An interesting admission

Some of you have met my boyfriend, Paul, and know that he's been my biggest cheerleader since my surgery.  He's been very happy with the results and the fact that I'll probably be around longer now that I'm getting healthier.  Tonight at dinner, he admitted something which I found very interesting.  He was saying that he likes the new me but that he misses the old me too.  I asked him if he misses his eating buddy, and he said yes.  I think it's hard for him when I'm trying to figure out what I can eat when we're in a restaurant.  And he always liked to give me bites of his dinner to try.  I know overall, Paul is extremely happy that I had wls and he's been very helpful and supportive.  I guess it makes me a little sad that he misses his eating buddy and the days when we didn't have to worry about anything but what would give me heartburn.

I think that is awesome that he told you that though. 

Iagree, Sandra! He's really happy that I had the surgery and am getting healthy. I think he just misses when we didn't have to pay close attention to everything.

Chris admitted to me early out too that sometimes he missed the "old me" it was easier back then. But you know what - the further out you get the more "Regular" you get as it all becomes habit and it's the new normal.

He's a keeper for sure! Kudos to him for being so honest.

Sometimes I think its harder for those closest to us to accept the changes than it is for us to accept them. My husband has never said anything but my mom has made comments and so have some siblings but I tell them all not to look at what I can't do anymore - look and see all the wonderful things I can do now.

Your boyfriend does get brownie points for his honesty but I'm sure he's enjoying how much more you can do with him now outside of eating. And he'll get used to the new you.

Paul is DEFINATELY not alone!  Brian has made some big admissions to me over the years.  He fully admits that although he loved me when I was heavy, and he LOVES me now, and he "likes" the way I look now (especially all dolled up) that, in  his eyes, my "perfect" weight was 170.  I hover around 135/140 now, and he knows I like it there.

He misses his eating buddy, too.  Gone are the days where I buy tons of junk food and just sit on the couch watching  movies cramming crap into my face.  Sometimes, those nights were AWESOME, don't get me wrong.

Also, he used to tell me I need to "get out more" and "have more friends or girl nights" and now my schedule is so full, he asks me when I'm gonna just sit and relax.  I remind him HE wanted me to be more social, lol

Like Liz said...as time goes by, it gets easier, especially at restaurants.  And although the WLS food police would write me a rap sheet ten miles long, I am still known for taking a bite of his food when we go out.  Something  ridiculous in carbs and fat that i would never ever order let alone be able to eat (fetuccini alfredo shall we say?) I will take a forkful.  It keeps me satisfied, and we still have fun together.

And yes, it's AWESOME that you guys have that communication ability.  Problems would definately arise if you didn't.

Pam

It is a difficult transition. My ex-husband is my EX, LOL, so we don't discuss those things, but my oldest kids are old enough to remember the "old" me and they often times say they miss the old me. And when they express it, it's usually about food. They recall going to fast food joints or different things we used to do that revolved around food.

And me being the junk food police I am now, the often think back to the days when I found it acceptable for us to eat a bag of chips at one sitting while watching TV.

However, they will also admit they appreciate that I care about what they eat, even though they don't always like it. And they definately like the new mom much better.

Over time, it will seem more normal that abnormal.

Here is a strange scenario, while in Florida during New Years, my cousins wife was freaking out because she didn't know what kind of food to have in the house for me.  Her fear was screwing up my success.  I explained to her low carb, low fat, low calorie.  She drew a blank.  So I did the food shopping for the week and cooked for them.  They were shocked that everything I made was good and fit into their idea of what a meal should be or at least it wasn't anything alien to them.  So the point is, when you substitute the lower fat versions of everything for the regular stuff, people don't feel deprived since they really can't taste much of a difference since they weren't the ones cooking it, they don't know which ingredients were subbed out.  He will soon come to the realization that the only that has changed is the quantity and indulging of empty calories.  All in all, he is a keeper. 

Yeah, he is a keeper.  He's sooo much happier with the new me.  He laughs that I can out-walk him now when we go for a walk, that I don't struggle on the stairs anymore, that I fit through smaller spaces now (like between tables in a restaurant.)  I have to give him tons of credit for being so supportive right from the start.  He's never been a fan of sugar free anything, but he's willing to try/eat a lot of the foods.  (His favorites?  Pam's apple crisp recipe and Liz's oatmeal raisin cookies.)

I have to admit that I sometimes miss being able to just eat anything I wanted whenever.  But I'm much happier with the new me too.   And I'm really not missing out on anything now---I eat well and can physically do so much more.