Alomst 3 year DIFFERENT wow moment

If I only knew  that nearly 3 years after surgery I'd STILL be hungry- physically and mentally, gaining weight, going up clothing sizes every season, having transfer addiction issuses, seeking new therapists, trying NUMEROUS anti-depressants, going back on Weigh****chers, making myself vomit after eating, starving myself, hating myself, hating my body, and STILL feeling like a failure in life... then I N E V E R.... NEVER.... would have gone under the knife on June 19, 2007...... never.


Anyone else having this wow?  ...er just me... ?

Jen I am VERY sorry to hear that you are going through this. I hope that you have sought help about the vomiting after meals - that isn't safe or healthy.

You aren't a failure! Have you "gotten back to basics" - protein first, veggies and fruit and carbs last? Getting in all your protein and fluids every day? Are you going to support groups and following up with your surgeon, lab work etc?

I hope that things get better for you soon!

*hugs*

Liz

PS - I am 3 years 2 months out of surgery, so right about the same time out as you

Have you "gotten back to basics" - protein first, veggies and fruit and carbs last? Getting in all your protein and fluids every day? Are you going to support groups and following up with your surgeon, lab work etc

yes...yes... yes.... uuuuggggghhhh

Jen,
When I first got out of WLS you used to attend the Barix post-op meetings and you and people like Andy inspired and awed me with your emphasis on the impact of excercising to long term weight loss success. I know that you have had some depression issues and you needed space to work out your issues. BUT know that you are cared for. You have inspired me in ways I cannot even tell you. It is because of you that I get an hour of excercise in every single day. I think about all the marathons you have ran and how amazing you have done so far. You are beautiful in every way. Please don't think about all the negative things that you are experiencing right now. Life has it's ups and down and I am just as flawed as you are. I am now trying to shed the last 10lbs that I have regained since my last pregnancy. The scale has not moved in months and I just have shed 2lbs in the last 2 weeks and that's because I work for Nutrisystem and took their weight loss challenge. My employer is now mandating that we lose weight and set an example for our clients. Sorry this post is long but your post is telling me you are hurting right now and I want you to know you are not alone we are here for you. Liz is right take a step back and go back to basics. Cyberhugs coming you way.

PS: If you need anything at all please reach out to me. I will PM you my cell number.

Thank you!

Jen,
I mean it. I am here for you. I truly feel so inspired by you. You just can't let these sub-committees get to you. TRUST me I have many of my own but as Shauna told me every single day you have to knock out one sub-committee after another if you don't it will eat at you. Been there done that. You also might be suffering from body dysmorphia. Mary Benford has suffered from that. I know you are stronger than this. I believe in you. Hope to see you at one of the post-op meetings. I would love to catch up with you.

Jen i am sorry. Have you tried any therapuetic tools like EFT or EMDR? Sometimes talk therapy is not as effective at these

I'm going to try a new therapist in a couple of weeks...plus new meds...hopefully.  The reason I went off meds  before, was because of the weight gain.  At this point, I've gained so much that I dont even care anymore if I gain.  If I canbe happy, then so it be.....

Sorry you are feeling this way, but truly, if you ARE doing al the right things and all this is still happening with weight gain, maybe something medically is wrong.

And without sounding harsh, even if you didn't go under the knife, you would still be battling most of those issues, in fact, I'd venture to say you would still be having ALL of those issues.

So I don't think "going under the knife" brought these things on. I think alot of people feel that once they have WLS "everything just gets better".  It doesn't. I am a true testament to that.

I am going on 6 years since surgery so I promise, I am not a newbie talking out of my ass. Depression still exists for me, bouts of staving myself occasionally happen, weight gain has happened, hating my body is still an issue. But not for one moment do I regret having the surgery. Why? Because all those things are psychological issues, not RNY issues.

I feel for you. I have compassion for your hurt and pain. But maybe tackling one thing at a time and moving past that before tackling another may help.

It sounds to me that you don't feel worthy enough. And you are. but you can be told that over and over, and you will never believe it until you want to.

I truly hope you work through this. You are beautiful, sucessful and worth the effort to find self happiness.

You know how much I care for and respect you on sooooo many levels.  You have been an inspiration, and like Shilpa, remember EXACTLY how you imprinted my mind very early out from surgery when going to Barix meetings.

You also know how much I have responded to you before with some of these issues.

I happen to agree with Jo - that these are NOT related to WLS - you just can't hide it anymore like  you did before WLS.  And there would come a time even if you DIDN'T have surgery that you wouldn't be able to hide from these issues.  Be it with food or not - eventually -  you would be just as miserable as you are today.  Possibly even sooner.

I've suggested it before....and you didn't think it was necessary...but I'm seriously thinking it might be time for inpatient for you.  Something more intense.  I'm unaware of the abbreviations Nicole is talking about...but it might be worth looking into.  The bulemia itself is enough to require something like that.

Let me know if you need ANYTHING