Hubby is freaking... and I'm hot! (Long!)

Thanks Liz!  I didn't know about the Barix spouse support groups - I think that's great.  I've recommended he reach out to spouses at the LGH support group and/or post on the spouses section on the board if he's struggling, but him being the internal processor that he is - just won't bite.  Glad you and your mom were able to go through it together and Chris came around in the end.  Thanks for all your kind words and of course the virtual Hugs!

WOW.  I am sorry you have to go through this now.  I'm sure he is just panicked and will come back to the same page you two were on before the vacation.  Sometimes negativity and fear breeds more negativity and fear.  Although it is the most important thing to have a huge support group... I also feel this decision we make about WLS is our own.

Many many hugs.  And it will smooth out.  Loves

Thanks Sandra - glad to see your vacation went well! Keep up the hard work =)

Mel, Liz is right. The Barix support group this Saturday includes a small group session for spouses/support people. This is the first half of the meeting - then everyone comes together for a large group session.

Barix is about 90 minutes from Lancaster. I can give you good directions if you need them. The meeting runs 12-4.

Lynn

Thanks for the offer Lynn.  We'll be in Baltimore this Saturday, but I'd be happy to take you up on it a different weekend.  I'm sure during this crazy ride we are about to start that there would be more than one occasion where it would be beneficial.

Melissa-- I am so sorry.  If you ever need to talk, let me know.  I am not that far away and we can walk, have decaf, whatever.  I can relate to what you are going through.  Everyone has given some great advise.   Hang in there and in the meantime, take care of you. 

Dawn

Thanks Dawn - when the weather warms up a bit, I'd love to go walking.  I'd consider walking the mall... but my after christmas deal finding eyes would get me into trouble.  I'm doing everything to not buy clothes now knowing I'll need to wait!!!  I wish I could be at support group in January, but then again - after just having the surgery, the last thing I'll probably want to hear about is plastics!!! How are you doing otherwise?

dawn and melissa I am local and would love walking buddies too

Quick update....

Ryan got home from work tonight, walked in the door and hugged me - you know, those big bear hugs.  We hugged for a long time and then I heard this little voice say "sorry".  That's pretty much all I needed.  We didn't talk much about it then, I just kind of enjoyed the moment.

He later told me he was exhausted.  Mentally, emotionally and physically from our trip and then having to go right back to work and that he was just really scared.  His dad had a massive heart attack at 38 when Ryan was 8, so to him, this whole hospital thing and "elective" surgery is really hard for him.  I knew about his dad, but had no idea that what I'm going through would dredge that all back up.  This also helps explain why he's feeling like he is being held back from being close to his dad... My pending surgery is bringing that old fear back that he might lose his dad (or me).

He also talked briefly about being "alone" out here if something happened.  Considering he never really picked to live in PA, he just lovingly followed me - that is making more sense too.  It's all coming from a place of love and worry, not a place of NO like I thought it was.  Guess my family conditioned me to think all hesitation comes from a place of NO and I have to remember that my husband is cut from a different cloth (THANK GOD!).

Thanks to everyone for your kind words.  It's almost like as soon as I put IT out there, the solution started to fall into place - and I'm sure your thoughts coming my way helped in that.

Thanks again to everyone!

Glad to hear it!!!