my ramble vent .. blahhh moment
then at 11:45 which was probably too soon I had a tuna sub from subway a friend brought being nice.. it was jsut plain tuna with a lil mustard .. now I should have used a fork but i wanted some bread.. now soo far I feel fine I only ate a few bites I ate slowly and did not over eat. I know we shouldnt do soft bread at this stage and be very limited with it. I am taken the rest home and givine to my kids so I don't eat .. I just feel guilty,..
I am not even sure if I really messed u*****t that is the other hard thing.. I know I am less then a month out I just really want to get on a scheld- and do this thing right.. I am soo afraid of failing.. I havent been able to do my 20 mins of walking with all this snow , and too be honest I still feel blahh all the time not sure if I could.. I am thinking today is the day when I get home which will be soon.. I turn the dang Wii on and put Jillian michaels in and let her kick my butt.. I know in order to lose the weight I not only have to eat right but my big ole butt needs to move..
I am so happy about the 30lbs I have lost but being this heavy I havent even gone down a size in clothing jsut frustrating,. I know it takes time give it time LOL..
I am sorry this was just a ramble a vent someplace to let it out.. you don't even have to respond if you don't want.. LOL thanks for listening
1. You should feel guilty. If you're not suppsed to beaeating bread at this stage, DON'T EAT BREAD.
2. If you want to get on a schedule. get a notebook or a planner and start writing down everything. What you eat, when you eat it, and when you are exercising. You are exercising, right?
3. Guess what? There's nothing wrong with fear of failure. People fail their surgeries everyday. Don't want to be a failure? FOLLOW THE RULES.
This is your honeymoon period, the period during which you can lose the most amount of weight in the fastest possible time. Your goal at this time should be 100% compliance with every rule you've been given. This is when it is EASIEST to lose. If you don't get your head in the game, and take responsibility for your schedule, and your eating, and your exercise, I promise you that you will crying tears of regret later on down the road when you see the opportunity you've wasted.
and writing down everything I eat is something I need to start doing I am not overeating.. I just felt bad for giving in to a lil bread and for eating so close in time to the snack before..
I have not started exercising yet, I am to be doing 20mins of walking - so I have been doing that not regularly.. so today I have made the committment I will either do 20mins on my treadmill or jillian michaels on my Wii .. daily - and once I have lost more weight then I will look for a gym to go to, and this summer I would like to do water aerobics .. ( the only pools near us are outdoors) .
Thank you for giving me the reality check not that I think I have fallen off the wagon I amm way hard on myself even for lil things..
I am not going to waste this honeymoon period I paid cash for this surgery with my mother lifeinsurance... and I need to do this for myself and everyone that loves and cares about me,...
Off schedule? Maybe for an hour or so, but not for the whole day.
The idea of being "off" for the day is out the window, my friend. You still have plenty of day left to be back on track. So start now.
It DOES take planning and energy to get it all in place, and you are only 1 month out. You are still working it out - it takes time. But even once you have it down - it DOES take the planning and energy, FOREVER. Just read the posts about how some long term WLS'ers plan for what to eat when they travel, when there is a family event, when they have a business event to attend, when there is company coming, when it's a holiday, when...when...when...when....
NONE of it is automatic. I think it gets a little easier, but always takes commitment to taking care of ourselves.
Now let's talk about the sub. I'm assuming that this person knows you had WLS - and if I am wrong, I'm going off on a tangent here. But my question is: Why on God's green earth would a "friend" who knows you are just fresh off out of surgery bring you a sub? Was this a "nice" thing to do, or was this sabatoge? Was it a sort of "test" so this friend could see if you really are serious about all of this? Yikes, let this person know that next time, they can pick up some SF popsicles, or some bubble bath or something.
Was the tuna plain or the regular Subway tuna/mayo mix? Tuna is not one of their healthier choices - granted you didn't eat the entire thing, but here is what you were looking at:
Nutrition Facts
Serving Size: 1 6-inch sub / 250g
| Amount per Serving | |||
|
|||
| % Daily Value * | |||
| Total Fat 31g | 48% | ||
| Saturated Fat 7g | 35% | ||
| Trans Fat 1g | |||
| Cholesterol 45mg | 15% | ||
| Sodium 1030mg | 43% | ||
| Total Carbohydrate 45g | 15% | ||
| Dietary Fiber 4g | 16% | ||
| Sugars 7g | |||
| Protein 22g | 44% | ||
| Vitamin A | 8% |
| Vitamin C | 30% |
| Calcium | 10% |
| Iron | 30% |
As for the bread - what worries me here is that your comment was "I wanted some bread." That is EXACTLY the thinking that got us to that place of morbid obesity. There is a big difference between mentally "wanting" something - which we all do, I'm sure - and actually eating it. Took me a LONG time to figure out in my head, and I'm just now able to put it into practice since my surgery. The big insight for me has been:
WANTING SOMETHING DOES NOT EQUATE TO EATING IT. I CAN WANT SOMETHING AND NOT EAT IT.
