Just plain scared!
I have been so busy the last few weeks with cheerleading and pee wee football that the time has just flown by. Over the weekend as I was getting ready to go a football game, my daughter said to me "pretty soon mom you will be in your small jeans I cant wait to see you skinny" Those words coming from a 7 year old stop me dead in my tracks, and I started thinking OMG I have less then 2 weeks left and my life as I know will be changed. i will be honest I am scared to death, I am so excited to get my life back, but worried about the unknown. Am I going to be alright, will everything go ok, what happens when I get home, can I do this on my own. all the horror stories I have heard in the past of complications, and being sick all the time all of this runs through my head. I know I have prepared myself for this, i know this is a life decision and I know that I will be ok. I have waited this long and struggled for so many years and in 13 days I will struggle no more, I can not wrap my head around the concept of being healthy and no longer moribidly obese. Your emotions are a wicked thing, I was making my grocery list out last night and thought about some of those food that I love, wow am I going to miss them? maybe, maybe not, am I going to know how to eat and what to eat. I have my meals planned out for the first 10 days after I am home from the hospital, but never gave it a thought for after, I have printed off some of the wonderful meals everyone has posted and look forward to trying those, I guess I will have to figure it out as I go. Anyway sorry to rant on, but thanks for listening.
Patty
Patty
Patty,
It is so normal to be thinking all those thoughts right now. You have support from all the wonderful people who populate this forum and we will all be rooting for you to join us over here on the Loser's Bench.
Good luck and rant all you need, if it helps alleviate your fears, which as I said are very normal at this stage of things, then come on back and do what needs to be done.
Best wishes as you make it into the homestretch!
Laureen
It is so normal to be thinking all those thoughts right now. You have support from all the wonderful people who populate this forum and we will all be rooting for you to join us over here on the Loser's Bench.
Good luck and rant all you need, if it helps alleviate your fears, which as I said are very normal at this stage of things, then come on back and do what needs to be done.
Best wishes as you make it into the homestretch!
Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Patty,
What you are feeling is SO NORMAL.
You know, ask any of us whether we'd do this again, knowing what we know now... the answer will be a resounding YES. Ask us whether it's easy - most will answer NO, but it's worth it and it's manageable. There's a lot of hard work involved, mentally, spiritually, and physically... but the payoff is the end of deprivation and the end of feeling miserable every day.
You CAN do this... but you must WANT to do this. And if you want to do this, you are truly making a decision to change your life for the better and you will be ok.
Healthy, coming out of this, is more than just dropping the weight. It's getting healthy in your way of thinking about food and your relationships built around eating. It's getting healthy in the ways in which you MOVE your body and how you look at yourself and carry yourself. It's getting healthy inside yourself as comorbidities drop away or decrease and other things you never really realized were a problem start to improve and change. Health begins to take on a whole new perspective.
The foods that you love? Well, some will be things that down the road you'll find yourself adapting to your new life. Others may be things that you've totally lost your taste for (tastes DO change after surgery, sometimes in surprising ways). Still others may be things that you find are just too dangerous for you (trigger foods for addictive/binge behaviors) and you'll say goodbye to them. BUT... food is just food. It's a set of nutrients. The mindset change behind this is learning to "Eat to live, not live to eat." Once the initial addictions are broken, behavioral change can come into play and you'll find you can live without the dangerous ones and you control when and how much of the others you consume - not the cravings controlling you.
Try NOT to plan too far ahead at this point. Those first 10 days will be very different than anything you've experienced related to food. I don't know your doc's food plan, but be rigorous in sticking to it, and be open to new food experiences along the way. The better you can stick to the plan, the better your results will be from all angles (mentally and physically) for the longest time. As you get into the swing of things post-surgery, planning will change into something that is part of your routine - planning a day, or two days, or a week... whatever works for you. You're going to want and need to switch things up periodically so you don't get into a metabolic rut from your food, so flexibility in planning is also a good thing.
Hope this helps - i know it's long-winded. Sorry!
Karen
What you are feeling is SO NORMAL.
You know, ask any of us whether we'd do this again, knowing what we know now... the answer will be a resounding YES. Ask us whether it's easy - most will answer NO, but it's worth it and it's manageable. There's a lot of hard work involved, mentally, spiritually, and physically... but the payoff is the end of deprivation and the end of feeling miserable every day.
You CAN do this... but you must WANT to do this. And if you want to do this, you are truly making a decision to change your life for the better and you will be ok.
Healthy, coming out of this, is more than just dropping the weight. It's getting healthy in your way of thinking about food and your relationships built around eating. It's getting healthy in the ways in which you MOVE your body and how you look at yourself and carry yourself. It's getting healthy inside yourself as comorbidities drop away or decrease and other things you never really realized were a problem start to improve and change. Health begins to take on a whole new perspective.
