***FRIGID FRIDAY ROLL CALL***

Thanks - I've seen Under Our Skin.  It's wonderful, though frightening and difficult.  I think everyone should see it.

I found it interesting how Dr. Daly has to do alot of his treatment "under the radar" due to Lyme's Disease not being treated the way it should be. I felt proud that we have a doc in our area *****cognizes it, yet sad that it is not "medically accepted trestment" in the vast majority of physicians practices.

Sadly, most docs seem to be very under-educated when it comes to Lyme.  The first test given, the Elisa, is highly unreliable, notorious - among those who know - for false-negatives.  And if it comes back negative, no further testing is done.  Such a shame - if caught right away, Lyme can be treated with 3-6 weeks antibiotics.  Give it a little time to drill into the tissues, organs, etc., and it can take months or years, depending how long it went untreated.  Lots of patients are diagnosed with other things, like MS or RA or Lupus.  Lyme mimics these and other diseases.

We who have found a good doctor won't even mention her or his name in a public forum!

Lisa

Well I'm here in jersey and it is no warmer here, lemme tell you! Good news, though, I needed gas and probably the only real good thing about jersey is I got to stay in  my car while someone else pumped it for me.  Oh, and it costs less here, too!

Paying bills which is always so NOT fun.  However, LVH FINALLY got my bonus check to me which was just about a month late, so that really helped.  Not so much tightness in this pay period.

Hanging out at my parents house - need to call my grandparents either today or tomorrow about plans for tomorrow night.  Also want to call hubby just to be the annoying clingy wife and say hello.

Then it's bed, and actually, BOTH of my brothers and the one girlfriend will be home and available this evening, and my parents are down in NC today, so me, the girlfriend, and the two boys are going to dinner.  SHOCKING I tell you, absolutely SHOCKING

Back to work tonight 11p-7a (last night was 9p to 7a and normally @ LVH I work 12 hour shifts, so tonight should be a cake walk for me!), and then back to the parents house in the morning.  Generally I would go home, but there is a family  party at a cousins house in the area tomorrow evening, so I'm spending the day here, and then going to the party tomorrow night.

Enjoy and TRY to stay warm.  It's VERY hard to do, though!

Pam

Ok all you moms and dads out there who also work full time - how the hell do you get it all done??!!  I have sooo much going on at the same time I really don't know where to start!   I have had something that needed to be done EVERY night for the last two weeks.  My next week is looking just as crazy and I don't know if there is anything that I can cut from it.  With my kids and all their activities and Larry and his schedule and working overtime - we really need the money - it has been absolutely insane in my house.  I am NOT a night person, so even though I may be home by 9:30, 10ish, I don't have the energy, nor would I be productive, to get anything done at that time of the day.  I then spend my hours when my brain is actually functioning at work, which is important, then I rush home to spend a few moments with the kids and their homework before  I turn around and have to rush out again for either a doctors appointment, hair appointment, meeting, whatever, for me and the kids.  The food has not been great - not awful, but certainly not great - popcorn, pretzels and the like - again, not totally out of control, but a habit I really don't want to find myself in again.  I did make it to the pool on Monday and am scheduled to go again this evening, so I am hoping that will help with my energy - even though it will take some time to rebuild my stamina.

So - didn't mean to rant on here - just am feeling overwhelmed with everything and needed to get it out of my system - when I talk with Larry - and I do - he feels it too and I know he feels bad about his schedule, but he loves his job and there is nothing he can do about changing his schedule for another two years and I know he only wants to make me happy.  UGH!  Then I want to talk about it with my colleagues at school and we have sooo much pressure going on here - that they are feeling it too and the education system is sooo broken that we have students - wonderful students - who have to take more and more standardized tests - take their time, work hard and still don't pass - and then end up crying about it - it is ridiculous that 13 and 14 year old children should feel soooo badly about themselves because they don't test well!!!  UGH!!!!

Anyway - I can't go on anymore becuase I have to get my day started!  Wor****il 3:15, home to pack Molly for a Girl Scout weekend camping trip - hopefully to organize the cookies at home - then to the pool then home and evening is up in the air - I need to get things done at home however I don't have the energy and therefore want to get out to play Mah Jongg with girlfriends.  UGH!!!!!  I need a recess!!!!!

Steffi,

Been there, done that, got a drawerful of t-shirts to prove it. 

