What to say to family and friends
Welcome! I hope you stay around!
Anyway....I told my parents, my brothers, and my in laws. As far as family is concerned, that is all that know. I see my ffamily often, and it was obvious I was losing weight at a rapid pace. I believe some of them "suspect" I had surgery but I never came out and told them.
I have told them my "new" eating habits. I don't eat sugary or fatty foods. I don't graze. I eat 6 small meals a day. I work out often. None of that is false, and none of that is a lie. And now that I'm two years out - let's be real - MOST of the maintenance of my goal weight is on those principals and those principals alone.
I have a lot of friends who do know. All of my co workers at the job I was at during the time of surgery knew. I chose to tell them because I am a nurse and wanted their medical opinions and support in the time directly after surgery.
It's all on what you feel is necessary. For me, WLS was viewed very negatively in my family. And when I was preparing for surgery I did not want to have those negative feelings and comments surrounding me. I love my family - but trying to convince them about something they already "know" (which is normally founded on opinions and not facts) - well - it's easier to teach a horse to fly. So, I did not want the arguments either.
Good luck!
Pam
Anyway....I told my parents, my brothers, and my in laws. As far as family is concerned, that is all that know. I see my ffamily often, and it was obvious I was losing weight at a rapid pace. I believe some of them "suspect" I had surgery but I never came out and told them.
I have told them my "new" eating habits. I don't eat sugary or fatty foods. I don't graze. I eat 6 small meals a day. I work out often. None of that is false, and none of that is a lie. And now that I'm two years out - let's be real - MOST of the maintenance of my goal weight is on those principals and those principals alone.
I have a lot of friends who do know. All of my co workers at the job I was at during the time of surgery knew. I chose to tell them because I am a nurse and wanted their medical opinions and support in the time directly after surgery.
It's all on what you feel is necessary. For me, WLS was viewed very negatively in my family. And when I was preparing for surgery I did not want to have those negative feelings and comments surrounding me. I love my family - but trying to convince them about something they already "know" (which is normally founded on opinions and not facts) - well - it's easier to teach a horse to fly. So, I did not want the arguments either.
Good luck!
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
I didn't read everyone elses posts. So sorry if my response mimmicks or is complete opposite of everyone elses.
Me? I told people. I didn't just blurt it out or pin a sign to my shirt. But I realized that people ARE going to know. Be realistic. it's virtually impossible to lose weight at that speed and people not realize you had a procedure. People are well aware that this surgery is out there.
I had ZERO support. So remember, I told everyone but had negative reactions from all friends and family. Everyone thought I was making a huge mistake. "I could do it without surgery" blah, blah, blah!
I heard it all. But *I* knew what I needed to do. I knew what was right for me. I was confident in my decision. So I didn't care. Now, no one cares, and trust me, the "excitement" of it all wears of quickly and people move on to other subjects and things to worry or talk about.
Just my opinion, but it's easier to just be honest about it. then you aren't back peddling and covering for appts or issues in the future. Be upfront. answer questions about it honestly and with educated answers. If you get negative responses, just be firm and tell them it's *your* decision, thank you for the concerns but you will do what is right for you.
Just my opinion of course.......you have to be confident, content and sure of all this before you can tell people.
Me? I told people. I didn't just blurt it out or pin a sign to my shirt. But I realized that people ARE going to know. Be realistic. it's virtually impossible to lose weight at that speed and people not realize you had a procedure. People are well aware that this surgery is out there.
I had ZERO support. So remember, I told everyone but had negative reactions from all friends and family. Everyone thought I was making a huge mistake. "I could do it without surgery" blah, blah, blah!
I heard it all. But *I* knew what I needed to do. I knew what was right for me. I was confident in my decision. So I didn't care. Now, no one cares, and trust me, the "excitement" of it all wears of quickly and people move on to other subjects and things to worry or talk about.
Just my opinion, but it's easier to just be honest about it. then you aren't back peddling and covering for appts or issues in the future. Be upfront. answer questions about it honestly and with educated answers. If you get negative responses, just be firm and tell them it's *your* decision, thank you for the concerns but you will do what is right for you.
Just my opinion of course.......you have to be confident, content and sure of all this before you can tell people.
When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila & salt and give me a call!
Welcome to the boards and you've already gotten a lot of good, well thought out responses and as someone who never had a hard time telling people that I had (or was going to have) WLS, I have nothing really to add. You will know what to do and when to do it, just do some personal soul searching.
Best wishes, Laureen
Best wishes, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
R K.
on 11/22/09 10:01 pm
on 11/22/09 10:01 pm
jojobear98 I agree 100%. I prefer to keep my integrity intact. Really, who that we deal with on a regular basis isn`t going to figure it out any way? Maybe girls are different but for most guys the most important thing is their word aka integrity and I would never want to give doubts about that.
Heck it`s not gender reassignment surgery it`s just WLS, you`re not changing your first name.
Heck it`s not gender reassignment surgery it`s just WLS, you`re not changing your first name.
*
"If I only had three words of advice, they would be, Tell the Truth. If got three more words, I'd add, all the time."
— Randy Pausch
"If I only had three words of advice, they would be, Tell the Truth. If got three more words, I'd add, all the time."
— Randy Pausch
Hi,
I had RNY and only my immediate family knew beforehand....I didn't want people who were not educated and well informed on RNY to discourage me with horror stories. Now, I openly tell people I have had RNY. It doesn't bother me at all. Everyone is different, and I'm sure you'll do what's best for you. Good luck with your Lap-Band.
Debbie
I had RNY and only my immediate family knew beforehand....I didn't want people who were not educated and well informed on RNY to discourage me with horror stories. Now, I openly tell people I have had RNY. It doesn't bother me at all. Everyone is different, and I'm sure you'll do what's best for you. Good luck with your Lap-Band.
Debbie
Welcome. I am glad that you posted and I am sure that you are going to get a variety of answers. Basically it all comes down to what is best for you. You have made a decision to better your life, and the decision of who to share that with is completely yours as well. I am a "shout it from the rooftops" kind of girl. I am proud of the decision I made, I am proud of the fact that I am reclaiming my life, I am proud that I am doing what I can to make myself healthier and happier. I am in control of my life. I also take the opportunity to educate as many people as will listen to me. Let's face it weight loss surgery is one of those things that carries a huge stigma in our society and is viewed as the weak or easy way out. Those of us who are living with this decision know that couldn't be further from the truth. I guess the way I see it is that it is up to us to educate the rest of society because if we don't then who else will. I told everyone. My family although worried about possible complications was very supportive and is very proud of me. But if you feel that you family and or friends would surround you with negative input then maybe you don't need that atmosphere going into your new life. Good luck with everything and keep us posted on your progress. This board is full of amazing people with lots of amazing advice. Belinda
Hiya-
Had my surgery on 12/26/08. I only told the person who was driving me to and from the hospital and folks on this message board. Everyone else in my life (parents, siblings, friends) found out afterwards and I was two days into recovering.
I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed; it was just that everyone in the world has an opinion on folks' lives at times so it was best for me and my mental piece of mind to do it that way.
Hope this helps!
Chanel
Had my surgery on 12/26/08. I only told the person who was driving me to and from the hospital and folks on this message board. Everyone else in my life (parents, siblings, friends) found out afterwards and I was two days into recovering.
I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed; it was just that everyone in the world has an opinion on folks' lives at times so it was best for me and my mental piece of mind to do it that way.
Hope this helps!
Chanel
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