An apology. . . and some personal experience on particpating in life
Yesterday there was a post and in my response I used a word that in hindsight, I regret, "clicks". . .
I apologize because what may appear to be "clicks" is really just people, who because of their surgery dates, or proximity to where they live, are people who have formed fast friendships and they are by and large not exclusive or unwelcoming to newcomers, so if there was anyone offended by my choice of that word or who may have mistook my meaning, I am sorry.
Further to that I want to say from my own personal experience, when I first started participating on OH, I looked up to many of the people who came before me in adoration and awe, so by participating on here (OH), I began to feel a sense of belonging which went a long way towards helping me when I finally got to a support group. I did have a certain expectation of friendship, which has happened, but it largely happened because of the time I invested on OH and in putting myself out there, which is still sometimes a scary thing.
Being "obese" was just another way for me to feel somehow less acceptable in social situations, I wanted to have friendships, yet, oftentimes, I stood back afraid I would be rejected or believing that I was somehow flawed which I've come to realize through years of working on myself, that is my "dis ease" or if you like the committee that exists between my ears (my thinking), telling me there is something less likeable about me because of this or that, so what I am getting at here is I must combat that sort of "dis ease" by taking actions that, while never easy, help show me that my thinking is oftentimes off and participating in life means taking risks and in doing so, sometimes there are rewards to it, other times lessons to be had.
I've been in recovery from one thing or another these past 22 years and since having WLS I have learned more about this "dis ease" of addiction and as a result myself, because today I face life by making better choices and being a participator, instead of hiding behind my addictions. It takes work, it takes time, it takes courage and it is never done. Shauna's coined term "successing" comes to mind here, as so long as we live and breath, we will never have succeeded, but are on the road "successing" and that road has potholes and detours, but we have tools on how to find our way back. A big part of those tools, are the people who populate this board and the support group meetings!
If you are reading this, thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and opinions.
Have a wonderful day! Participate in your life, you are worth it!
I apologize because what may appear to be "clicks" is really just people, who because of their surgery dates, or proximity to where they live, are people who have formed fast friendships and they are by and large not exclusive or unwelcoming to newcomers, so if there was anyone offended by my choice of that word or who may have mistook my meaning, I am sorry.
Further to that I want to say from my own personal experience, when I first started participating on OH, I looked up to many of the people who came before me in adoration and awe, so by participating on here (OH), I began to feel a sense of belonging which went a long way towards helping me when I finally got to a support group. I did have a certain expectation of friendship, which has happened, but it largely happened because of the time I invested on OH and in putting myself out there, which is still sometimes a scary thing.
Being "obese" was just another way for me to feel somehow less acceptable in social situations, I wanted to have friendships, yet, oftentimes, I stood back afraid I would be rejected or believing that I was somehow flawed which I've come to realize through years of working on myself, that is my "dis ease" or if you like the committee that exists between my ears (my thinking), telling me there is something less likeable about me because of this or that, so what I am getting at here is I must combat that sort of "dis ease" by taking actions that, while never easy, help show me that my thinking is oftentimes off and participating in life means taking risks and in doing so, sometimes there are rewards to it, other times lessons to be had.
I've been in recovery from one thing or another these past 22 years and since having WLS I have learned more about this "dis ease" of addiction and as a result myself, because today I face life by making better choices and being a participator, instead of hiding behind my addictions. It takes work, it takes time, it takes courage and it is never done. Shauna's coined term "successing" comes to mind here, as so long as we live and breath, we will never have succeeded, but are on the road "successing" and that road has potholes and detours, but we have tools on how to find our way back. A big part of those tools, are the people who populate this board and the support group meetings!
If you are reading this, thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and opinions.
Have a wonderful day! Participate in your life, you are worth it!
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Laureen,
Very well written and thought out. I applaud your thoughts and appreciate them too. Now, I am going out to 'participate' in my life!
Thanks!
Beth
Very well written and thought out. I applaud your thoughts and appreciate them too. Now, I am going out to 'participate' in my life!
Thanks!
Beth
You can't measure your achievements with someone else's yardstick!
