OT Need Good Thoughts

pieparty
on 2/3/10 12:44 am - Milroy , PA
How devastating. I am heartbroken for your friend and her family. Many prayers are being sent for them, and for you. I have a son who is bipolar. He was diagnosed at age 12. He had symptoms from age 4 or 5. He is stable now and has been for  awhile but recently stopped taking his meds. I am worried sick about him. Something like your friend is going through is a mother's worst nightmare. I truly believe though that she did the right thing by protecting herself and her other children and calling the police. I have told my son for a long time that is what I would do if I ever felt he was out of control. The police over reacted. Please reassure her that this isn't her fault. In my humble opinion she made the right choice.
kgoeller
on 2/3/10 2:17 am - Doylestown, PA
Nicole,

A friend here had virtually the same thing happen with her son this past summer.  He was in a manic state and had supposedly threatened a girl he knew in the mall, then ran away, was cornered by police in the nearby woods and shot and killed.  Her family has gone through hell as the media played it out in a variety of ways, and I'm sure that the police officer also has gone through a terrible time.   NAMI was of course very vocal about the police having "done the wrong thing" but he had threatened them and they didn't know if he was armed, so they didn't seem to have much choice.  They would have no way of knowing the illness background, either.  So it's just a terrible situation all-round.

One of my best friends is bipolar and my husband is also, so I've seen it first-hand.  It's not an easy path to walk and it's both scary and unfortunate that these events do happen.  It doesn't help that the media sprays disinformation and misinformation and fosters misunderstanding of the illness, either.

My deepest sympathies go out to your friend and her family.  I hope she has good, supportive resources in her local community (such as a NAMI chapter) who can help to shelter the family from some of the media backlash and general nastiness, as well as provide them with a truly understanding ear during this horrible time.

Karen


Nicole0216
on 2/3/10 2:25 am - Lancaster, PA
thanks Karen. It is getting pretty awful, now they have released the 911 and police radio dispatch audio. It is heart breaking. They are targeting his family and his mh hx and criminal record and using it as justification. I am not sure what to do for them.
kgoeller
on 2/3/10 2:30 am - Doylestown, PA
All you CAN do for them is offer them support and "normality" when everything around them is changing.  They will find (unfortunately) that some people around them will buy into the hype and will ostracize them or change their behavior around them.  The people who stand by them, realize that they are "just the same" as always, and still love them will be their strength in the days to come.  If they have someone OUTSIDE the family who can act as a spokesperson for the family, that will help, too - they need to be kept out of the spotlight and shielded as much as possible in the next few weeks - they will have enough to deal with from the legal angle later.  Right now they have to let the media hype die down.

Karen
Nicole0216
on 2/3/10 2:33 am - Lancaster, PA
I think i will contact the local NAMI office and see if there is anything they can do thanks
jennmomof4
on 2/3/10 7:36 am
I am so sorry for their loss.. I have a bi-polar daughter who is only 10 now and I can't even imagine.. I know how hard it is and I worry about when she gets older..

it is such ashamed they decided to shoot first....
  
Nicole0216
on 2/4/10 12:22 am - Lancaster, PA
Karen wanted to update you and say thank you for the advice. I spoke with the NC President of NAMI this am and he said he had heard of the story and was interested in providing support, and advocacy for the family so that they would have a voice. So I gave Chrissy his phone number and she and her husband will call this afternoon. I think they are in good hands with him
kgoeller
on 2/4/10 1:21 am - Doylestown, PA
Nicole - so glad that it was helpful.  I pray that they can find some island of peace in this mess. 

Karen
EileenWalton
on 2/3/10 2:51 am
This is a very sad story, Nicole.  I pray the family will find some comfort knowing they have family and friends who support them.
Eileen

FastFingers ~*~
on 2/3/10 4:29 am
Sending lots of positive vibes to you and this poor family.  I hope that they will somehow be able to find peace in their hearts after this tragedy.

                                   Flying Spagetti Monster

"Doubt everything.  Find your own light."
--
Last words of Gautama Buddha, in Theravada tradition

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