OT: HUGE THANK YOU and an update
First off thank you so much to all of you *****sponded to my post about my niece yesterday - all of your wonderful thoughts and prayers mean more to me then I could ever tell you, and I loved the advice I got from several of you who have gone through this type of thing yourself. I do think I will find a support group to help me through this - I know I'd never get my mother there but maybe I can pass along what I learn to her. She is really having a difficult time with this - we were all so proud of my niece for pulling herself together and then this happened.
We did find out that her drug of choice this time was crack cocaine, which explains the severe weight loss (she's down to less than 110 lbs). Also found out that her husband had changed the locks on the house doors because she had literally sold the beds right out from underneath her children to support her habit, along with anything and everything else of value (including the kids' christmas gifts) to support her habit. She tried to come back into the house and when she found the door locks changed she kicked the door in, and thats when the fight started.
The police who were called have backed Eric up on his side of the story, tho, and he is home with the children. My niece is now in a full-time rehab in Kennett Square compliments of her mother and step-father. My ex sister-in-law said she almost stopped the car on the way there and threw her out because she was so wild and crazy - of course accusing her mother of just wanting to take her children away, etc. Crying that she wants her babies, etc. Drug talk - and that's what the counselors told Jane when they got Leah to the facility, because Jane told them everything that Leah was saying.
We're praying she stays in the facility and doesn't get someone to pick her up or check her out - I am not thrilled that she is so close to my home and I have repeatedly told my mother to keep the doors closed and LOCKED at all times, and if she does show up to not let her in and call 911 immediately. Thankfully my husband is home today and I'll be home the rest of the week.
I am thankful for the prayers because I do think they helped immensely right now - Eric is home with the children where he should be and they are safe - Leah is getting the help she needs (hopefully) - could have been a lot worse which is what I told my mother who was sitting wringing her hands last night - Eric could be in jail because of hitting Leah and she could be in a morgue - so be thankful for what it is right now and we will move on from here.
So again, thank you all so much - every time an e-mail popped in with words of encouragement and prayers it made me feel a little bit better.
You people are the absolute BEST.
Hugs - Kathy
We did find out that her drug of choice this time was crack cocaine, which explains the severe weight loss (she's down to less than 110 lbs). Also found out that her husband had changed the locks on the house doors because she had literally sold the beds right out from underneath her children to support her habit, along with anything and everything else of value (including the kids' christmas gifts) to support her habit. She tried to come back into the house and when she found the door locks changed she kicked the door in, and thats when the fight started.
The police who were called have backed Eric up on his side of the story, tho, and he is home with the children. My niece is now in a full-time rehab in Kennett Square compliments of her mother and step-father. My ex sister-in-law said she almost stopped the car on the way there and threw her out because she was so wild and crazy - of course accusing her mother of just wanting to take her children away, etc. Crying that she wants her babies, etc. Drug talk - and that's what the counselors told Jane when they got Leah to the facility, because Jane told them everything that Leah was saying.
We're praying she stays in the facility and doesn't get someone to pick her up or check her out - I am not thrilled that she is so close to my home and I have repeatedly told my mother to keep the doors closed and LOCKED at all times, and if she does show up to not let her in and call 911 immediately. Thankfully my husband is home today and I'll be home the rest of the week.
I am thankful for the prayers because I do think they helped immensely right now - Eric is home with the children where he should be and they are safe - Leah is getting the help she needs (hopefully) - could have been a lot worse which is what I told my mother who was sitting wringing her hands last night - Eric could be in jail because of hitting Leah and she could be in a morgue - so be thankful for what it is right now and we will move on from here.
So again, thank you all so much - every time an e-mail popped in with words of encouragement and prayers it made me feel a little bit better.
You people are the absolute BEST.
Hugs - Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
Kathy I read your other post but did not get to respond!! I hope that everything turns out for the best.
I have a youngr brother who still after all this time is still dealing with addictions. Now he has alittle girl and still does not realize what he could do to better himself and his family.
