label ? and a VENT
Good afternoon all...Let me start by asking a question....I am a little over 2 weeks out and am now on a combined pured and soft foods....when i go grocery shopping what should I look for on the labels....how much sugar, carbs, fat, calories....is there set guidelines.....My Dr said not to worry about calories right now as I don't consume enough to really worry about it yet....but I am being smart and careful(I refuse to fall into old habits).........Also my VENT....I was over my moms visiting last night and my dad had company...this is how he introduced me: This is my oldest daughter Paula she isn't the pretty one unless she has makeup on.....WTH I couldn't believe it, I am a daddy's girl and just couldn't believe my ears...then my mom says, Oh Paula I'm so happy for you and i said oh for what she said cause your starting to get some of your pretty features back in your face.....I just laughed and said as long as i have on make up right.....Then my sister who has always been the skinny one like110 pounds (she is now 235 after kids) said she decided to go on a diet, and explained to her Dr (my employer) and friends that she has to do this because I cannot be skinnier than her,,,,shes always been the skinny one...I was just appalled...I just looked at her and said well I am only 4 punds more than you right now and itll only take me a few more months to get to the hundredes so good luck trying to catch up!
Okay thanks for letting me vent and posting my question.....
Any advice on labels would be great...
Have a great day
Paula
Okay thanks for letting me vent and posting my question.....
Any advice on labels would be great...
Have a great day
Paula
Paula,
Families can be SO toxic. We carry around such baggage from our relationships with them that there's seldom a clear way to find our way through the minefields. I would recommend a private chat with your dad to let him know that you found his comment hurtful, and that in the future you would appreciate just being introduced as "my daughter, Paula" (beauty is, after all, in the eye of the beholder, not the introducer!) without surrounding it with judgement.
As to your mom's comments, give it time. I've been stunned to realize that I'm feeling the same way about my own features... I never realized how "hidden" they were in the puffs of fat until I started really losing it and being able to see my face. You may feel her comment to be less offensive in the future... but, again, a private chat to let her know that your feelings around the issue are sensitive and you would appreciate that she just avoid comments on it at all might be appropriate.
And sibling rivalry rears its ugly head! You're not in a competition, even if your sister tries to make it one. Focus on YOU, not your weight relative to hers. If this galvanizes her to lose some weight and get healthy, then it's a win-win, no matter what her motivation. Sounds like she's got self-esteem issues where her weight is a sensitive point (probably feels inferior to you in a lot of other ways, and this is the one area where she feels "superior")... just laugh it off and clearly say that you're not in a competition.
NOW... as to your primary question... your nutritionist can give you more info on your specific dietary guidelines. At Barix, "label reading" is one of the lessons we spent a good deal of time on with the nutritionist. So assuming you know your daily protein and fat goals (and your doc is right about the cals at this point), you're really looking for foods that are as high as possible in protein while being low in fat (so that ratio is important).
You're also looking at sugar content - general rule from Barix is that if sugar is greater than 2g per serving, look at the ingredients. If any sugar product (dextrose, sugar, high fructose corn syrup, evaporated cane, etc.) is in the first 5 ingredients, stay away from the item. You may also find that you dump if the sugar alcohols are too high (a term relative to individuals). Some people dump with them, others don't. Sugar alcohols are things like maltitol and xylitol that are used as sweeteners in some sugar-free products.
So my recommendation is to sit down with your nutritionist for some clear guidelines on it and a lesson on label-reading for the WLS patient.
Karen
Families can be SO toxic. We carry around such baggage from our relationships with them that there's seldom a clear way to find our way through the minefields. I would recommend a private chat with your dad to let him know that you found his comment hurtful, and that in the future you would appreciate just being introduced as "my daughter, Paula" (beauty is, after all, in the eye of the beholder, not the introducer!) without surrounding it with judgement.
As to your mom's comments, give it time. I've been stunned to realize that I'm feeling the same way about my own features... I never realized how "hidden" they were in the puffs of fat until I started really losing it and being able to see my face. You may feel her comment to be less offensive in the future... but, again, a private chat to let her know that your feelings around the issue are sensitive and you would appreciate that she just avoid comments on it at all might be appropriate.
And sibling rivalry rears its ugly head! You're not in a competition, even if your sister tries to make it one. Focus on YOU, not your weight relative to hers. If this galvanizes her to lose some weight and get healthy, then it's a win-win, no matter what her motivation. Sounds like she's got self-esteem issues where her weight is a sensitive point (probably feels inferior to you in a lot of other ways, and this is the one area where she feels "superior")... just laugh it off and clearly say that you're not in a competition.
NOW... as to your primary question... your nutritionist can give you more info on your specific dietary guidelines. At Barix, "label reading" is one of the lessons we spent a good deal of time on with the nutritionist. So assuming you know your daily protein and fat goals (and your doc is right about the cals at this point), you're really looking for foods that are as high as possible in protein while being low in fat (so that ratio is important).