All I can say is that learning how to say NO (nicely) became an important skill I had to develop.  There were (many) times I had to learn to tell the kids "I'm sorry - I know you want to do such and such, but I cannot take you.  Find a ride with someone else or you can't go."  Ditto with some other things - learning to say "no" sucked.  Felt like the "failed mom" for saying that, but rationally realized that feeing into the supermom myth was just killing me and totally unreachable.    Didn't totally resolve the stress, just changed it into a different kind of stress, but it made aspects of life more manageable. 

List the things competing for your time.  Be as specific as possible.  Label each item with a key: 

*  Necessary for ME to do it,
*  Necessary for "someone" to do it,
*  Nice for me to do it,
*  Nice for someone to do it,
*  Unnecessary.   

Be really honest about the distinction between the things that YOU must personally do that no one else CAN do, and the things that someone else can do.  For the things that someone else can do (especially the necessary ones), list the people who are qualified to do it.  You now have a list of the things you can say "no" to, and a list of who you can redirect inquiries to for the various things.  Post it somewhere as a reminder to yourself and use it when you get overwhelmed.

Schedule time for YOU just as rigorously as you schedule time for the kids, Larry, girl scouts, school, and whatnot.  You are at least as important and if your health isn't a priority, you won't be able to be there as much to help THEM...   And time for you means:  time to exercise, time to plan your meals for the week, time to just "be" (with the doors locked and phones turned off and an absolutely inviolate "do not disturb" sign on the door - even for just 10 minutes!).  Caring for others starts with caring for yourself.  It's a case where it really NEEDS to be "all about you"!

Hugs. 

Karen

I really do think that I say no when I need to - a lot of this stuff is necessary stuff - with the exception of maybe the girl scout cookies - all the rest of it is necessary.  However, I will do what you suggest I do with the lists and REALLY be honest about it.  The other issue is the pleasure I get from doing some of these things that maybe are not necessary but are good for the community and therefore for my family as well.  Again, I will sit down sometime this weekend and figure it out.  I did start scheduling time for me with Larry last week and that is how I got to the pool on Monday and will again tonight and tomorrow.  He really is wonderful and I hate dumping on him because I know he had NOTHING to do with the crazy schedule he has - And, I CERTAINLY do not blame him at all, but he feels bad which then makes me feel bad for *****ing and moaning.  But he is my best friend and sometimes you just need to vent to your best friend right??!!

Thanks for always giving me support when I need it and a kick in the ass also - I know that this time in my life will pass and I will miss the days when "my kids were little and had a million activities" but while I am living in the moment, I am just so tired!

Thanks again!

Honestly? Next time let someone else have the "opportunity" to be cookie mom.

You sound so much like I was as my kids grew up. I actually taught full time and was the GS leader (co led with another overachieving teacher mom). I was really active in professional organizations and took pride in doing many things all at once and doing them all well.

And you know what?

I ended up miserable, exhausted, in a bad marriage, and weighing 258 pounds.

I absolutely hear you - but to be honest - the cookies are such a minor headache compared toeverything else.  I think that maybe I have spent a total of three hours in the last two weeks worying about the cookies - not that big of a deal I think - maybe I am wrong - I don't know - at this point, however,  it will fall on me for the next six weeks.  I do have help with it and the other moms are just as busy as I am and have been EXTREMELY grateful that I am doing it.  As of now I am VERY lucky to have a spouse who is very understanding and wants to help with whatever it is he can, unfortunately his work schedule is so upside down he has his limitations.  He has always been a VERY involved dad and I am blessed.  I don't know that I am miserable - exhausted - yes, miserable, probably at times, but hopefully not overall, and as for the weight - I was huge for my whole life, so I can honestly say that the weight was there already and maybe the schedule just manifested it worse.  I am going to do what Karen suggested and list all the tings that I am responsible for and see if it can be placed elsewhere and see how I can lighten my load some.

And for that pride thing - it is a hard balance - I do enjoy the organizations I am in and feel I am making a diffference - especially in my synagogue community and love when things come together - I am also thinking that I am dealing with all this without turning to my old habits is hard as well and I have to work through that - not ordering a cheese steak with Fried Mozzerella to ignore all the stuff is what I used to do - now, I am just dealing with the chaos and finding it stressful.  I will get through this - especially with your continued love and support!  I can't thank you enough for taking the time to respond to me - it means soooo much!

Good Morning Kathy & PA:

I'm off from work today. 

Plans for the day:

Get shower
Go to lab to have blood drawn for upcoming dr. visits
Have my Upper Endoscopy @ noon
Gene will drive me home and I'll rest and relax for the remainder of the day

That's it for my exciting day

Hope everyone stays warm.

Ida