I can THINK ABOUT a certain food and not be compelled to EAT it.
The only person who makes me eat something is ME.
It's a head game. And one BIG part of the head game is acknowledging to yourself that you DESERVE to treat yourself well by eating those foods that SUPPORT your recovery and your plan - not undermine it or compromise your success.
Again, does it ever become automatic? I'm not sure. I do know that I am addicted to food, and that refined carbs and sugar have the potential to set me off like there's no tomorrow. I do not eat either of these, beyond the very small amount of sugar per serving as allowed by my dr. I know that if I eat those foods, I will only WANT more. It's not temptation. It's addiction for me, and I cannot and will not play with it.
Let me share a thought from one of the support group leaders at the hospital where I had my surgery. She says, "We have spent a lifetime making our own rules about what we will eat....what we put into our bodies. Our rules haven't worked. We are now committing to following the rules set forth by a surgeon. We have to commit to following those rules for our own health and well being."
I urge you to get back on track now - it's only 2:30 in the afternoon!
I urge you to review your eating plan this afternoon - and follow it to a "T".
I urge you to toss the rest of the subway. It's just a sandwich. Your kids will live without it and probably don't want a "used" tuna sandwich anyway. It's okay to toss extra food that you are not going to eat.
I urge you to commit - NOW - to giving yourself the care and love you deserve, even for the rest of this day.
The fear is real. We have all failed many, many times. You are just learning to treat yourself well in ways that do not involve food. This early out, the learning curve is steep and it's a difficult climb. Thank you for posting and please let us know how you are doing later on or tomorrow.
I understand your comment about me wanting the bread and not turning it away , my friend meant no harm she assumed I would eat the tuna out of it, we know the owners and they got out tuna and put light mayo in it just for me adn the only other thing on it was mustard.. because I didnt measure I cant tell you exactly what I ate, but it was 3 small bites probably one small slice .. my lil one ate the sub when I brought it home so I didnt have to worry about it at that point..
I have been doing well, seeing people eat things does not bother me I rarely crave anything.. with the bread it was just a matter of wanting a real sandwich - and thinking a lil bite wasnt going to hurt.. but I know carbs and breads are a weakness from the past.. so I am not going to allow them into my diet again until I Have reached some of my weight goals..
I am very proud of myself casue I didnt allow it to ruin the rest of my day and give me permission to do whatever I want and eat for the rest of the day..
thanks again for allowing me to express how I feel... and being supportive - I know almost everyone has probably been in my spot and had these feelings... I hope they can learn from me.. cause I have learned soo much for others...
I'm 2.5 weeks out from surgery and read your post with interest. From the day I came home from the hospital, I have measured every bite I've taken, and it's helping me to stay on track. I bought two scales from Amazon, I think they are made by Escali, one for my kitchen, and a tiny one that is portable that I took to the office. I have cute little measuring glasses and cups. I don't eyeball anything. NOTHING goes in me that hasn't been measured in some way and recorded in my journal, the contents of which I put into the realizemysuccess website every night.
I think there are more benefits to doing this than are on the surface.
I've found that I really can't tell whether I'm hungry or not at this stage. I still like to eat, I know that for sure, but I'm figuring that if I don't follow the guidelines to the letter now, that it will get easier and easier to break the "rules" down the road. I'm counting on the fact that the work I'm putting in now will pay off later.
I didn't expect to be craving things, but I do. It's easy to say no at this stage, because I'm still working my way through purees, and frankly, giving in to cravings is what put me in the position of having to go to a doctor to undergo major surgery to rearrange my innards. I remind myself of that every day, every hour. We spent a lot of time and resources preparing for this and it would be a huge waste to do anything but what the doctor tells us to do.
I think I wrote this more for me, than for you but I hope you find something helpful in it.
Be well,
Elizabeth
Get into failsafe habits NOW so further down the road you don't have to think about it AS much (you still ALWAYS have to think about your choices at least a little)
When there are times that I "want" something "real" (IE a "real" sandwhich) I remind myself that getting to my high weight was partially because I had consumed MORE than enough "real" things which got me to that predicament in the first place.
The lifestyle change of "living to eat" vs "eating to live" is a long and challenging one. You won't always be perfect...but you NEED to be damn close to perfect this early out. An occassional day of missing fluids by a bit or so won't kill you....but not getting on a schedule, not logging food, and having "just a bite" of things will kill the progress your tool can give you very quickly, either now or 3 years down the road.
