I've been hiding... (Long Post)
For the longest time I have been a lurker here on the PA Boards, posting only sporadically. I am a defector from the Delaware Boards since they aren't very active and I long for a place where I can get the support that I need and help others who need support as well. When I found the PA boards I found someplace where I could do that.
Let me give you some background on myself. My name is Kris Lyall and I had Gastric Bypass on September 9, 2009 and to date I have lost 93 pounds. At a starting wight of 376 pounds I am extremely proud of the progress that I have made, even though I still have a long way to go. My reasons for having the surgery are much the same as everyone else's ... I wanted to be healthier, off my medications, and to live a more healthy lifestyle, but I also did it to save the life of my joints. In July of 2003, I had a total left hip replacement after spending 18 years walking with the support of a crutch and a cervical disk replaced and one fused just 2 and a half months before my gastric bypass in September.
At the end of January I went to see my Orthopedic Surgeon for mild hip pain ... not really thinking it was anything serious ... just muscular pain. Well as it turns out it was something. At six and a half years after my initial hip replacement the socket of the replacement has shifted meaning that I will have to have a revision of the hip replacement done. I was in shock ... still am really. Both my hip surgeon and myself knew eventually a revision would have to be done, but neither of us were expecting it at 6 1/2 years. Survival so to speak kicked in and all i could think of was getting it done and getting back on with my life, so on March 19th I will be going in for my revision surgery.
But even though everything is scheduled and at this point I only have one more clearance appointment to go before surgery it seems like I'm mentally back at the beginning. I can't exercise ( I was walking 2+ miles daily) and practically every step I take there is some sort of pain and it only gets worse as the day progresses. Before my initial hip replacement all I did was sit around and watch TV or play on the computer or do some needlework. I was happy with the person that I was becoming after the replacement and the bypass ... and now ... even though I'm physically not that person anymore the baggage that is part of my past is making me feel like I am that old person all over again. A person who is worthless and doesn't deserve the chances that I have been given.
As for the bypass, I am pretty much in survival mode at the moment. I'm eating petty much on schedule but that's about it. My stress level is through the roof and I'm nit-picking and not eating the right things because of the stress. Potato chips have been my best friend. I know they are not good for me and that I shouldn't eat them, but stress is winning out right now. I am pretty much on track with all my meds and vitamins so that's a plus. Luckily I'm still losing, which is a miracle considering my diet at the moment.
So right now I'm looking at 3 weeks til surgery and another 6-8 in recovery after surgery. The goal for the meantime is to take my meds, eat the right type of diet, getting all of my protein in. At this point if I lose any more weight it will be a bonus. I just don't want to gain.
I know that this note was incredibly long and if you have made it this far I appreciate your patience.
Thanks for listening.
Kris from Delaware...
Let me give you some background on myself. My name is Kris Lyall and I had Gastric Bypass on September 9, 2009 and to date I have lost 93 pounds. At a starting wight of 376 pounds I am extremely proud of the progress that I have made, even though I still have a long way to go. My reasons for having the surgery are much the same as everyone else's ... I wanted to be healthier, off my medications, and to live a more healthy lifestyle, but I also did it to save the life of my joints. In July of 2003, I had a total left hip replacement after spending 18 years walking with the support of a crutch and a cervical disk replaced and one fused just 2 and a half months before my gastric bypass in September.
At the end of January I went to see my Orthopedic Surgeon for mild hip pain ... not really thinking it was anything serious ... just muscular pain. Well as it turns out it was something. At six and a half years after my initial hip replacement the socket of the replacement has shifted meaning that I will have to have a revision of the hip replacement done. I was in shock ... still am really. Both my hip surgeon and myself knew eventually a revision would have to be done, but neither of us were expecting it at 6 1/2 years. Survival so to speak kicked in and all i could think of was getting it done and getting back on with my life, so on March 19th I will be going in for my revision surgery.
But even though everything is scheduled and at this point I only have one more clearance appointment to go before surgery it seems like I'm mentally back at the beginning. I can't exercise ( I was walking 2+ miles daily) and practically every step I take there is some sort of pain and it only gets worse as the day progresses. Before my initial hip replacement all I did was sit around and watch TV or play on the computer or do some needlework. I was happy with the person that I was becoming after the replacement and the bypass ... and now ... even though I'm physically not that person anymore the baggage that is part of my past is making me feel like I am that old person all over again. A person who is worthless and doesn't deserve the chances that I have been given.
As for the bypass, I am pretty much in survival mode at the moment. I'm eating petty much on schedule but that's about it. My stress level is through the roof and I'm nit-picking and not eating the right things because of the stress. Potato chips have been my best friend. I know they are not good for me and that I shouldn't eat them, but stress is winning out right now. I am pretty much on track with all my meds and vitamins so that's a plus. Luckily I'm still losing, which is a miracle considering my diet at the moment.
