OT: Some very sad news this morning

I know I had posted on here before about my niece Leah - the one with the RA and all the problems. Not sure if I posted that she had gone through a very terrifying heroin phase, lost her son, lost her home, almost lost her life.

Two years ago she met a wonderful man, got married, had two more children and really seemed to have her life together. Her mother, who had legally adopted her first son, allowed her to see him a lot - having him weekends and holidays.

Guess the pressures of daily life and living got to her, tho, and my sister called from Florida this morning telling me that Leah was off the deep end again - I guess her husband has been covering for her since October when she started back on the drugs, constantly cleaning out their account, and lying through her teeth to family and friends about their financial situation and getting money from her parents, my mother, me, and just about everyone else. Guess he thought he could handle it.

The day after christmas she was here for a visit with her husband and kids, and while she was terribly thin we thought she looked good otherwise and things were fine, but later asked me to cash a check my mom had given her because their account was 'overdrawn' so I went out and got cash and gave it to her, along with money for cutting my husband's hair and a VISA gift card for Xmas. Guess it was just too much money and she took off Saturday night, leaving Eric home with the kids.

Things went from bad to worse - she came home all hopped up, lying to him, and he beat her up pretty good. She called the cops and took off, he got arrested, they called my ex sister-in-law to come get the children and my brother is driving up from Florida now.

What happens to these people?? She's so beautiful - had a beautiful life and family - sure they had some money struggles and stuff, but nothing they couldn't get through.

My heart is breaking - I know my mother is home taking her 'little white pills' to keep herself calm - and the funny thing is that my mom asked me yesterday if I thought Leah was back on the stuff and I said no, I really didn't think so, and I didn't. But drug addicts are consumate liars and she ranks right up there with the best of them.

I'm half in tears all morning - just don't know what to do next, if anything. I guess what scares me more than anything is that she is so thin that if she does OD now, which happens a lot to people going back on drugs, she won't have enough left in her to fight it and it will kill her. I don't know what is going to happen to her children - or her husband. He was NEVER abusive, but I guess she just pushed him over the edge with this one, and I feel terrible for him now, too.

Sorry for the rambling...just not sure what to do next...thanks for listening.

Kathy - I am so sorry to hear about your neice. Thoughts and prayers headed out to you and your family. ALso praying for strength for Leah that she can get back on the wagon and pull her life together.

Liz

Kathy,

I am truly sorry that your family and her "new" family are going through this.  The nature of drug addiction is baffling for many and sadly unless the person wants help and is willing to go through the process of getting it and staying connected to help post treatment, there is not much anyone can do.  You can pray and hope to God that she is not one of the many who meets the final destination without ever having realized that there is hope and that life without drugs can be awesome.  I should know, having once been an addict in full blown addiction, now clean and sober over 22 years.  I will pray for your niece and hope that her trap door hits her hard enough that she reaches out and gets help before it is too late.

Sending you and your family my heartfelt best wishes.

Laureen

Kathy,

I am so sorry you are going through this, along with Leah and her family.  My sister-in-law's nephew (her brother's son) is drug addicted to heroin, and it has been devastating for the family.  He's 32 and such a cute fellow.  Sadly, the devil keeps bringing him back down after he's detoxed.  He's been in and out of rehab, and his family is fearful he will hurt them.  He lives in his parents' basement.  His parents basically are raising his 8-year-old son whose mother took off and left them (before the drug addiction when the boy was 1).  I fear death for him one day.  Prayers being uplifted for you and your family.

Debbie

Kathy,

Being through similar roads with my brother, my heart breaks for you and your family.  Take it one step at a time and keep you and your immediate family close and support each other.  Unfortunately, until the addict themselves are willing to take control, there is very little you can do.

The only thing you can do is to not enable her any further.  No money, no lying for her, no covering.  It is heartbreaking to do and will most likely raise some issues on her part and cause outbursts, but you must do what needs to be done for you and the rest of the family.

You will all be in my thoughts and prayers.  And yes, addicts are some of the best liars and cover up people around.  I am "trained" to see addict tendencies and my own brother was an addict for YEARS before I knew anything.

Hugs.

Pam

Kathy -

We all have our demons. Prior to my WLS, I was beating myself up because I couldn't lose weight without surgery.  It seemed so simple for most people to control what they ate; I didn't understand why I couldn't do that, too.

Recently, I became aware that my brother is an alcoholic. I should have acknowledged this long ago, based on how much he drank, but it's easy to deny the things that we don't really want to see. Recent incindents with my brother make it impossible to deny his addiction anymore.

With that being said, I appreciate my WLS even more.  My food addiction (and yes, that's what it was) was cured with surgery. I still have some struggles, but not the every day struggles that I used to have. I commented to my other brother that I wished that Rick could have surgery to cure him, like I had surgery to cure me.  Even with all of our struggles, maybe we WLS folks are the "lucky" addicts. We have a tool to help us.

Your neice and the rest of your family  will be in my thoughts and prayers.  I wish you peace in the new year.  

Beth

 

 

So sorry to hear this,my prayers go out to you and your family!

Kathy -
I'm sorry to hear about the troubles in your family.  I know it must be especially hard at this time of year.  Holidays are supposed to be a happy time.
Hang in there.
Lisa

I know exactly what your going through. My beautiful, loving and well loved brother is a victim to this drug. It is at times easier to try to stop loving them , than to understand why they keep doing this to themselves. You would do yourself a world of good to find yourself a AL-ANON meeting for family and friends of addicts. It will help you understand more about the disease and how to find ways to not help it along. Addicts have a joke  "how do you know when an addict is lying? They are talking"
Its not your disease but it really helps you sleep at night after finding a great support system in AL-ANON.
My prayers are with you, I wish you the best of luck
Many people beat this disease and live wonderful lives.
                     -Lynn

I am so sorry to hear that you are going throught this terrrible pain. I will be thinking of you and your family and praying for you.