I hope that everything works out!!
I have a youngr brother who still after all this time is still dealing with addictions. Now he has alittle girl and still does not realize what he could do to better himself and his family.
I hope that everything works out!!
Kathy,
That is wonderful news and hopefully she will "want" the help once her head clears and she realizes how crazed the drugs had her. . .
Al-Anon, Nar-Anon are a good source of help for those affected by the afflicted ones. So I wish you the best as you find help for you in dealing with such people.
It is actually where I was first introduced to AA (Al-Anon being a sort of sister fellowship based on the same principles of AA) and because my boyfriend of the time "had the problem". He was in a rehab and it was suggested that I attend Al-Anon and while I was still in denial about my own issues, I attended Al-Anon until on his 90th day he relapsed. . . that was March of 1986 and in June of 1987, thanks to a friend who had attended rehab and reached out to me at a time when I recognized I had a problem, but did not know how to ask for help, because I was so entrenched in my addiction, she brought me to my first NA meeting. It took a couple of weeks before I realized that while I had not been institutionalized, nor lost everything, I had hit an emotional bottom that was about me not wanting to go on living and I needed and began to want what the 12 Step programs offered, which was a daily reprieve from the life I had been living. I have been attending meetings and maintaining my sobriety for over 22 years now, though I had an almost 3 year period where I tried living without meetings, during which time I gained about 30 pounds, so while I did not succumb to drinking or drugging again, I found that my life works best when I am attending meetings, and it is through those experiences that I realized, once I made my decision to travel this path of WLS, after all food is an addiction, that support of like minded individuals is something I would need to stay the course for this path.
With all that being said, I wish you and Leah's family the best of everything for 2010, may her life take a new direction, one which leads her to a place of knowing that life without drugs and alcohol is one that can be full and rich with rewards that are immeasurable, she will need the support of those around her and the community of recovering people that can be freely found in 12 Step meetings.
Hugs, prayers and positive thoughts, Laureen
That is wonderful news and hopefully she will "want" the help once her head clears and she realizes how crazed the drugs had her. . .
Al-Anon, Nar-Anon are a good source of help for those affected by the afflicted ones. So I wish you the best as you find help for you in dealing with such people.
It is actually where I was first introduced to AA (Al-Anon being a sort of sister fellowship based on the same principles of AA) and because my boyfriend of the time "had the problem". He was in a rehab and it was suggested that I attend Al-Anon and while I was still in denial about my own issues, I attended Al-Anon until on his 90th day he relapsed. . . that was March of 1986 and in June of 1987, thanks to a friend who had attended rehab and reached out to me at a time when I recognized I had a problem, but did not know how to ask for help, because I was so entrenched in my addiction, she brought me to my first NA meeting. It took a couple of weeks before I realized that while I had not been institutionalized, nor lost everything, I had hit an emotional bottom that was about me not wanting to go on living and I needed and began to want what the 12 Step programs offered, which was a daily reprieve from the life I had been living. I have been attending meetings and maintaining my sobriety for over 22 years now, though I had an almost 3 year period where I tried living without meetings, during which time I gained about 30 pounds, so while I did not succumb to drinking or drugging again, I found that my life works best when I am attending meetings, and it is through those experiences that I realized, once I made my decision to travel this path of WLS, after all food is an addiction, that support of like minded individuals is something I would need to stay the course for this path.
With all that being said, I wish you and Leah's family the best of everything for 2010, may her life take a new direction, one which leads her to a place of knowing that life without drugs and alcohol is one that can be full and rich with rewards that are immeasurable, she will need the support of those around her and the community of recovering people that can be freely found in 12 Step meetings.
Hugs, prayers and positive thoughts, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Kathy
Hopefully Leah will commit once again to being drug free. Unfortunately these things take such a toll on the entire family. My very dear friend and next door neighbor has struggled with her son's drug addiction for over 25 years - on and off again. She has attended "tough love" which enabled her to get on with her own life.
Hugs, thoughts, and prayers to you.