Revision from lapband to RNY 12/26/17 with Dr. Caitlin Halbert
HW 260 SW 248 CW 154 GW 145
Gallbladder removed 9/18
Beth
Laureen,
I personally didn't take offense to your use of the word "clicks" because I feel the same way you do about the amount of time spent on OH helping to start friendships before you ever meet in person. Perhaps because of those same strings, I didn't even look twice at the word. However, as someone who is "newer" to the group, i could understand how that may have been taken out of context.
It's amazing how close you can be to someone, here, on the internet, without actually meeting them face to face - and when you finally do - it's like you've known them for a LONG time (probably because you have) What comes to mind, for me, specifically is Liz. I talked to her for about a year here on OH before I met her at the pilgramage. And we already knew so much about each other, picking up in person was no big deal!
Thank you for your continued words of understanding, inspiration, and teaching. Although only a few weeks ahead of me surgery wise, your knowledge and continued successing has always been, and continues to be, a huge source of inspiration to me, and I'm sure many others!
Pam
I personally didn't take offense to your use of the word "clicks" because I feel the same way you do about the amount of time spent on OH helping to start friendships before you ever meet in person. Perhaps because of those same strings, I didn't even look twice at the word. However, as someone who is "newer" to the group, i could understand how that may have been taken out of context.
It's amazing how close you can be to someone, here, on the internet, without actually meeting them face to face - and when you finally do - it's like you've known them for a LONG time (probably because you have) What comes to mind, for me, specifically is Liz. I talked to her for about a year here on OH before I met her at the pilgramage. And we already knew so much about each other, picking up in person was no big deal!
Thank you for your continued words of understanding, inspiration, and teaching. Although only a few weeks ahead of me surgery wise, your knowledge and continued successing has always been, and continues to be, a huge source of inspiration to me, and I'm sure many others!
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
Laureen here's the term "meant to be" because certain people we tend to bond with or "go to" such as you and I and quite a few people share a love of animals so we have that in common or certain people need some advice so we go to some of the people who posted about the similar things and certain people such as our Pam we go to for medical advice and when we need to be told like it is go to Norm or Mary , Susan, Beth, Dennis and Shauna or Mike or Katie you get my drift so because we have this surgery and alot of things in common I didn't take offense as a matter of fact didn't even notice the word. Certain people have certain issues in common and feel more comfortable discussing them with each other. I mean if I needed cooking I would go to Liz or Pam and someone who may need animal advice I would hope I would be their go to person. Its like because of our similar journeys we are meant to be in each other's lives if that makes sense. I think that because of what we went thru physically and emotionally it bonds us together. And its funny how alot of us feel we can confide and communicate with each other better than our other friends and families that didn't have this surgery. Someone once made the comment that we are a community unto ourselves. Does that make sense? I know that I feel and think and behave alot differently since I had my surgery.
Laureen,
I appreciate your post, though I did not see yesterday's. I tend to hang back here, and rarely get to Barix, partly from my own busyness, and partly out of fear. I am the same way at times in AA. I am not a go-getter there. It is funny, because I immerse myself in both my jobs and at my church. I have a fear in the support circles, and I am not sure what it is about. It may have something to do with the level of intimacy that goes with the support networks.
It is weird, because I have your phone number in my phones and have enjoyed talking to you, the few times I have called you. I even ordered a book you suggested, though I have not cracked it open yet.
You have given me stuff to think about in my own recovery journey. I appreciate that in you. Every time I read one of your well thought out posts, I am challenged to self-examine an area I have not looked at in my own life. You have a gift, and I am grateful for you in my life, even if it is just on OH, or the few times I get to Barix.
Hugs,
Trish
I appreciate your post, though I did not see yesterday's. I tend to hang back here, and rarely get to Barix, partly from my own busyness, and partly out of fear. I am the same way at times in AA. I am not a go-getter there. It is funny, because I immerse myself in both my jobs and at my church. I have a fear in the support circles, and I am not sure what it is about. It may have something to do with the level of intimacy that goes with the support networks.
It is weird, because I have your phone number in my phones and have enjoyed talking to you, the few times I have called you. I even ordered a book you suggested, though I have not cracked it open yet.
You have given me stuff to think about in my own recovery journey. I appreciate that in you. Every time I read one of your well thought out posts, I am challenged to self-examine an area I have not looked at in my own life. You have a gift, and I am grateful for you in my life, even if it is just on OH, or the few times I get to Barix.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Most Active
Recent Topics
