frame some alternative paths of thought for you as you explore why you're stalled. I think it comes down as Nicole once said, to recursively asking "why" until you finally get to a root cause. Like (one of mine) "why did I eat that cookie?" -because i wanted it "Why did I want it?" -because I was bored "Why did I eat because I was bored?" -because i thought it woudl make me feel fuller "Why did I think that?" -because it had worked in the past "Why did it work in the past?" - because I was numbing my feelings about social trauma "Why were you numbing your feelings" -because I didn't know how to deal with rejection "Why didn't you know how to deal with rejection?" -because I never saw positive modeling of behaviors for dealing with social rejection (a HA moment for me, btw) "Why did you never see those behaviors?" -because as an only child of older parents, there were no social peers for me to observe... and it keeps going... etc.
Anyway. Take a deep breath. Realize the need to be kind to yourself (truly kind - be your best friend) and to be toward yourself as you are to others - just as giving and generous and loving and patient. Be honest with yourself - track your food for yourself on sparkpeople or something - track everything you put in your mouth, not only what you PLAN to put in your mouth. Observe over time where you're going over. is it in carbs, fats, calories, or everything? That might point you in a more concise direction. I know for me, right now, it's fats that I'm struggling with now that I've got the sugars under "control."
I've been stalled for 3 months. I'm dreading going back to Dr. P at the end of April and being exactly the same weight as 3 months ago. But it's a real possibility if my body doesn't want to lose it. But my mind needs to get behind it, too, so I completely understand where you're coming from. And that century mark is nothing but a psychological marker - a potent one (and one that I would LOVE to get to, having been at 96.6 for 3 freaking months), but it's just a number. Focus on the real things - being in control and comfortable with your eating, exercising and feeling fit and energetic, feeling more confident in your own skin. Those are the real goals in all this.
HUGS and call me if you still want to talk about this.
Karen
Did we really understand how this would continue to be a life long struggle even after the surgery? I don't think I really had that concept grasped. So many folks here have giving you such good advice and support. I'm alway amazed at the eloquent responses on these boards.
Know that you have friendship, love, and support here.
Lisa Mc
P.S. You've inspired me to pick up my copy of Anatomy of Food Addiction.
Know that you have friendship, love, and support here.
Lisa Mc
P.S. You've inspired me to pick up my copy of Anatomy of Food Addiction.
Aww Lisa you have to much to deal with right now. I want to tell you that you are an inspiration to me. Your commitment to the gym and working out inspires me to strive to do more. The honesty you always show when posting inspires me to be honest with myself and others about what I am eating and why. I wish there was an easy answer or an easy fix to what is going on with you but there isn't. Karen is absolutely right as always, it is going to take asking and answering some really tough questions. Hang in there Hun, and hopefully you can feel us all holding you up and sending you our love and support.
first and foremost hugs to you. Each of our journies is differnt. someone who started at 300 lbs may get there a lot quicker than someone who started at 225. It all depends on the body and how it works for you.
But.. I am new to all this and can only tell you that everyday is a struggle for me and I would venture to guess it is with everyone on this board. You are awesome and you will get through this and make your goal. I know because I see how hard you try and how much love and advice you give.
You are a "get back on the horse' kinda gal and maybe you just need to kick your HORSE or or know that you were given a slower horse
I love you.
But.. I am new to all this and can only tell you that everyday is a struggle for me and I would venture to guess it is with everyone on this board. You are awesome and you will get through this and make your goal. I know because I see how hard you try and how much love and advice you give.
You are a "get back on the horse' kinda gal and maybe you just need to kick your HORSE or or know that you were given a slower horse
I love you.
Sandra 
thank you all so much for your support through this. I have taken something from each of your replies and am going to apply it to my life. I took Anatomy of a Food Addiction out of the drawer and will start reading it tonight!
I also left a message for the nutritionist who I dealt with pre-surgery. I liked her and I know she knows about the requirements, so hopefully she can help me now.
I started the pouch test today.. and thank goodness I did, otherwise I would have eaten everything in sight after the crap with Siehara this morning.
I am also going to look into the support groups at St. Luke's and LVH to see when I can go to either of them. "MY" surgeon is no longer my surgeon. I got a PM from someone else who had him and has also had issues with his "plan". I am going to look into a few of the other surgeons around here. I would like someone to put a scope down just to let me know that there is nothing wrong with my pouch so I have that extra knowledge to know that it is me and not my pouch.
If it was not for all of you, I would not be where I am today. So, I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all!!
I also left a message for the nutritionist who I dealt with pre-surgery. I liked her and I know she knows about the requirements, so hopefully she can help me now.
I started the pouch test today.. and thank goodness I did, otherwise I would have eaten everything in sight after the crap with Siehara this morning.
I am also going to look into the support groups at St. Luke's and LVH to see when I can go to either of them. "MY" surgeon is no longer my surgeon. I got a PM from someone else who had him and has also had issues with his "plan". I am going to look into a few of the other surgeons around here. I would like someone to put a scope down just to let me know that there is nothing wrong with my pouch so I have that extra knowledge to know that it is me and not my pouch.
If it was not for all of you, I would not be where I am today. So, I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all!!
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