The foods that you love? Well, some will be things that down the road you'll find yourself adapting to your new life. Others may be things that you've totally lost your taste for (tastes DO change after surgery, sometimes in surprising ways). Still others may be things that you find are just too dangerous for you (trigger foods for addictive/binge behaviors) and you'll say goodbye to them. BUT... food is just food. It's a set of nutrients. The mindset change behind this is learning to "Eat to live, not live to eat." Once the initial addictions are broken, behavioral change can come into play and you'll find you can live without the dangerous ones and you control when and how much of the others you consume - not the cravings controlling you.
Try NOT to plan too far ahead at this point. Those first 10 days will be very different than anything you've experienced related to food. I don't know your doc's food plan, but be rigorous in sticking to it, and be open to new food experiences along the way. The better you can stick to the plan, the better your results will be from all angles (mentally and physically) for the longest time. As you get into the swing of things post-surgery, planning will change into something that is part of your routine - planning a day, or two days, or a week... whatever works for you. You're going to want and need to switch things up periodically so you don't get into a metabolic rut from your food, so flexibility in planning is also a good thing.
Hope this helps - i know it's long-winded. Sorry!
Karen
Thank you, I find your words very encouraging and settling. Karen, Thank you, I have printed off your post and will keep that as a constant reminder to take this one day at a time!
Out side of this board I don't find the answers to many of my questions or no place to voice my concerns and to calm my fears, you all are truly a blessing and it is nice to know there is support out there from people who have been there, done that. Thank you
Patty
Out side of this board I don't find the answers to many of my questions or no place to voice my concerns and to calm my fears, you all are truly a blessing and it is nice to know there is support out there from people who have been there, done that. Thank you
Patty
Patty:
I feel ya girl!! My date is November 11th (8 days). I feel............. scared, excited, nervous. I also am a planner, I have planned food for the family so I don't have to smell and prepare anything. My husband is a great cook so he is in charge. I am doing the pre-op diet now and it is not that bad. Just keep trying to remember why we are doing this, and if you need to talk to someone who is going through it too, I am all ears.
Anita
I feel ya girl!! My date is November 11th (8 days). I feel............. scared, excited, nervous. I also am a planner, I have planned food for the family so I don't have to smell and prepare anything. My husband is a great cook so he is in charge. I am doing the pre-op diet now and it is not that bad. Just keep trying to remember why we are doing this, and if you need to talk to someone who is going through it too, I am all ears.
Anita
Live, Laugh, Love 
WOW, being 3.5+ years out I rarely stop in my tracks but your post did that and brought me back HOME to the beginning. Sorry ahead of time for being long-winded. I have alot more oxygen at the ready these days.....
In retrospect let me share a couple things.... first off you do change and you DON'T change overnight. If you have co-morbids like HPB, GERD and diabetes they and there meds will be gone usually within 6 weeks. That went MUCH faster than I expected; makes you realize the role the "gut" and proper nutrition plays in our diseases. Being in smaller clothes took about 6 mos, which was SLOWER than I expected, expected more instant gratification I guess. I was wearing the same stuff for 7 mos with only the little comments (new haircut?) then all of a sudden went down 3 sizes in 2 mos. and was being told I was "emaciated"; at 200lbs??? NAH. That's where swapping and Goodwill comes in.
If you are thinking in terms of "getting your life back" then I assume you were thin(ner) and active before? Good for you. You will recognize yourself when you see yourself again. Some of us have never been there. Therefore, we DON"T recognize us in the mirror and it's a very frightening surreal experience to see that stranger. And we discover transfer addictions to cope; get a counselor asap; I didn't, I should have. Do yourself a favor, make exercise your new addiction and do it with your kids so they make it a habit early in their lives to be active. It will also be a bonding experience and TOTALLY helps with stress. As for food and drinks, in the beginning it's a week by week experience so subtle that wk 1 you like your water warm, wk 2 at room temp and by wk 6 you can handle it cold. You might love chicken, it might not love you. It's ALL experimenting.
As for the cheerleading and pee wee football, therein lies my biggest concern for you. YES, I understand that you want and need to do those things but YOU must understand that during your first 3 mos. of recovery you will fluctuate alot. 98% of the time I felt fabulous; I was one of the "high" ones, didn't get depressed, no hormonal moments or crying jags; absolutely the easiest surgery and recovery I'd ever had....didn't think I'd done anything spectacular to my body and then whammo, you get the foamies and hurl at the wheel while driving to work cause the guy at Dunkin Donuts used 2% milk and not Nonfat (ruined several outfits that way) and realize CRAP! this is because I altered my body and you get scared. YOU must be No. 1 in all ways for those 3 mos. You must be gentle to your body while healing and you need to set up a support system so that if you aren't feeling superfantastic someone else can help out with your kids during these activities because you will HAVE to lie down. Stress can tend to close down your pouch, making you more prone to foamies and dumping thus opening you up for discomforts you don't need to feel so don't push yourself too hard. This is where the family and hubby get their reality check and where changes if approached "positively" and discussed ahead of time can result in a healthier family as a whole. Let them "help you" and "support you" til the 6th mo. when you are basically back to normal and have figured your new self out; you are only thinner and WAY more active. Good Luck, it's quite a ride, fun and serious all at the same time but not as frightening as you think. Many WOWs to you...
