Foggy Tuesday Roll Call
I'm hustling around here early today. It's actually a little snowy outside here in Lancaster County - just a skim.
I'm on my 3rd load of laundry for the morning - one more to go.
Working from home and have a conf. call at 8 a.m. - on a topic that will be a *****allenging, so I will be glad when that's over!
After work, the gym...some phone calls...have to set up an appt. to take clothes in to the consignment store. I am finally at the point where my closet will be more of an echo chamber than it's ever been!
And...struggling with losing ONE pound. I'm at 79 total lbs. lost right now, and have been working hard to hit 80 since last Thursday. That pound knows it's important and is hanging on for dear life!
I'm on my 3rd load of laundry for the morning - one more to go.
Working from home and have a conf. call at 8 a.m. - on a topic that will be a *****allenging, so I will be glad when that's over!
After work, the gym...some phone calls...have to set up an appt. to take clothes in to the consignment store. I am finally at the point where my closet will be more of an echo chamber than it's ever been!
And...struggling with losing ONE pound. I'm at 79 total lbs. lost right now, and have been working hard to hit 80 since last Thursday. That pound knows it's important and is hanging on for dear life!
Looks like the fog is keeping everybody at home today?? Not me - I'm at work and actually our trip in wasn't too bad. Long weekends definitely help that.
Took mom to the oncologist yesterday and yet again he didn't have all the scans he needed to make a 'good' evaluation of her condition and the effect of the treatments, so we had to run and pick up her pet scan and I have to drop that off today and we go back in 2 weeks. You know, I realize these doctors are very busy, but they can't look into a patient's file BEFORE she gets there to see if he has ALL the information he needs? This isn't the first time this doctor has done this but my mother won't change doctors now - and why is it she will sit at home and b*tch and moan and complain about how she's feeling, but man when that doctor walks in the room and asks her she says 'Oh I'm feeling great today!' - OMG!! She pulled that yesterday and I said 'whoa, wait a minute - let's tell the doctor how you've really been feeling and doing, starting with the passing out last week and the fatigue you've had since the last treatment'. So anyway, from what he saw on the cat scan it didn't look promising that the treatments were going any good, but I'll take the pet scan over today and we'll go back in 2 weeks...
Other than that not much else new - I'm at work and that's a good thing.
Took mom to the oncologist yesterday and yet again he didn't have all the scans he needed to make a 'good' evaluation of her condition and the effect of the treatments, so we had to run and pick up her pet scan and I have to drop that off today and we go back in 2 weeks. You know, I realize these doctors are very busy, but they can't look into a patient's file BEFORE she gets there to see if he has ALL the information he needs? This isn't the first time this doctor has done this but my mother won't change doctors now - and why is it she will sit at home and b*tch and moan and complain about how she's feeling, but man when that doctor walks in the room and asks her she says 'Oh I'm feeling great today!' - OMG!! She pulled that yesterday and I said 'whoa, wait a minute - let's tell the doctor how you've really been feeling and doing, starting with the passing out last week and the fatigue you've had since the last treatment'. So anyway, from what he saw on the cat scan it didn't look promising that the treatments were going any good, but I'll take the pet scan over today and we'll go back in 2 weeks...
Other than that not much else new - I'm at work and that's a good thing.
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
I asked my mom the same question as she was going through treatment and she really didn't have an answer - I am thinking that it may be psychological. If you tell the doctor that you are feeling OK , then maybe the doctor has the magic power to MAKE you OK. I can't imagine what it was like for my mom to wake up everyday and KNOW she was sick. Even on good days, she was still sick. That lasted for four years. Even the day before she died, we were on the phone, she was stuck to oxygen through a CPAP machine - I asked her what she was holding on for and her answer was, "I'm not ready to die." I hope to never need to understand that, but maybe that is part of the reason that our family members NEED an advocate to tell exactly what is going on. We also hear things differently than they do - My mom and I had many conversations about what the doctor said and we often had to get clarification because I heard it one way and she heard it another. My only hope for you is to NOT be frustrated with her more than normal, and realize that WE are not the ones sick and feeling helpless. Although we do feel helpless, we still have a body that is not giving up on us. I hope that helps a little! Just keep loving your mom and let her love you back!
Thanks Steffie - you make a lot of good points but it is difficult not to get frustrated with her at times, but again, I'm not the one with the cancer, she is, and I can't begin to imagine what its like waking up with that knowledge every day - knowing you have a terminal illness that can't be cured, and that your health is never going to improve at this point - the best you can hope for is to not get terribly sick with it. We watched my dad go through that. And she LOOKS GOOD - it is amazing - and she probably does feel good when we go out even if it is to a doctor's office because she so rarely gets out any more and the nurses there all make a huge fuss over her.