So right now I'm looking at 3 weeks til surgery and another 6-8 in recovery after surgery. The goal for the meantime is to take my meds, eat the right type of diet, getting all of my protein in. At this point if I lose any more weight it will be a bonus. I just don't want to gain.
I know that this note was incredibly long and if you have made it this far I appreciate your patience.
Thanks for listening.
Kris from Delaware...
First off, Congratulations of your weight loss.
Secondly, you deserve happiness.
You will have your surgery , recover and get right back on track. You have put too much into this to sit back and let your old habits take over!
Good luck on your surgery, you will feel so much better when you heal and get right back on track!
You are doing the right thing, keep getting your protein and meds in and you will be fine. Eight weeks is just that, 8 weeks then you can continue your journey as a more healthy you!
Hope this helps...we will all be here for you
Secondly, you deserve happiness.
You will have your surgery , recover and get right back on track. You have put too much into this to sit back and let your old habits take over!
Good luck on your surgery, you will feel so much better when you heal and get right back on track!
You are doing the right thing, keep getting your protein and meds in and you will be fine. Eight weeks is just that, 8 weeks then you can continue your journey as a more healthy you!
Hope this helps...we will all be here for you
Lynn
HW-237/SW-225.8/GW-130
Kris,
Welcome to the PA boards... we certainly won't hold it against you that you're from DE !
And I know it's a hike for you (about an hour) but if you want to attend Barix meetings, you'd be welcome, too!
Congratulations on your success so far - 93 pounds is awesome progress.
Now on to the "serious" stuff. STOP with the potato chips. You're using them as you've described as stress-eating. That's how you got to be 376 pounds in the first place. Allowing those behaviors back in at this point when you're facing a challenge will only make it triply difficult to get rid of them again in the future. You're in your "honeymoon" period with your surgery - the point where the weight will drop off pretty much no matter what you do. But that won't last forever, so the patterns of eating that you establish now will need to be solid for your future.
We all (well, most of us) have our addictions (and I'd personally suggest reading "Anatomy of a Food Addiction" by Anne Katherine - amazing book that really changed my life) and have used them to mask and avoid feeling and dealing with emotions... for some of us (me) that addiction is to sugar and refined carbs, for others it's to fatty foods (potato chips and fried foods)... realizing that this is a recovery process and is very analogous to alcoholism or drug addiction can be a transformation in thinking about how we use certain foods in our lives. Letting those foods back in ("taking one drink") lets them trigger the patterns of chemicals in your brain AND the habitual behaviors that will let others back in, and can derail progress in a big way.
Sorry to go all "tough love" on you in your first post here - but you're facing challenges and I'd really hate to see you go off track after making such amazingly good progress. You already know the answer (or you wouldn't have mentioned the potato chips and how you were eating them)... just keep your eyes on the prizes of less medication and healthier joints!
As to exercise, can you swim in the meantime and in your post-op period? That places no limitations on your joints but is still excellent exercise. I know my mom had aqua therapy after her hip replacements and it was a great option for her.
Anyway, welcome!
Karen
Welcome to the PA boards... we certainly won't hold it against you that you're from DE !
And I know it's a hike for you (about an hour) but if you want to attend Barix meetings, you'd be welcome, too! Congratulations on your success so far - 93 pounds is awesome progress.
Now on to the "serious" stuff. STOP with the potato chips. You're using them as you've described as stress-eating. That's how you got to be 376 pounds in the first place. Allowing those behaviors back in at this point when you're facing a challenge will only make it triply difficult to get rid of them again in the future. You're in your "honeymoon" period with your surgery - the point where the weight will drop off pretty much no matter what you do. But that won't last forever, so the patterns of eating that you establish now will need to be solid for your future.
We all (well, most of us) have our addictions (and I'd personally suggest reading "Anatomy of a Food Addiction" by Anne Katherine - amazing book that really changed my life) and have used them to mask and avoid feeling and dealing with emotions... for some of us (me) that addiction is to sugar and refined carbs, for others it's to fatty foods (potato chips and fried foods)... realizing that this is a recovery process and is very analogous to alcoholism or drug addiction can be a transformation in thinking about how we use certain foods in our lives. Letting those foods back in ("taking one drink") lets them trigger the patterns of chemicals in your brain AND the habitual behaviors that will let others back in, and can derail progress in a big way.