Arlene
Kathy,
As a recovering alcoholic, and mother of a heroin addict, I can tell you a few things I have learned in my own relapse/recovery history, my social work training, my work in rehab facilities and research. Addiction, whether it be alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gambling, etc, is a disease. It is both behavioral and physical. Once the addict uses a drug, or other substance, the body takes over, and a craving is begun.
This is why alcoholics, like myself, must be soooooooo careful after surgeries, or when dealing with pain issues, something with which I have struggled for months now. Taking any narcotic pain meds can trigger a relapse. My docs would not give me anything narcotic for my horrific pain in the past few months, to the point where I sat in my doc's office in tears begging for anything that would take the pain away, but not cause a relapse
The scary thing about addiction is the denial. Everyone can see what is happening, but the addict. All they see is the pain that happens when they do not get their fix.
Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are groups that family and friends of alcoholics and addicts can attend for support and learning about addiction. If your niece stays in the rehab, and gets involved in Narcotics Anonymous, she stands a chance of restoring her life. After inpatient rehab, there are outpatient rehabs where the addict can attend for 2-3 hours a night, three days a week. There are also halfway houses, where they can be monitored more closely. Libertae, Incorporated, in Bensalem is a terrific one for women. I did a social work internship there, and am good friends with the director. www.libertae.org
I will pray for your niece, and her family.
Hugs,
Trish
As a recovering alcoholic, and mother of a heroin addict, I can tell you a few things I have learned in my own relapse/recovery history, my social work training, my work in rehab facilities and research. Addiction, whether it be alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gambling, etc, is a disease. It is both behavioral and physical. Once the addict uses a drug, or other substance, the body takes over, and a craving is begun.
This is why alcoholics, like myself, must be soooooooo careful after surgeries, or when dealing with pain issues, something with which I have struggled for months now. Taking any narcotic pain meds can trigger a relapse. My docs would not give me anything narcotic for my horrific pain in the past few months, to the point where I sat in my doc's office in tears begging for anything that would take the pain away, but not cause a relapse
The scary thing about addiction is the denial. Everyone can see what is happening, but the addict. All they see is the pain that happens when they do not get their fix.
Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are groups that family and friends of alcoholics and addicts can attend for support and learning about addiction. If your niece stays in the rehab, and gets involved in Narcotics Anonymous, she stands a chance of restoring her life. After inpatient rehab, there are outpatient rehabs where the addict can attend for 2-3 hours a night, three days a week. There are also halfway houses, where they can be monitored more closely. Libertae, Incorporated, in Bensalem is a terrific one for women. I did a social work internship there, and am good friends with the director. www.libertae.org
I will pray for your niece, and her family.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Thanks Trish - she is definitely in denial about everything she has done - the saddest part is she had been clean for almost 3 years - had married, had 2 babies and a very decent life but has thrown it all away because she cannot stay away from the drugs - this time it was crack, but I guess it doesn't matter what your drug of choice is - it takes over all your senses and you throw everything away for it. She even hocked her children's bunk beds to get money for drugs - how sad is that?
I hope and pray she stays in rehab and goes into a halfway house from there - I honestly cannot deal with it anymore and watch what it does to my mother - she was always my mother's 'fair-haired' grandchild and to see her fall from grace yet again has totally devastated my mother, and that takes a major toll on my husband and I since she lives with us. I will always love my niece but I can no longer deal with her and her problems.
You guys are a great source of strength and encouragement to me - I pray you can keep fighting your demons as well and are feeling better soon.
Thanks again - Kathy
I hope and pray she stays in rehab and goes into a halfway house from there - I honestly cannot deal with it anymore and watch what it does to my mother - she was always my mother's 'fair-haired' grandchild and to see her fall from grace yet again has totally devastated my mother, and that takes a major toll on my husband and I since she lives with us. I will always love my niece but I can no longer deal with her and her problems.
You guys are a great source of strength and encouragement to me - I pray you can keep fighting your demons as well and are feeling better soon.
Thanks again - Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
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