In retrospect let me share a couple things.... first off you do change and you DON'T change overnight. If you have co-morbids like HPB, GERD and diabetes they and there meds will be gone usually within 6 weeks. That went MUCH faster than I expected; makes you realize the role the "gut" and proper nutrition plays in our diseases. Being in smaller clothes took about 6 mos, which was SLOWER than I expected, expected more instant gratification I guess. I was wearing the same stuff for 7 mos with only the little comments (new haircut?) then all of a sudden went down 3 sizes in 2 mos. and was being told I was "emaciated"; at 200lbs??? NAH. That's where swapping and Goodwill comes in.
If you are thinking in terms of "getting your life back" then I assume you were thin(ner) and active before? Good for you. You will recognize yourself when you see yourself again. Some of us have never been there. Therefore, we DON"T recognize us in the mirror and it's a very frightening surreal experience to see that stranger. And we discover transfer addictions to cope; get a counselor asap; I didn't, I should have. Do yourself a favor, make exercise your new addiction and do it with your kids so they make it a habit early in their lives to be active. It will also be a bonding experience and TOTALLY helps with stress. As for food and drinks, in the beginning it's a week by week experience so subtle that wk 1 you like your water warm, wk 2 at room temp and by wk 6 you can handle it cold. You might love chicken, it might not love you. It's ALL experimenting.
As for the cheerleading and pee wee football, therein lies my biggest concern for you. YES, I understand that you want and need to do those things but YOU must understand that during your first 3 mos. of recovery you will fluctuate alot. 98% of the time I felt fabulous; I was one of the "high" ones, didn't get depressed, no hormonal moments or crying jags; absolutely the easiest surgery and recovery I'd ever had....didn't think I'd done anything spectacular to my body and then whammo, you get the foamies and hurl at the wheel while driving to work cause the guy at Dunkin Donuts used 2% milk and not Nonfat (ruined several outfits that way) and realize CRAP! this is because I altered my body and you get scared. YOU must be No. 1 in all ways for those 3 mos. You must be gentle to your body while healing and you need to set up a support system so that if you aren't feeling superfantastic someone else can help out with your kids during these activities because you will HAVE to lie down. Stress can tend to close down your pouch, making you more prone to foamies and dumping thus opening you up for discomforts you don't need to feel so don't push yourself too hard. This is where the family and hubby get their reality check and where changes if approached "positively" and discussed ahead of time can result in a healthier family as a whole. Let them "help you" and "support you" til the 6th mo. when you are basically back to normal and have figured your new self out; you are only thinner and WAY more active. Good Luck, it's quite a ride, fun and serious all at the same time but not as frightening as you think. Many WOWs to you...
Jackie J. 
1 choice @ a time > 1 day @ a time. Slow to Succeed is still Success ;-)
Thanks. Jackie, another inspiration to print off as a constant reminder. Yes, I at one time was a heatlhy 175 pounds for the last 8 years or so I have struggled to take the weight off I had gained durning and after pregancy. I took all the time to take care of my daughter and my husband and put my needs and wants and health on the back burner, I never considered myself obese, until one day I was sitting in the room of a orthopedic surgeon waiting on a consult for knee surgery and I happend to look at my file thats when I saw "32 year old morbid obese female" it was at that point I decided to do something, I quit smoking I joined a gym(which I have access to at work) joined weigh****chers and lost 7 pounds and haulted.
Cheerleading and football are soon over as a matter of fact our team has a super bowl game this weekend in Harrisburg once that is done the season is over so then it is me time. I scheduled a 1 hour massage for myself on the 13th as a treat to me to help me relax.
Thank you again, your words do not fall on deaf ears.
Patty
Cheerleading and football are soon over as a matter of fact our team has a super bowl game this weekend in Harrisburg once that is done the season is over so then it is me time. I scheduled a 1 hour massage for myself on the 13th as a treat to me to help me relax.
Thank you again, your words do not fall on deaf ears.
Patty
Welcome to the home stretch. Just keep coming here and venting those feelings, and before you know it you will be on the loser's bench smiling and starting your new life. There will still be worries and concerns, heck there always is with life in general, but you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you are in control and fighting to win your life back for yourself and your kids. It is a great feeling. Good luck. Belinda
Patty,
I don't think anyone has approached this surgery without episodes of fear. Change is always scarey, but keep in mind not everyone has complications after surgery. While learning your new lifestyle and adjusting to the new food program will have some discomforts, I for one had no major problems of any sort. The only time I got sick was when I ate too much when I was fairly early out. You can very well fly through all these changes with smooth currents. I wish you the best.
Chris
I don't think anyone has approached this surgery without episodes of fear. Change is always scarey, but keep in mind not everyone has complications after surgery. While learning your new lifestyle and adjusting to the new food program will have some discomforts, I for one had no major problems of any sort. The only time I got sick was when I ate too much when I was fairly early out. You can very well fly through all these changes with smooth currents. I wish you the best.
Chris
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