You're also looking at sugar content - general rule from Barix is that if sugar is greater than 2g per serving, look at the ingredients. If any sugar product (dextrose, sugar, high fructose corn syrup, evaporated cane, etc.) is in the first 5 ingredients, stay away from the item. You may also find that you dump if the sugar alcohols are too high (a term relative to individuals). Some people dump with them, others don't. Sugar alcohols are things like maltitol and xylitol that are used as sweeteners in some sugar-free products.
So my recommendation is to sit down with your nutritionist for some clear guidelines on it and a lesson on label-reading for the WLS patient.
Karen
Karen summed up your label question beautifully - so I won't delve into that.
As far as your family is concerned - wow. I'm sorry you had to hear ANY of that.
I would DEFINATELY take your parents aside and talk to them. Especially your father. And if that doesn't work, the next time you introduce your father say "This is my father, he's not the smartest one unless he keeps his mouth shut" or something along those lines. I know it's mean....but really. You definately need to tell him that his comment be it joking or in seriousness, was not appropriate to verbalize, especially in front of company.
As far as your mother is concerned...I'm not sure how to take that comment nor what to say about it.
And your sister - well - I've had friends who have said similar things to me. Some are still friends because they meant it lovingly and/or were feeling ashamed of how they looked. Some are not because I didn't need their toxicity. I told them all the same thing, in privacy. I asked why it was ok for them to be my friend if I was heavier than them but not ok if visa versa. The ones who are still friends had answers that made the comment null and void. The ones who aren't - had all superficial comments to say. Sisters aren't QUITE that easy.
Sorry you had to go through all that.
Pam
As far as your family is concerned - wow. I'm sorry you had to hear ANY of that.
I would DEFINATELY take your parents aside and talk to them. Especially your father. And if that doesn't work, the next time you introduce your father say "This is my father, he's not the smartest one unless he keeps his mouth shut" or something along those lines. I know it's mean....but really. You definately need to tell him that his comment be it joking or in seriousness, was not appropriate to verbalize, especially in front of company.
As far as your mother is concerned...I'm not sure how to take that comment nor what to say about it.
And your sister - well - I've had friends who have said similar things to me. Some are still friends because they meant it lovingly and/or were feeling ashamed of how they looked. Some are not because I didn't need their toxicity. I told them all the same thing, in privacy. I asked why it was ok for them to be my friend if I was heavier than them but not ok if visa versa. The ones who are still friends had answers that made the comment null and void. The ones who aren't - had all superficial comments to say. Sisters aren't QUITE that easy.
Sorry you had to go through all that.
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
What Pam & Karen said ditto. I would have said wow this is my father mister epidemy of sensitivity isn't he not the brightest crayon in the box or his lights are on and no one is home and your sister I would have said something like it really sucks that you can pick your friends not your family and mom would have been told wow I guess its true that beauty is only skin deep and look right at her or I guess this apple pointing to yourself didn't fall far from the tree pointing at her and when she gets offended and ticked off I would have said to her face now how do you like that one! Notice I didn't put a ? mark at the end of the sentence. And I am too blantent to take them aside I feel if they had no problem making the innapproiate comments in front of people my gloves would come off. The sister I would have looked at and said to her I have purposely lost friends because of comments like yours and don't think I wouldn't hesitate to lose you. I wouldn't worry about being mean to them because they don't worry about being mean to you. Then for a good measure I would have said to them wow how would you like it if someone said those things to you? Anyway I do not make room for people like them in my life.
I too am sorry you had to put up with that. I am sure they didn't even realize how rude they were being. I do love what someone said about next time you introduce your father say "this is my father he is not the smartest one unless he keeps his mouth shut" lol that was funny. Sometimes that is the only way people learn. I wouldn't count on them learning anything. My family is a big part of the reason I ended up overweight to begin with. Just practice letting slide off your back and when you have lost the weight I don't' think it will matter so much. You can get your confidence up and it will get easier. I just think to myself man what a stupid thing to say and move on. I used to let that stuff define how I felt about myself. I still struggle with it sometimes but, I am working on it. I am sure once I have surgery and feel better about myself it will get even easier.
Good luck with your diet and think positive thoughts.
Love and Light
Sharon
Good luck with your diet and think positive thoughts.
Love and Light
Sharon
ditto the other comments about the family items. so sorry!!
My instructions from Lancaster are similar to what Karen put out.
My limit is 3 grams of sugar and 10 grams of fat per meal. Ditto on the sugar item stated... if it comes from a natural source then I can have more grams. Good example is light yogurt. Most of the sugars come from fruit (natural source) and Dairy (natural source).
My instructions from Lancaster are similar to what Karen put out.
My limit is 3 grams of sugar and 10 grams of fat per meal. Ditto on the sugar item stated... if it comes from a natural source then I can have more grams. Good example is light yogurt. Most of the sugars come from fruit (natural source) and Dairy (natural source).
Sandra 
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