Hubby is freaking... and I'm hot! (Long!)

so glad that he has come around!

Melissa I am very sorry about what happened. It is not that uncommon for patients and spouses to get cold feet. this is a huge decision and a big deal. I did not go through this but i have seen others go through this and some have weathered it well and some others have really struggled.

Marriage and relationships can be so complicated sometimes and when you add this  to the mix it can be volatile. You know what is right for you and that is where you focus should lie. Talk to friends. come here to this board you will get through this and he will figure it out.

If there is anything i can do or if you need to talk i am here

Just read your post and the replies. Glad things are resolved. I know my husband was worried sick too, but supported my decision. Good luck with everything and wishing you a speedy recovery.

Mel - I just finished reading this entire thread and I was floored to hear that sweet (quiet) Ryan blew up like that. It sounded to me like he was scared and your follow-up post just confirmed that. You've received some great advice on this thread and I'm happy to hear that he's finally opened up to you. My husband is kinda like Ryan, he's rather not talk about the issues at hand. I know I don't know both of you too well, but from what I do know Ryan seems very supportive....he's been at every support group and as you've mentioned, he's gone to most of your appointments. 

I didn't experience that same thing with my husband but I know deep down he was apprehensive about me having surgery. He was thrilled with the idea that I was taking steps to improve my health, but the idea of surgery probably scared him more than he let on. With every surgery, their are risks we take, but as I told him this was one risk worth taking. I, like you, needed to do something drastic to change my life.

You have my number, you can call me whenever you need to talk. We could always meet up somewhere and talk, if that's what you need to get through this. I hope you and Ryan are able to make it through this rough patch and I wish you both a Happy New Year. If you have any last minute questions before surgery next Tuesday, please give me a call or send me a PM.

Sending lots of "hugs" your way!!!!! 

Thanks Holly - means a lot.  I think the reason it upset me so much is because it's so unlike him!  My final appointment with Brader before surgery got canceled today (they closed the office because of weather... what????).  So they are going to squeeze me in on Monday afternoon sometime and asked me to be flexible.  Nothing like leaving it to the last minute, but I kind of like that.  It will give me all weekend to think up questions and pepper Brader with them if I have them.  Hope you have a great New Year!!!  Talk soon =)

Melissa,

Glad to hear everything is better.  We will definitely have to go walking.  Nicole, glad you are local-- the more the merrier.  Have a great weekend Melissa and good luck.  I am moving over to make room now!

So glad Ryan opened up to you before surgery!!! My husband is the same way... holding things inside. It's a gender defect...it's so much better just to let your feelings out.  John and I really haven't talked about the surgery much... other than he'd rather me lose weight without it... but he'll support me since this is the choice I made.  He doesn't want to see me end up with diabetes like my mother or heart disease like my Dad.

After your Thanksgiving & Christmas posting about your family... no wonder Ryan's nerves are on end.  Stressful times... Just think it will be all over soon.

Hang in there... I'll remember you in my prayers!