I am so surprised with myself!
I really need to get this out - I just came home from the consultation with the Plastic Surgeon. He was wonderful, talked me through everything, explained what I would need to get to him to get through to the insurance company and then it was time for the pictures. I have NEVER been worried about pictures - granted there are NOT any of my stomache or breasts deliberately taken, however, I knew that this was going to happen, so it should have NOT been a big deal. The Doctor was fine - did not make any faces, but I hated it! I stood there completely naked except for the underwear and socks. And there was my husband just standing there as someone was taking a picture of my breasts and then my stomache. Which I was soooo fortunate enough to have to take the pictures not just from the front but from each side as well. I know this is necessary and I WANT to do this, (BTW - would not happen until later this summer.) But I was just shocked at how bad I felt about myself. I started thinking about how I wish Larry would look at me differently now that I have lost all the weight, however, if I don't feel so good about my body, how can he!?!?
I don't know how to get past this. I ususally feel pretty good about myself when I get dressed in the morning, (yesterday was a different story), but the minute I take off my undergarments, read, "under armor", I feel as though I have become the fat girl again. It just sucks! I know it takes time, however, when will I start to feel as though I am NOT a fat person. I guess I just think that the clothes are what make me thin, but the real steffi is a size 26. I used to always like my Breasts - and now I HATE them! Even in the right bra - they are flabby and, well....blech! I am wondering that if I put myself through this major surgery and deal with the pain that comes along with it - will I ever be satisfied with my new body? I have always been a positive silly person. And I am finding myself more critical of myself and easily everwhelmed, these are relatively new phenomenon for me. I do realize that this is all part of the journey - I was just hoping that writing it down and talking with those of you who have, "been there done that", will help me get through this next phase!
I don't know how to get past this. I ususally feel pretty good about myself when I get dressed in the morning, (yesterday was a different story), but the minute I take off my undergarments, read, "under armor", I feel as though I have become the fat girl again. It just sucks! I know it takes time, however, when will I start to feel as though I am NOT a fat person. I guess I just think that the clothes are what make me thin, but the real steffi is a size 26. I used to always like my Breasts - and now I HATE them! Even in the right bra - they are flabby and, well....blech! I am wondering that if I put myself through this major surgery and deal with the pain that comes along with it - will I ever be satisfied with my new body? I have always been a positive silly person. And I am finding myself more critical of myself and easily everwhelmed, these are relatively new phenomenon for me. I do realize that this is all part of the journey - I was just hoping that writing it down and talking with those of you who have, "been there done that", will help me get through this next phase!
I know what u mean Steph ,that was the hardest part and then then when u r getting marked for surgery and standing there naked is horrible but u have toremember they are Dr's and professionals and have seen it all maybe even worse. but now that it is over and it looks so good I will bear my naked body w/o shame, it is not scary anymore, good luck with your plastics journey
Steffi, I understand. Completely!
Remember, I am actually "friends" with my surgeon. As in I see him at dinners, fund raisers, partying (yeah, he's one of our regular bar hopping pals since he lives right in downtown B-more), so I KNOW him, I know his son, his fiancee......
So when he first made me get "nekkid" for the first time I was horrified. he just told that once his white coat was on, all else goes out the window, he is going to treat me as a patient, not a friend and that I had to be a "good " patient and keep my smart ass to a minimum.
I tried to not crack jokes so we could do the consult as "professional as possible" but I have a smart mouth.
the point is, stranger, friend......it doesn't matter. it's tough no matter what. it's jut one of those other hurdles we jump (or trip over) to move on to another phase of out lives.
PS, did you see my OWN mother put a jewish response to my one FB status? ha ha. Who knew!
Remember, I am actually "friends" with my surgeon. As in I see him at dinners, fund raisers, partying (yeah, he's one of our regular bar hopping pals since he lives right in downtown B-more), so I KNOW him, I know his son, his fiancee......
So when he first made me get "nekkid" for the first time I was horrified. he just told that once his white coat was on, all else goes out the window, he is going to treat me as a patient, not a friend and that I had to be a "good " patient and keep my smart ass to a minimum.
I tried to not crack jokes so we could do the consult as "professional as possible" but I have a smart mouth.
the point is, stranger, friend......it doesn't matter. it's tough no matter what. it's jut one of those other hurdles we jump (or trip over) to move on to another phase of out lives.
PS, did you see my OWN mother put a jewish response to my one FB status? ha ha. Who knew!
When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila & salt and give me a call!
I have good days and bad days with that. My breasts? Hopeless. My inner thighs - again - hopeless. I have spanx that yes, I wear even under "regular" clothes depending on the occassion to suck myself in.
Fact of the matter is - that I don't have the requirements for insurance coverage, don't have the money and/or won't put aside that kind of money for plastics, AND we want to have kids...so plastics before that is just ridiculous.
I was in AWE in Arlene's surgiversary poem when she said that she looked at herself daily in the mirror in the nude and was pleased with what she saw. I can't do that. Granted...some days are alittle better then some...but not many.
Hang in there...vent to us...and give yourself credit for what you have done and WHO you have discovered.
The feelings of being overwhelmed..is it possible that is because you don't have food to distract you? I know my mom (who has had weight problems all her life) said when she was on multiple diets she realized she "ate because that way she had an excuse not to do something" IE cleaning, dealing with a disturbing situation, etc. And come to think of it, that is a "good" excuse. Think about it...if someone asks you "did you get x y and z done" most times an explanation such as "Oh not yet, I had to feed my kids dinner" or "Oh I'm doing that next, I had to get lunch first...." normally allows it to "ride out" if you will. Interesting concept.
Feel better!
