Deprivation

Yesterday's Barix support group discussion was on the topic of deprivation.

In particular, how deprivation ENDS the day we have our surgery.

For me, I had a very graphic illustration of this today. I was trying on some clothes that haven't fit in...what?...6 years?....trying to scare up work clothes for the week.

I tried on a winter coat that I purchased on 12/1/04. It still has the tags on it. Never could button that coat, and for most of these years I couldnt' even quite get my arms and shoulders to fit into it. But today...it slipped right on, and it buttons!

Last year, by contrast, I had to discard my old winter coat. It was really worn out, and besides, it didn't fit any more. I certainly couldn't wear it to work with a blazer underneath. Rather than shop for a new coat, I decided to hope for a light winter and just make do with my all weather raincoat (which was also too snug for comfort, but did in fact button).

As you may remember, we didn't have quite the light winter I'd hoped for....

,....but I deprived myself of a new coat. I didn't want to buy one in my true size (so there is some denial happening there too, I recognize). I made a conscious decision not to have a nice coat. I was deprived of a winter coat because of my weight.

What examples of deprivation come to your mind?

I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS.  One year i went to get on one and didn't fit and had to get off.  Have never gotten on one like that since.  I've deprived myself of the rush, the exhilaration, the fun that is a roller coaster.  Not next year baby. 

Thanks for your post it really got me thinking!!

I deprive myself of EVERYTHING, new undies, new bras, new jammies, a beach vacation & a swimsuit, riding in an airplane, a nice dress (I don't even own ONE dress), anything that makes me feel like a women. WOW I really need to work on this stuff.  I keep telling myself, I am not going to buy anything else in the current size I am in, and god forbid I had to buy a bigger size!!!  NO WAY!!! 

This serves as my personal reminder to take some time for me and do something nice for me!!

Thanks Again!!

Shauna's paper was excellent and I had read it before on here and it really does make you think about what deprivation really is, and my best friend in the world (and probably the ONLY person I would tolerate a comment like this from) said to me one day when we went out to eat and I could actually fit into a booth that she remembered me b*tching about booths and chairs being too small in restaurants and she said 'You know Kathy, its not that they were too small - its that you were too big' - and yes, it hurt a smidge, but I knew it was 100% honest and truthful because for so many years I blamed everyone else but myself for the things I was being deprived of: a comfortable airline seat; bigger booths; attractive clothing; cute shoes; going thru turnstiles and cringing because they were cutting me in half; and the list goes on and on.

So yes, deprivation ended the day of surgery for me, because food is just food - nourishment for the body to function healthily (is that a word??) - it shouldn't control us - it shouldn't make us feel better or worse about ourselves - its an inanimate object that we need to survive. And if the thought that I can't have something pops into my head because its either too sweet or fatty and I even think I'm going to feel sorry for myself I make myself think back to when I really felt sorry for myself for not being able to live like a normal person and do normal things and wear normal clothing....