OT-Feeling so sad...

you posted this thread because you need support.  You absolutely did the right thing.  That's what we are here for.  Don't ever question why you would put something on here.  There's always a reason.  You never have to validate it.

BIG HUGS to you, Shilpa - I clearly remember you going through that difficult time and decision and I understand why you're having the feelings you are. No one can take those feelings from you or make them go away except you...maybe seeing a counselor or professional would help?

Its hard not to second guess major life decisions such as those but you have to trust your heart and know you did the right thing for you, the baby, and the rest of your family. You knew if you had to devote so much time to the new child with special needs you wouldn't be able to devote as much time to your other children, who need you desparately as well.

When I gave Kim up for adoption I was also riddled with guilt - what kind of person would give their baby away? But I also lived with the knowledge that at that time I would not have been a good mother - I could not offer my child the life she deserved - and because of that I did what was best for both of us and that was to give her a better life and a 'whole' family. Trust me, at times I still feel tinges of guilt for not having raised her, but I know in my heart it was the best thing for us.

Many hugs and prayers are coming your way - please, please do not be sad...you have two beautiful children and a wonderful husband - you have your health and can now do so many things with them as a family. Focus on the good things...try to let go of the sad ones.

Shilpa you are gallant and unafraid. Your courage always shines through here and when you're with us. Support can help and heal and it starts with opening up to your group of family, friends and supporters. You have always done that and we hope you always will. We all need to remember to be gallant and unafraid by sharing with those that care.
We care.
Hope to see you tonight.

Dennis

Shilpa,
Just as found in spirit of Dennis' statment, you can be made stronger by the support of those around you.  When you ask for help from those you trust, you become stronger.  When you lean on us you will find strength.  In time, you will find the beauty in the statement "you lean on me and I will lean back".  Find the visual of that statement and you will see that we support each other and no one is allowed to fall.
When you make life altering decisions, they are never easy.  You will find that those decisions take time to heal, take time to grieve and take time to remember.  
Take the TIME NOW.  Take the support.
We love you Shilpa.

~Shauna 

{{{{Shilpa}}}  Every year on Valentine's Day I get a little sad because it is the day I lost my first child in an ectopic pregnancy.  It took me years to even recognize why I got depressed at that time of year.  You are ahead of the game because you recognize the significance of the date, and you came here to seek support.  A couple of years ago I gave my baby a name, Christian Russell Anderson, and planted a lovely lilac bush in his honor.  Now when February 14 comes around, I recognize that there will be a little sadness, but after 26 years, the pain is a lot less and I finally addressed the issues surrounding that pregnancy and loss. 

You have a right to feel your feelings and know that emotional healing takes time.  You may never get over it, but you'll learn to live with it.  We know that all is forgiven.  I think forgiving ourselves is the hardest part. 

Shilpa all the reasons you had to make the decision you did. have not changed and are still as valid now. No one thinks you made that decision lightly. we care about you and want you to know you are loved and that we understand

Shilpa,

Pain shared is a burden eased... you're surrounded by friends and family who grieve with you and love you.  All we can do in life is take each day as something special and to work through the challenges that day presents us with the information we have available to us.  You made a difficult decision after significant thought and prayer and agony...  but you made the decision you needed to make.  That doesn't take the pain away or lessen the sense of loss, but it should give you reassurance over time.  Time will help you gain perspective and will dull some of the very sharp pain you're feeling now. 

Hugs to you. 

Karen

Shilpa,
A good friend tells me that love doubles the joy and divides the grief, so by sharing your pain with us here, you have given us the opportunity to help lighten your burden of pain a little.

Nothing I can say can heal your heart, but I know that God can, and will.  Cry as you need to and share your feelings each day with us.  

Hugs,
Trish
 

You are here because you know we love you and will always be here for you.  We send you lots and lots of hugs and kisses.  Take care.

Shilipa, I'm so sorry.  Please give yourself time to grieve and to heal.  Time is a big part of it, but so is allowing yourself to do whatever you need to do (whether talk or take time alone) to recover.  I kept that sort of grief down for many years and it affected my life in awful ways, so you really must see it through, let it run its course, in order to move past it.

Can I suggest you attempt some sort of personal letting go ritual?  Perhaps go somewhere that has a spiritual connection for you - maybe an empty beach or the like - and have a talk with your child.  Express your love, tell him that while he is always welcome to visit you, that he can move on, that you release him...think about it.  It could help.

Big hugs,

Lisa