Fact of the matter is - that I don't have the requirements for insurance coverage, don't have the money and/or won't put aside that kind of money for plastics, AND we want to have kids...so plastics before that is just ridiculous.
I was in AWE in Arlene's surgiversary poem when she said that she looked at herself daily in the mirror in the nude and was pleased with what she saw. I can't do that. Granted...some days are alittle better then some...but not many.
Hang in there...vent to us...and give yourself credit for what you have done and WHO you have discovered.
The feelings of being overwhelmed..is it possible that is because you don't have food to distract you? I know my mom (who has had weight problems all her life) said when she was on multiple diets she realized she "ate because that way she had an excuse not to do something" IE cleaning, dealing with a disturbing situation, etc. And come to think of it, that is a "good" excuse. Think about it...if someone asks you "did you get x y and z done" most times an explanation such as "Oh not yet, I had to feed my kids dinner" or "Oh I'm doing that next, I had to get lunch first...." normally allows it to "ride out" if you will. Interesting concept.
Feel better!
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
It really does take awhile for us to make peace with our new bodies. And lets face it, the carnage that is the flab and skin afterwards can be very disheartening. What you are experiencing is normal. I know men go through this as well, but women seem to have a real hard time with the breast issue. It is not fair to go through so much only to look like a melted candle afterwards.
I am over a year out from my plastics and i would not say i am totally satisfied but when i hold the before and after pics beside one another EVEN I cannot ignore how much better it is
I am over a year out from my plastics and i would not say i am totally satisfied but when i hold the before and after pics beside one another EVEN I cannot ignore how much better it is
Steffi, I went to a seminar a couple of weeks ago by a local (Harrisburg) radio personality who has lost 200 lbs. the "traditional" way. He also had some plastics done and addressed that as he shared his story. He said that people told him, "How can you do that? You will have scars!" He said he viewed the loose skin and sagginess as a scar - an everyday reminder that he simply couldn't live with.
Can I ask some questions?
Will the surgeon do multiple procedures at once for you?
Is there a chance that your insurance will cover it?
What is the recovery time?
Can I ask some questions?
Will the surgeon do multiple procedures at once for you?
Is there a chance that your insurance will cover it?
What is the recovery time?
Steffi,
Been there done that. I got my PS consult in December 2008 and was also mortified that my pics were taken in my underwear and socks but they were very professional and put me at east when he showed me the pics I literally looked like a HAG. Just ugly loose skin everywhere and I too have the armour that I put on to tuck me in I usually think I look okay with clothes on but once the clothes are off it's a whole different story. You know Larry loves you just the way you are as do we. Hugs coming you way.
Been there done that. I got my PS consult in December 2008 and was also mortified that my pics were taken in my underwear and socks but they were very professional and put me at east when he showed me the pics I literally looked like a HAG. Just ugly loose skin everywhere and I too have the armour that I put on to tuck me in I usually think I look okay with clothes on but once the clothes are off it's a whole different story. You know Larry loves you just the way you are as do we. Hugs coming you way.
-Shilpa
People comment on my over 100 pound weight loss and attribute it to my WILLpower, but it is my WANTpower: I WANT to be thin and healthy more than anything else!
Ah, Steffi my dear - hugs to you.
Know that you are beautiful in all of the ways that truly matter, first and foremost - I would much rather have YOU as a friend than a nasty ugly person like Naomi Campbell, no matter how tight her skinny ass might be.
Now... I do hear you - loud and clear. I'm having very similar issues with my own body. First, with my arms, which are really bothering me and preventing me from being comfortable even in workout clothes that have cap sleeves or are sleeveless. I'm seriously concerned about what I will do when the weather gets hot - just suck it up and endure the "stares" or sweat in short sleeves? I even found this glorious dress in Macy's downtown on sale, but could NOT buy it because of the sleeves - even asked my friend (who is a good and honest person, very supportive) what she thought and she agreed that it accented the arms too much. Sigh.
I'm also trying to get myself to buy a bathing suit to work out in, now that my gym has a pool. I go in and try them on and can't get past the stomach and thighs.... still feel "round" and fat. I cannot see anything past that in a swimsuit... just not possible. In other clothes, I can sometimes "glimpse" the "new me"... not in a swimsuit.
So, girl, we're going to have to work TOGETHER on this whole self-image thing and/or on the defiance of the world until we get our collective acts together and can change our mindsets.
I know, and you know - it's not about the pictures... or about someone else seeing us near-naked... it's about how WE see OURSELVES.
Hugs and love!
Karen
Know that you are beautiful in all of the ways that truly matter, first and foremost - I would much rather have YOU as a friend than a nasty ugly person like Naomi Campbell, no matter how tight her skinny ass might be.
Now... I do hear you - loud and clear. I'm having very similar issues with my own body. First, with my arms, which are really bothering me and preventing me from being comfortable even in workout clothes that have cap sleeves or are sleeveless. I'm seriously concerned about what I will do when the weather gets hot - just suck it up and endure the "stares" or sweat in short sleeves? I even found this glorious dress in Macy's downtown on sale, but could NOT buy it because of the sleeves - even asked my friend (who is a good and honest person, very supportive) what she thought and she agreed that it accented the arms too much. Sigh.
I'm also trying to get myself to buy a bathing suit to work out in, now that my gym has a pool. I go in and try them on and can't get past the stomach and thighs.... still feel "round" and fat. I cannot see anything past that in a swimsuit... just not possible. In other clothes, I can sometimes "glimpse" the "new me"... not in a swimsuit.
So, girl, we're going to have to work TOGETHER on this whole self-image thing and/or on the defiance of the world until we get our collective acts together and can change our mindsets.
I know, and you know - it's not about the pictures... or about someone else seeing us near-naked... it's about how WE see OURSELVES.
Hugs and love!
Karen
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