Had meltdown today - super-sized post...

Ok, this was going to be a great day.  I was scheduled for my pre-op class, so excited, I have hardly been able to contain myself all day.

Until I got to the surgeon's office.

Turns out, i was given the wrong date.  The class for RNY is tomorrow not today.  The girl at the reception desk didn't even say she was sorry, just said, you'll have to come back tomorrow, you're here on the wrong day. 

Let me just say that I've never gotten an appointment wrong before.  I'm really good at that sort of thing, very organized.

I explained to her that I had taken the afternoon off (I'm a contractor, so that means no pay at all), and that my husband had taken the afternoon off to come with me.  And that I have a biopsy scheduled at the OBGYN tomorrow afternoon, so it's not just a matter of "coming back tomorrow".  We live in Wrren County, this is not a drive across town.  She said, without a hint of compassion, well, you'll have to come bac k tomorrow or you can't have the surgery.  I asked to talk to the manager,who was, if possible, even less compassionate and not even an "I'm sorry this happened".  She said they called to confirm (yes, they did, i can't say whether or not they mentioned the date when they confirmed, I really don't remember). and that' she teaches the class and that she's very busy and cannot do anything special for anyone.

i was pretty calm, I asked her to have my recods copied while I waited so that I could go to another surgeon, and asked to speak with the doctor.  she said that she doubted he would have time for me, but that that was fine, I could go elsewhere.  Clearly they have plenty of business, they obviously don't need me.

So, we went back to the waiting room to wait for the records and to see the doctor, and I called the obgyn to see if there'a any way to reschedule the biopsy.  The problem with it is, it takes a week for the results, so it has to be done this week to get clearance for surgery on 1/25.  Monday is a holiday.  no luck, they were really nice when I explained the situation, and said they would call me if there's a cancellation for tomorrow or friday.

At that point, in the waiting room, I burst into tears.  I've been waiting months, and it all just became too much.  I'm sure my husband was dying of embarrassment, but he was very comforting, but I couldn't stop, so I said let's just go.  So we left without the records or seeing the doctor.

it's 1.5 hours to get home from Morristown.  On the way home, the obgyn's office called, the receptionist had explained the situation to the doctor and he agreed to stay late, and add an appointment for me to have the endometrial biopsy at 4:30 on Friday afternoon (now THAT's customer service).  I was so happy.  I had yet another appointment at the sleep center on friday, but I called them, and they moved my appointment there to Monday.  I decided I really wanted to go to the class, even though I have a bad feeling about the office staff.  I called the surgeon's office, and the same receptionist told me the manager was in a meeting so I asked her for voice mail, so I could tell her I'd be coming.  Receptionist asked for my name, said, 'oh" when I told her, and said I'll see if she can talk to you.  I waited on hold 15 minutes, then decided it wasn't worth my cell battery (still on the ride home).  I hung up.  They never called me back.

Here's my dilemma.

I really want the surgery, NOW, and I really have a lot of respect for Dr. Bertha - I woujld like him to do it.  But all along the way, the office has lost paperwork, claimed they never got things, and didn't respond when I had questions, until the third phone call.  Nothing horrible, but they've never struck me as particularly efficient, except at collectiong money.  The questions I entered on claritymd were not responded to at all.

How important is the office after surgery?  I know I was upset this afternoon and overreacted, saying I would go to someone else, but  SHOULD  I have a warm fuzzy about the office as well as the surgeon, maybe I'm not at the right office for me?   I don't think i was treated with respect today, even though I was very polite about the mixup, or at least more polite than they were to me.  I never raised my voice (unless you count the sobbing in the waiting room :-) )I think I'm going to the class and I'm going ahead with the surgery, but I just have this icky feeling now and I hate that.  I want it to go away.  They could have handled this better.  I should be feeling better about them.  Would a person *****spects herself go back there?

I'm interested in your opinions.  i know y'all won't hold back.  I think I'll post this both on jersey and PA...

Elizabeth

Elizabeth so sorry that you had to go though this! I know several people (Including a dermatologist who was a great friend) that worked with and/or went to Morrestown Hospital for their surgery. THe surgeons are top notch - the staff leaves a lot to be desired. THe good news - you deal with a different set of people post op- the bad news, they are slow too.

THat being said, I would have completely reacted the same way you did except my hubby would have been hiding behind a chair because I would have lost it! I would have made someone pay lol but then again I am a red head and well don't tick me off :)

IF I were you I would still go to the class tomorrow and go through with my surgery - again Dr Bertha is top notch, you are in great hands with him. The office staff is the one with the issues.

Hang in there hun and best of luck!

Liz

Elizabeth,

If you lived closer to Philly I would recommend Barix, they are wonderful!

I had a lot of hoops to go through before I had my surgery in June of 2009. I started my journey in April 2008 and it took all that time before I could have the surgery. It was nothing that the clinic did wrong, I had a lot of health issues that needed to be resolved pre op.

More important than the office staff is the support group! Hopefully you have a good one up there, if not you are more than welcome to join us on the third Wednesday of every month, Although it would be quite a hike for you.

Good luck and things will work out!!

Beth

You are not alone, Elizabeth. I realy don't like any of the staff at my surgeon's office. I love my surgeon and his one nurse practioner and that's it; but eveytime I have to walk into that office I suck it up, deal with it, and get-in and out  as quick as I can. 