Sorry to go all "tough love" on you in your first post here - but you're facing challenges and I'd really hate to see you go off track after making such amazingly good progress. You already know the answer (or you wouldn't have mentioned the potato chips and how you were eating them)... just keep your eyes on the prizes of less medication and healthier joints!
As to exercise, can you swim in the meantime and in your post-op period? That places no limitations on your joints but is still excellent exercise. I know my mom had aqua therapy after her hip replacements and it was a great option for her.
Anyway, welcome!
Karen
Wow So sorry to hear you are going through all of this. You will get through it. Remeber why you had the bypass and get your head around the fact that your goal is a healthy life. This hip surgery is just a part of that goal. Now put the potato chips down ! That is definately not part of the your goal. I am not saying this is a mean or spiteful way. I am truly concerned and wanting you to get ahold of the bad habits now before they completely take over. You can do this!!! You want to be the strongest you can going into this next surgery. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Maybe try doing some arm workouts, at least that is still moving and burning calories. Please keep coming here for support and post more often. I know from experience that the more you talk about difficult situations with friends it becomes easier. You don't have to face this alone we are all here for you. I will be praying for you and you will be in my thoughts. Hang in there. Belinda
Welcome! Delaware, NJ, Maryland, Florida - we have em all! Cause we rock and you already know that! And a BIG congrats on the 93 pounds thus far!
As you may or may not know depending on how long you have been reading the pa forum, I am a nurse...and I must say - although I understand WHY they did the replacement in the first place, I find it amazing that you found a surgeon to do your hip replacement at your heavy weight. Probably the reason for the need for the revision so soon, as well, due to the extra weight. Be it actual joint replacements or other orthopedic problems, many of us have been there, myself included. At 26 years old I already had arthritic joint changes in my back and knees at my heavy weight. Not a good prognosis considering how young I was and my career.
We also understand stress eating - a lot of us struggle with the same demons.
The only advice I can give you is to change your thinking on this just a little bit. A different spin on it if you will. Consider the fact that you never ever want to have to have another revision done again - and added weight and an unhealthy lifestyle will make a second revision a very real possibility within the next decade. Every time you want to eat those potato chips (throw them out now, by the way, and do NOT allow anyone else in your house to bring them in) ask yourself if that handful of potato chips is worth having another surgery on your hip and facing recovery?
And, BTW, recover and PT after the hip replacement will be a lot of work - and that COUNTS as your exercise. It's not like you won't be doing ANYTHING. In the meantime, can you do things when you sit? Even "little" things add up. Like keeping your arms out to your side (you can add canned goods as weights or things like that) Even putting on a few songs you like and "dancing" with your upper body can work up a sweat. It seems "pointless" at first....but it's movement and without the use of your lower body just quite yet, it's what you NEED to do to stay focused and stay "in the game"
So.....off your pitty pot now and move on to the next stage of successing! We'll help you get through, PROMISE!
As you may or may not know depending on how long you have been reading the pa forum, I am a nurse...and I must say - although I understand WHY they did the replacement in the first place, I find it amazing that you found a surgeon to do your hip replacement at your heavy weight. Probably the reason for the need for the revision so soon, as well, due to the extra weight. Be it actual joint replacements or other orthopedic problems, many of us have been there, myself included. At 26 years old I already had arthritic joint changes in my back and knees at my heavy weight. Not a good prognosis considering how young I was and my career.
We also understand stress eating - a lot of us struggle with the same demons.
The only advice I can give you is to change your thinking on this just a little bit. A different spin on it if you will. Consider the fact that you never ever want to have to have another revision done again - and added weight and an unhealthy lifestyle will make a second revision a very real possibility within the next decade. Every time you want to eat those potato chips (throw them out now, by the way, and do NOT allow anyone else in your house to bring them in) ask yourself if that handful of potato chips is worth having another surgery on your hip and facing recovery?
And, BTW, recover and PT after the hip replacement will be a lot of work - and that COUNTS as your exercise. It's not like you won't be doing ANYTHING. In the meantime, can you do things when you sit? Even "little" things add up. Like keeping your arms out to your side (you can add canned goods as weights or things like that) Even putting on a few songs you like and "dancing" with your upper body can work up a sweat. It seems "pointless" at first....but it's movement and without the use of your lower body just quite yet, it's what you NEED to do to stay focused and stay "in the game"
So.....off your pitty pot now and move on to the next stage of successing! We'll help you get through, PROMISE!
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
I ditto the welcomes and hope that your hip surgery goes well. congrats on your weight loss. Its a great accoplishment. find support somewhere. that is the big key!!! get a buddy that you can call when your tempted or just post here... we will give you encouragment. don't have the temptations in the house.
You can do this and I wish you luck
You can do this and I wish you luck
Sandra 
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