I need your opinion..

my 5 year old daughter is emulating my behavior. SO that being said if I jump on the scale she jumps on the scale. I have stopped weighing myself everyday since she was doing that at the same time I was. Yesterday she told me why I have not gotten on my Elliptical on Friday and Saturday but got on it on Sunday. hehe. At least she is holding me accountable. I have been exercising 5-6 times daily sometimes 5. My weight has stabilized and I am not trying to lose anymore. Don't get me wrong I like the fact that she is holding me accountable BUT a co-worker mentioned that I might be giving my daughter the wrong idea at a very young age. Is that what I am doing? I don't know anymore BUT I do not want my daughter to go thru what I had to go thru growing up. My daughter is healthy and eats healthy for most part and she constantly tells me she wants to eat lots of fruits and veggies and no candy. I almost fell out of my chair when she told me that. lol. BUT I have told her that it's okay to have a treat once in a while and in moderation and after all she is a child but now I am so confused on what to tell my daughter. In other words how do I teach my 5 year the importance of eating right and exercising without making her think that she needs to be a certain weight or clothing size?

Sorry this post is long.

I would have to say at 5 yes your giving her the wrong impression...at any young age it's wrong, my sister weighs 105 and she has always weighed that much..the bad part of that is she is constantly telling everyone she is FAT.  She has 3 daughters and even though they are in their late 20's now they will be the first to admit that their outlook on weight and body image is damaged because of their mother.  You can guide your child in the right direction with healthy food and at 5 I'm sure she's getting enough exercise herself without needing any advice on that right now.  It's gonna have to start with you to change your ways with working on YOU and healthy food and exercise, it's going to be hard but she shouldnt have to worry about if her mommy has done exercises today or is eating healthy.  Have fun with it but dont over do it when it comes to doing it with or around her. 

Children are so impressionable at that young age and its probably not all you - between TV, magazines, newspapers touting these beautiful, flawless bodies its no wonder so many young girls have self-esteem issues. I've had this talk with my daughter because she is always berating herself for not being tiny and picks out every tiny flaw that she imagines she has - her girls are now doing the same. My youngest granddaughter told me she has 'big' hands - the child does NOT have big hands but she heard her mother say she had big hands so now she thinks she does too.

I think you set a very positive attitude with exercise and healthy eating now, but I wouldn't let her see me get on the scale on a daily basis - I'm sure there is a time you can do that without her around. And just keep talking to her about being healthy, not skinny - and to not believe that all those models and actresses actually look like that, because most of them don't! Keep fruit around since she loves it - enjoy good protein shakes with her - and hey, maybe instead of the eliptical take her along for a walk once in a while or do some dance videos or things like that with her - she'd probably love that - get her started early with good habits and she won't end up like the rest of us with surgically altered stomachs!

Good luck, Shilpa - I know you're a great mom and will handle this the right way.

Thanks Kathy! I knew I would find great answers on this board. Ria does take a dance class and I have been shaking my booty along with her and we go for long walks all the time since she has to walk home after kindergarten (No school Bus) but she just is such a food police it's not even funny. I swear I have not been influencing her in any shape or form about excercising and jumping on the scale. My husband hid the scale again from me and for the most part because she was getting on it. The scale keeps me accountable but I do it when she is not around.

Shilpa,

At 5, she probably wants to be just like Mom!

You can talk with her and make the following points:

Healthy eating is good for the whole family.

It is okay to have a treat every so often - everyone enjoys that!

Mom's body is different from hers because mom is older. Mom gets her exercise on the elliptical. Children get their exercise from playing, dance class, taking walks, and sports. All of these are good ways to exercise.

You are proud of how healthy she is!

And yes, weigh yourself with the door closed.

Shilpa,

This is such a "weighted" subject with so much baggage for us.  What you're describing sounds like normal 5-year-old behavior - wanting to be "just like mommy."  It's akin to trying on your clothes and putting on your lipstick.  Her being your "food police" is just another way for her to build the bond with you.  Resist the urge to read more into it than there is.

Having said that, she will absorb your actions more than your words.  If she sees you exercise daily (and in a healthy way), she'll grow up feeling that exercise is something you just DO - not something special, or onerous, or whatever.  If she sees you eat healthy foods and is presented with healthy foods as a matter of routine, that's what she'll develop a taste for as she grows.  Again - not making a big deal of out making healthy choices being somehow "special" or "different."

AND... if she sees you get on the scale every day and fret about the number it says, she'll think that's normal behavior. 

Use her reactions as a barometer to help you see when you're going overboard in any particular area.  Kids are (unconsciously) good at telling us things about ourselves, when we see them parrot something back and recognize its source.  

Don't worry so much!  You're a great parent and a great role model.  Be gentle with yourself and love yourself - those are the very best examples you can give her!

Hugs,
Karen

My suggestion to you would be for you to focus your comments on food and exercise to have the following slant: Eating from all food groups and regular physical activity promotes good health. Good health means having energy to enjoy whatever activity you care to participate in. It means shiny hair, clear skin, a glow in one's eyes, a bounch to your step. Use the word normal instead of thin. Avoiding junk food except for an occasional treat helps a person avoid getting sick. These are all positive ways to talk about food and exercise. Commend her for making "smarter", "better" choices rather than having you or your daughter focus on a clothing size or  a number on the scale, or a certain food or food group. This has to be an ongoing way of thinking and being. I wish you the best.
Chris