More Cold Weather Monday Roll Call
Kathy,
Nar-Anon and Al-Anon are two groups that help family and friends of alcoholics and addicts. They help people get their lives back to some semblance of normal.
Hopefully, if your niece is truly willing, she will make the changes she needs to make in order to gain long term recovery, and one of those changes is to make regular attendance at meetings a high priority.
Trish
Nar-Anon and Al-Anon are two groups that help family and friends of alcoholics and addicts. They help people get their lives back to some semblance of normal.
Hopefully, if your niece is truly willing, she will make the changes she needs to make in order to gain long term recovery, and one of those changes is to make regular attendance at meetings a high priority.
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
I did send for information from Nar-Anon for families of addicts - I know I'd never get my mother out to a meeting and she is taking this very hard, but thought if I had some info she can read it might help her (and me as well).
I think one of Leah's biggest problems is that she stopped attending meetings when they weren't required anymore and she obviously has a problem dealing with life in general, and when things aren't going smoothly she runs back to her hiding place, the drugs. So now we don't know if all the medical problems she was saying she had really exist or not - right now we can't believe anything she says. Of course she told her mother all the 'right' things when she went to see her - how she wants to turn her life around - get her family back together - etc. Right now I'm just not buying into it - this is the 4th or 5th time we've gone through it and she just goes on her merry way while everyone around her is left to pick up the pieces of the lives she's shattered. I guess that's why I'm feeling so bitter right now.
Of course I hope she can obtain long term recovery some how, some day - but stints in jail, rehab, halfway houses, and losing her first child have not had the impact you think they would in order for her to stay clean.
Thank you so much for your support - it truly means a lot to me - right now I just wish I could believe in her but I can't.
I think one of Leah's biggest problems is that she stopped attending meetings when they weren't required anymore and she obviously has a problem dealing with life in general, and when things aren't going smoothly she runs back to her hiding place, the drugs. So now we don't know if all the medical problems she was saying she had really exist or not - right now we can't believe anything she says. Of course she told her mother all the 'right' things when she went to see her - how she wants to turn her life around - get her family back together - etc. Right now I'm just not buying into it - this is the 4th or 5th time we've gone through it and she just goes on her merry way while everyone around her is left to pick up the pieces of the lives she's shattered. I guess that's why I'm feeling so bitter right now.
Of course I hope she can obtain long term recovery some how, some day - but stints in jail, rehab, halfway houses, and losing her first child have not had the impact you think they would in order for her to stay clean.
Thank you so much for your support - it truly means a lot to me - right now I just wish I could believe in her but I can't.
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
I totally understand what you are saying, as I have been on both sides of the issue. I am in recovery, and have been in outpatient treatment with everyone, alcoholics and addicts. I am also the mother of an addict, who has been arrested, and has lied, cheated and stole, etc. Then, I also have done internships in rehabs and half-way houses.
Nar-Anon may have a website, where you might be able to download and print out information for your mother. Unfortunately, it is hard not to take these things personally, but if you are able to get to the place of being able to detach, it would help. An addict is not doing anything to intentionally hurt their family members. They are simply trying to survive, and to do so, they must feed their addiction.
Recovery, for me, means working the 12 steps, which are a spiritual program. If I do that, and attending meetings is so vital to remind me I am an alcoholic, and dependent on those steps, I can get another day of sobriety. When I do not attend meetings, I believe the lie that says, I am not an alcoholic, and I can get away with a drink.
If you would like, I can send you my phone number, and you can feel free to call, cry on my shoulder, rant, rave, whatever. Let me know.
Hugs,
Trish
Nar-Anon may have a website, where you might be able to download and print out information for your mother. Unfortunately, it is hard not to take these things personally, but if you are able to get to the place of being able to detach, it would help. An addict is not doing anything to intentionally hurt their family members. They are simply trying to survive, and to do so, they must feed their addiction.
Recovery, for me, means working the 12 steps, which are a spiritual program. If I do that, and attending meetings is so vital to remind me I am an alcoholic, and dependent on those steps, I can get another day of sobriety. When I do not attend meetings, I believe the lie that says, I am not an alcoholic, and I can get away with a drink.
If you would like, I can send you my phone number, and you can feel free to call, cry on my shoulder, rant, rave, whatever. Let me know.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Kathy,
I totally feel for you and understand exactly what you are saying.
My brother has been doing decently for a little while now (less than a year, however), and before the last "stint" was good for well over a year. He's holding down a responsible job which started as an internship and very well has GREAT potential, thanks to his effort, to be fulltime with benefits and what not.