It just tries my patience that she won't be honest with the doctor(s) so they know how to continue to treat her. Sadly I don't think the single chemo drug is strong enough to make a difference or to slow her cancer down, but when she gets the '****tail' of the three drugs its just too much for her worn-down system and she can't handle that, either.
anyway, thanks for putting some things in perspective for me - that's why this is such a wonderful place filled with so many great people - you guys will always give me something to think about!!
Hugs - Kathy
It just tries my patience that she won't be honest with the doctor(s) so they know how to continue to treat her. Sadly I don't think the single chemo drug is strong enough to make a difference or to slow her cancer down, but when she gets the '****tail' of the three drugs its just too much for her worn-down system and she can't handle that, either.
anyway, thanks for putting some things in perspective for me - that's why this is such a wonderful place filled with so many great people - you guys will always give me something to think about!!
Hugs - Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
Morning all.. it does look pretty foggy outside my window. I heard on channel 69 that there was an accident on 611 in Raubsville.. glad you missed that Liz.
Today has me back to work after a 4 day weekend.. goodie! I have a lot to catch up on, but my brain is relaxed and I should be good today.
I found an old friend from work on facebook about a week ago and he might be coming to take me to lunch today.
There is laundry piling up, so I should probably work on that during the day, too.
Making chicken for dinner and then Siehara has an appointment tonight with her therapist. She has been doing really well lately!!
Tonight, I think I'll do some yoga from my DVR collection.
That's it for me. Stay safe everyone!!
Today has me back to work after a 4 day weekend.. goodie! I have a lot to catch up on, but my brain is relaxed and I should be good today.
I found an old friend from work on facebook about a week ago and he might be coming to take me to lunch today.
There is laundry piling up, so I should probably work on that during the day, too.
Making chicken for dinner and then Siehara has an appointment tonight with her therapist. She has been doing really well lately!!
Tonight, I think I'll do some yoga from my DVR collection.
That's it for me. Stay safe everyone!!
My tracker
hers 
Good morning Liz and all of PA - no fog here in Philly, but a nice amount of frost on the windsheild and the grass. I am at school today til 3:15 and then off to the synagogue for my "religion run." All armed with Girl Scout Cookies of course! :)
I went shopping yesterday and had a wonderful time, I will hopefully post about that seperately as there are LOTS of conflicting emotions running through me right now and I need to sort them out and talk with you wonderful people! I know you are all thinking, "Oh joy...a new post from Steffi! Shoot me now!" :)
I hope you all have a great Tuesday!
I went shopping yesterday and had a wonderful time, I will hopefully post about that seperately as there are LOTS of conflicting emotions running through me right now and I need to sort them out and talk with you wonderful people! I know you are all thinking, "Oh joy...a new post from Steffi! Shoot me now!" :)
I hope you all have a great Tuesday!
Hi all. I took the day off from work. It was not an good day to do it because days after holidays we are very busy, but i needed to do it. I have to make a decision about possibly leaving my job and going to work for a local place as a lead clinician. There are alot of variables that I need to sort out and they really want an answer today. I cannot do that and deal with the chaos that is my job. I hope my co workers will forgive me, but i dont think they will. Even with bribes of chocolate. :)
It is unusual for me to put myself first like this, but I know i need to do this. This would be a big decision, I would be back in the drug and alcohol arena, and also seeing clients in my own practice, That is alot of client and face time. It is also in methadone which has its own challenges. But it is in lancaster which would cut down on 10 hrs in the car each week.
So, my thought is that I will get up. Have breakfast., go to borders and get some coffee and read through a few books I am considering buying. One of them being a Martha Beck book. Mull it over more, then go to the gym. I am also going to do some work on some stuff for my practice and a class proposal for temples summer classes. I hope to decide what to do this afternoon.
I will still see my clients this PM so I am working some today. I heard someone say snow??? I Have not even looked out the window yet.
It is unusual for me to put myself first like this, but I know i need to do this. This would be a big decision, I would be back in the drug and alcohol arena, and also seeing clients in my own practice, That is alot of client and face time. It is also in methadone which has its own challenges. But it is in lancaster which would cut down on 10 hrs in the car each week.
So, my thought is that I will get up. Have breakfast., go to borders and get some coffee and read through a few books I am considering buying. One of them being a Martha Beck book. Mull it over more, then go to the gym. I am also going to do some work on some stuff for my practice and a class proposal for temples summer classes. I hope to decide what to do this afternoon.
I will still see my clients this PM so I am working some today. I heard someone say snow??? I Have not even looked out the window yet.
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