I say if you are happy with the surgeon you chose that stick with him- remember it's him doing the surgery not his office and you can always kill'em with kindness!

Best Wishes!

I own a business and I would never treat a client the way I have been treated by a certain person on the office staff. ( at my dotors, not the same as yours)Everyone but this one person had been really helpful. I seriously considered starting over, but I did really like my surgeon. I hope this person gets fired lol.Early on before my 6 month program I also had a bad experience w a  scheduling at phys who was doing my eval. Drove 90 minutes to be turned away. Turned out I only had to use that office once , so I was glad I didn't take it too personally! I don't know what to tell you , hopefully some people here will know about that specific office.

Rudeness is not to be tolerated.  I would certainly do something about it - such as mentioning it to the surgeon when you do see him, and/or writing a letter of complaint to Morristown or something along those lines.

Personally - I have had doctors whom I love who I hated the staff and it was always pulling teeth for something or another (not necessarily with Barix, although there were times they were less then helpful)  I think that your comfort level with your SURGEON is the most important.  If you felt the surgeon himself was blowing you off on certain occassions, I would consider that some pretty hefty red flags.  Considering he's not the issue, I would deal with it.

Just make sure that you STAY the squeaky wheel with them.  Chances are they won't want to deal with you, and therefore, give you what you want when you want it or hopefully in a somewhat timely fashion.  They will probably look down on you for being "that person" but you deserve what you need and want.

Hope things get better for you tomorrow!

Thanks everyone for youru replies.  I really appreciate your feedback.

Yesterday, I was in child mode - wanting to stomp my feet and say "it's all ruined" because things went so badly yesterday.  I had a sort of childlike anticipation of yesterday, very excited about it - I've lost that, but none of the reasons for surgery have changed, it's what I want and need to do.

Today, after reflection, and with your help, I'm feeling a little more mature.  I've fixed what I can, and I'll go to the class and hope that all goes forward.  You're all correct, it's the surgeon that is important, everything else I can manage.   Things wont necessarily get easier or be all rosy along the way, and I need to cowboy up and deal with each little setback as I come across it.

Thanks again,

Elizabeth

Elizabeth,

Sorry you had to go through that, but it sounds like you've gotten some great advice.  I would add, though, that your surgeon NEEDS to hear the feedback about your experience.  And you need to ask him point-blank "If I have an issue after surgery, will I be able to reach you immediately and without a road-block like I encountered yesterday?"  That answer is the most critical thing you'll need to consider, in my opinion!  For example, my surgeon (the sainted Dr. P) makes sure that none of her patients leave the hospital without her personal cell phone number.  During office hours, I always call the office and have never had a problem getting a quick call-back or getting put through (if she's in surgery, I've gotten a quick call back from one of her nurses to see if there's anything she can do until Dr. P is free, and even then Dr. P calls back as soon as she's able).  That's the standard of care we DESERVE and yet it's fairly rare.

You have to be comfortable with the support staff that handle post-ops and with the support options presented to you.  And you have to be comfortable with the doctor.  And hopefully the Doc will listen to your feedback (and if they're that bad, I know you're not alone) and will train his staff in better customer service.

Karen

Elizabeth,

I was so glad to read your post!  And I'm just as happy that you're still going to go to the class.  There is no reason that those rude (insert nasty word here) should take this opportunity away from you.  I was having a heck of a day with my surgeon's office staff yesterday.  I was a little more than 1 week out and thought I'd still be on their "Needs extra care" list... but I guess that list doesn't exist.  Only in my head!

I agree with everyone else - if you like your surgeon and trust him, that's what you need to go with.  The office staff will be a group of people that you rarely have to deal with months from now.  And when you do - you can wow them with your success and they can eat it!

My nutritionist told me in one of our last meetings that I was one of the "Lucky ones".  I asked him what that meant and he said that there were 6 of us approved for surgery for the first 3 weeks of January, and that they literally turn 6-8 people down a week.  I couldn't believe it!  I knew this surgery was hard to get - but I just assumed it was insurance.  I guess I didn't realize that there are gobs of people that try to have it that just aren't compliant enough to get the job done (our center has very specific goals you have to meet before you can be cleared for surgery).  

Your organizational skills are a blessing - and maybe, just maybe, the office staff will step up to meet your goals.  And if not, your detailed/planner personality will only make you 10 times more successful on the other side!

You're going to do great!  Good luck at your class today and if you have any questions... the boards are the place for them =)
Melissa

Thanks Karen and Melissa for the feedback.

As an update, I did go to the class, it was a good mix of old and new info.  I had to "stay after class", because Dr. Abkin, Dr. Bertha's partner, wanted to visit with me.  Someone had alerted him to my post, and he wanted to follow up.  I'm glad that he did.  I'm sorry that it took a rant to get my concern raised with the docs.  I"m sure if I hadn't posted, the docs would not have been alerted to my concerns. 

I realize I'm one of 10,000 in their practice, and they are good at communicating how busy and important they are.  I'm hoping this showed them that each patient is important too (and most of us are pretty dang busy as well).

As I told him, it's all in the delivery - they had three opportunities to say "I'm really sorry this happened to you, I wish I could change things".  If it had been delivered like that, I would still be all warm and fuzzy.   I'm trusting his word that he'll follow up with the staff.  I'm hoping that the nurse manager will see this as a learning opportunity, and that she doesn't hold a grudge.  And I'm really looking forward to having the surgery!