I still don't trust him. I can't. It's one of the FEW things Brian and I disagree with. (His mother is a previous addict) and Brian thinks I should "forgive and forget". I forgive. But I won't forget. And I understand the once bitten twice shy type of attitude.
It still hurts what he's done....and it will hurt more if he does it again. I'm not saying I don't support him. And I've gotten to a point where he is very in my life, and I appreciate that. And I will support, if God forbid it comes down to it, rehab or whatever it takes, but that same breath, I am almost always "expecting" it to happen again. Brian thinks I should take his sobriety for what it is.....and I can't. For me, I have to remember he's an addict, much like Trish has to remember she's an alcoholic. The day I forget he's an addict and needs to hide is the day I allow myself to be hurt by him again.
I don't know if it makes any sense....but to me it does.
Hugs,
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
You and Trish make such good points and it does help to know I'm not the only one with these feelings - I told Trish Leah stopped going to support meetings and that was probably her big downfall back into the drugs - but I also know that her mother and father don't encourage her to continue because she's their 'little girl' and she just can't be an ADDICT - its just a problem she has. Until they (and her husband) wake up and see that she IS an ADDICT and support and encourage her to continue going to meetings, etc., I'm not sure she'll ever be free and clear of it. And honestly I'm beginning to think I'm the only one in my family who sees it for what it is - my mother doesn't nor do my sisters - my family has always been good at burying their heads in the sand over so many issues - which explains why my sister's son is 38 years old and still being supported by her!
If I wasn't dealing with my mother's health issues on a 24/7 basis it may not be affecting me as much, but as her health continues to deteriorate and my husband and I get no break from it the stress of everything is just weighing both of us down these days. We've cancelled a cruise we had planned for March because I couldn't get a commitment from family members to come stay with my mom and that really has my husband depressed. So its all adding up and becomes very stressful.
Anyway, thanks for listening - I always appreciate the input I get from everyone on these boards - God knows you guys are my sanity!!!
If I wasn't dealing with my mother's health issues on a 24/7 basis it may not be affecting me as much, but as her health continues to deteriorate and my husband and I get no break from it the stress of everything is just weighing both of us down these days. We've cancelled a cruise we had planned for March because I couldn't get a commitment from family members to come stay with my mom and that really has my husband depressed. So its all adding up and becomes very stressful.
Anyway, thanks for listening - I always appreciate the input I get from everyone on these boards - God knows you guys are my sanity!!!
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
It's 12 degrees outside.
We turn the heat off at night (well...we HAD been turning the heat off at night) and I woke up to the house being 55 degrees. I was nice and toasty warm in my bed with my personal space heater (brian) but getting out was nooooo fun. Definately just turning the thermostat down at night now!
Today...maybe some errands...not sure. Packing food for work blah blah blah. Also need to get in touch with the scheduler from my per diem job...haven't worked there since I believe 12/12 and the bank account shows it. I've enjoyed the time off....but definately need to start picking up some extra time.
Other than that - back to work @ LVH tonight.
We turn the heat off at night (well...we HAD been turning the heat off at night) and I woke up to the house being 55 degrees. I was nice and toasty warm in my bed with my personal space heater (brian) but getting out was nooooo fun. Definately just turning the thermostat down at night now!
Today...maybe some errands...not sure. Packing food for work blah blah blah. Also need to get in touch with the scheduler from my per diem job...haven't worked there since I believe 12/12 and the bank account shows it. I've enjoyed the time off....but definately need to start picking up some extra time.
Other than that - back to work @ LVH tonight.
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.
Good morning Liz and all of PA - WAY TOO MANY DAYS UNTIL SPRING! I am wearing two long sleeve shirts today - I have not been this cold, since, well, ever probably! However, I do have teenagers all day to put my cold hands on when they aggravate me - so there is THAT added bonus! :)
I am at work today til 3:15, possibly tutoring this afternoon, getting the girl scout cookies tonight - oy - I am the cookie mom for my youngests troop....Should be an interesting few weeks!
That is all on my agenda - oh wait - have to get Molly home from dance class....oy the joy that is my life!
Have a nice monday all! :)
I am at work today til 3:15, possibly tutoring this afternoon, getting the girl scout cookies tonight - oy - I am the cookie mom for my youngests troop....Should be an interesting few weeks!
That is all on my agenda - oh wait - have to get Molly home from dance class....oy the joy that is my life!
Have a nice monday all! :)
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