What is your self care ritual?

I just have to say - I was SHOCKED by your post.....more specifically about how you dressed pre op.  One of the things I have always admired about you is your sense of style and how "put together" you look every time I see you.  I would have SWORN you had been doing it for your whole life!  Kudos woman!

Wow - thank you, Pam.  It's a daily effort - sometimes accompanied by much cursing and flailing, asking my daughter for advice, looking through catalogs and magazines, etc. to figure out what one is "supposed" to do with a scarf, etc.  Certainly doesn't come naturally at this point, and is definitely a point of fear every time I put on something "new" (new = a different style for me, a bright color, etc.).

Karen

Funny you bring this up!

Just recently I had a mary kay consult.  I had used mary kay quite a number of years ago and had stopped due to multiple reasons and my skin paid for it.  I was still wearing makeup - but it was about 2 years old, did not wash my face after work or whatever and basically have had NO self care with the exception of a daily shower and my eating routine, which has been less than stellar the past week anyway.

So...now I make sure I wash my face two times a day - once when I wake up and once before I go to bed.  I use the moisturizer, two different ones at the moment and take some time for myself both before and after work.  The other night I was exhausted and almost didn't...just wanted to "fall into bed" if you will - but I did it anyway and I must say - I was glad I did.  it cost me a pretty penny to buy all new stuff and what not - but my skin is showing improvement.

The past year or so I would also wear basically foundation as makeup for work.  I had gotten into the mind set of "who cares anyway"  Since my consult I am making an effort to wear my foundation, blush, mascara and most nights eye liner and/or lipstick.  I must say - it makes a difference.  It does take a few extra minutes but nothing earth shattering.

Things I need to get back into:

Exercise.  I've been lacking and saying I'm gonna do something about it and haven't.  No more excuses.

Time alone or with my girlfriends.  Very rarely when not at work do I spend time away from Brian, and I need to go out more without him.  I need to make sure my life simply does not revolve around him or my job.

Reading.  I used to LOVE to read and haven't really done so since..sheesh...Brian and I started dating I guess.  To the point that when people ask me "what do you like to read" I really don't have an answer for them
 

I loved reading other people's ideas as well.  During the summer I go and get pedicures done...but my feet are so awful - that might start up a little early (IE FRIDAY, lol)

Nicole, I just read a post on another board (main board? RNY? not sure...) which talks about self care.

The poster was at her goal, but suddenly realized she was up 8 lbs. She got on the treadmill, and on reflection saw that her earlier resolutions to "take care of herself" had fallen by the wayside.

She wasn't buying nice things for herself, wasn't taking time to exercise....you get the picture.

She was renewing her commitment to at least 30 min. per day for her own self care.

A lesson for us all....the need to care for ourselves doesn't go away just because we look better.

Great topic.. My new one for me is the gym.  I know it may sound like it at first but here is my reasons why.

When I get home from work I am stressed.  I have my lovely little toddler to play with but still no time alone.  The gym = Austin bear gets to play at the Y with friends and I get complete Me time.  Just to destress and watch some TV or listen to some music with just me.  No having to do chores, do work or anything else.. And when Im done with my workout I get a nice hot shower and I'm ready to begin my night routine. 

Nicole your post really struck a cord with me...as most of you know my mother lives with my husband and I and in the past 4 years her health has continued to fail. She's not an invalid by any means but she has given up driving, my siblings have all retired and moved away, so her daily care is totally dependent on my husband and I, and he's no youngster either - and we both work full time. So taking care of a house, her, and a husband and dog leaves little time for myself and that's not a good thing.

Since the only thing my mother still can do around the house is cook dinner for us I'm hesitant to take that away from her because it makes her feel useful and needed, although I tend to do the weekend cooking to give her a break, but I'm finding myself not eating the best diet at night because she's Pennsylvania dutch and has never cooked in a real healthy fashion (which explains why me and all my siblings were obese - or at least one contributing factor). I'm also finding myself giving in to her and my husband on 'relaxing' and watching TV - and that leads to snacking and lack of exercise.

I do things like getting my nails done every few weeks but lately my big treat to myself has been taking a day to do some retail therapy, which is hurting the pocketbook pretty bad now, and honestly the good feeling doesn't last long and I'm buying stuff I don't need.

So today I am going to take time to write in my journal (something I've neglected far too long) and come up with a game plan to start taking time for myself - exercise - listen to music - READ - I haven't sat and read a book in ages and I love to read.

So thank you for reminding me that now more than ever I need some type of self-care ritual to continue not only my weight loss journey but to maintain my overall mental health as well...

Kathy

Y'know - on reflection it seems like a very common personality trait among many of us is that we put ourselves AFTER others.  We're care-givers by nature and put the needs of others before our own needs.  While that may sound all noble and stuff, it can be taken to an extreme that is unhealthy, where we feel guilty for spending time/money/effort on ourselves. 

Some questions:

* In volunteer organizations (and work settings) are you the one who gets called on to "get things done" because you're always "reliable" and involved?  
* Are you the mom who's ALWAYS involved in your kids' activities (helping to run them in some way) - helping at every swim meet/bake sale/play/event?  
* Are you the one who drives your kids everywhere (and frequently other peoples' kids too) and do you feel horrible about asking someone else to drive, even if you're laid up in bed with the flu? 
* Do you find yourself frequently deferring to others with regard to where to eat out?  What to watch on TV? 
* Do you find yourself doing things that need to get done even if you really don't have time to do them "just because" they need to get done and you know that if you do them, they'll get done "right"?

Perhaps that's a defining component for some of us? I'm definitely thinking that about myself... I can answer YES to all of the above.  I think there's a definite connection between feeling like I need to "pull my weight" (manifested by the above checklist) and feeling guilty for caring for myself, thus neglecting some important aspects of "me."

Karen

I love everyone's post here. In the past I have resisted the Distraction techniques that WW and other diets have proposed to get me through a craving. They give you a list of things to do, like do some housework, brush your teeth, paint your nails. call some one etc. I resisted them because I did not like the distraction peice of it.

What I can get with now, is that doing something FOR MYSLEF. LOving and Nurturing for myself instead of eating I get. When I want food, it is usually that I want comfort, a break. a transitional activity....rarely is it food. So loving myself through a craving or emotions  with self care I cab get behind because it is deep and not TRITE 

Perfectly said

My issues with transfer addiction has really led to a good development of self-care, self-evaluation techniques that really help me cope in the day-to-day.  I ride the train to work and take that time for a morning meditation.  I think about the upcoming 24 hours.  I ask my Higher Power (God) to keep my thinking divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.  I note that today I may face indecision, may not be able to determine which course to take.  In such cases I ask for inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision.  I review what I will do that day, which usually includes work, a plan of what and when to eat, what I'm cooking for dinner, any after work activities (meetings, errands), a shower, a phone call to someone, and journaling.  At the end of the meditation I tell God that I want Him to have all of me, good and bad.  I ask that he remove my character defects so that I can be of some use to Him and other people.  Then I try to live by my plan. 

At the end of the day I do a review.  I love this part.  I ask myself:  What did I do right today.  There's actually usually plenty!  I didn't drink; I worked hard; I spent time with my kids, etc.  Where did I blow it?  Usually that has something to do with eating something off my plan.  Do I need to forgive anyone?  Do I owe anyone an apology?

Those meditations set up and end my day on a good note.  I don't beat myself up for things I didn't accomplish, and I get to pat myself on the back for the things I did accomplish. 

I guess the things I do specifically for self-care include journaling, attending 12-step meetings, and attending church.  I'm getting better at putting at least those things in front of demands made by my children.