Disappointment & Ashamed
So I haven't been to the doctor in months due to not having insurance, well I went today and I am so disgusted and ashamed of myself...I GAINED 20 lbs. I am horribly disgusting. I just want to crawl into a ball...maybe I am not meant to ever be thin or look good. I am so ashamed of how I let myself go. I lost 220 lbs and now I am gaining!!! Maybe I need another surgery!! 
Don't beat yourself up, it happens. But now is the time to recommit yourself to what you know works. Get back on the plan, maybe do the 5 day pouch test, google it and follow the plan, participate in support, heaven knows in this part of the world there are plenty of support groups to attend and if you can't make it to a group, then post here daily to keep yourself accountable.
Wishing you a better day!
Laureen
Wishing you a better day!
Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
You gained 20 pounds.
You did NOT gain 220 pounds.
There are plenty here who have gained after their initial weight loss. Life happens.
What you need, in my opinion, is not another surgery, but to start using your tool again.
Start back at the basics. Log EVERYTHING; water, protein, fat
Eat protein first, fruits/veggies second, carbs last. It's "easy" to say all those things, not so easy to follow through with them. I certainly understand that.
Do not allow this doctors visit to make you feel MORE miserable or start what I call one of my "pitty party" days/weeks/months. Instead, use it to realize where you have gone astray and find your way back to the path.
Use all support resources available, this being one of them!
Pam
You did NOT gain 220 pounds.
There are plenty here who have gained after their initial weight loss. Life happens.
What you need, in my opinion, is not another surgery, but to start using your tool again.
Start back at the basics. Log EVERYTHING; water, protein, fat
Eat protein first, fruits/veggies second, carbs last. It's "easy" to say all those things, not so easy to follow through with them. I certainly understand that.
Do not allow this doctors visit to make you feel MORE miserable or start what I call one of my "pitty party" days/weeks/months. Instead, use it to realize where you have gone astray and find your way back to the path.
Use all support resources available, this being one of them!
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
I agree with the other ladies - use this as motivation and get back on track! You did it once you can do it again! 220 pounds lost is an AMAZING accomplishment!! You didn't get there without a lot of hard work and you can get those 20 pounds back off with some hard work too!
I post a daily "sticking to the basics" thread where we share our menu's for the day - if it helps you star posting there - there is also a daily exercise thread - post there too
Here's to losing those last 20 pounds!
I post a daily "sticking to the basics" thread where we share our menu's for the day - if it helps you star posting there - there is also a daily exercise thread - post there too
Here's to losing those last 20 pounds!
Pam (as usual) is right on the money with her response. OK, so you've gained 20 pounds. As you well know from successfully losing two HUNDRED and twenty pounds, you CAN lose the 20. You're still down 200 pounds (WOW) from where you started.
You now know where you stand and what your next tasks are. No one is "meant" to be thin (OR fat)... barring unusual genetic ailments, people have control AND responsibility... which means that you've done a great job of A. getting to the doc and B. posting an accountability here. Now take step 3, which is to figure out what you're going to do about it ... start/restart exercising and get back on plan with your food intake through journaling, support, etc.
Let's be clear on terminology, though. YOU are not "disgusting." Your illness (food addiction) makes you see yourself through that lens, which is likely a big part of how you got there in the first place. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of equating your weight with your value as a person! Look around you tomorrow when you're out in public and let yourself notice how many perfectly normal people are carrying aroudn an extra 20, 30 or 40 pounds. Do you judge them as being disgusting people for doing so? No? Then don't apply that label to yourself.
And one other point of terminology. You are (hopefully) NOT GAINING. You HAVE GAINED. Big difference. The second one implies that the damage has been done, has stopped, and will now be reversed. The first one implies that this is only the beginning of a trend.
Positive thinking, positive terminology, positive action. You've already proven you can do it - just get yourself into the positive frame of mind that will help you realize that you're within a reachable goal! You can do this!
Hope this helps!
Karen
You now know where you stand and what your next tasks are. No one is "meant" to be thin (OR fat)... barring unusual genetic ailments, people have control AND responsibility... which means that you've done a great job of A. getting to the doc and B. posting an accountability here. Now take step 3, which is to figure out what you're going to do about it ... start/restart exercising and get back on plan with your food intake through journaling, support, etc.
Let's be clear on terminology, though. YOU are not "disgusting." Your illness (food addiction) makes you see yourself through that lens, which is likely a big part of how you got there in the first place. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of equating your weight with your value as a person! Look around you tomorrow when you're out in public and let yourself notice how many perfectly normal people are carrying aroudn an extra 20, 30 or 40 pounds. Do you judge them as being disgusting people for doing so? No? Then don't apply that label to yourself.
And one other point of terminology. You are (hopefully) NOT GAINING. You HAVE GAINED. Big difference. The second one implies that the damage has been done, has stopped, and will now be reversed. The first one implies that this is only the beginning of a trend.
Positive thinking, positive terminology, positive action. You've already proven you can do it - just get yourself into the positive frame of mind that will help you realize that you're within a reachable goal! You can do this!
Hope this helps!
Karen
WOW thank you so much for taking time to write that...it was very inspirational. I am going to even print it out and carry it with me for when I need some refocus!!! I have decided that I will definatley go to the Sat meeting, I need it. I may not talk and just sit and observe but I think that it will help. Again thank you so much!!
Wow - bummer!
Yes, there is one every first saturday of the month (unless that falls on a holiday). There is also a post-surg group on the 3rd Wednesday night of each month from 7 - 9 PM.
And I'd encourage you to come out to Liz's cooking class/support group, which is a Saturday usually around the 2nd or 3rd week of the month... she always posts it to this board and it's a great group and very supportive. She's just outside of Easton.
Karen
Yes, there is one every first saturday of the month (unless that falls on a holiday). There is also a post-surg group on the 3rd Wednesday night of each month from 7 - 9 PM.
And I'd encourage you to come out to Liz's cooking class/support group, which is a Saturday usually around the 2nd or 3rd week of the month... she always posts it to this board and it's a great group and very supportive. She's just outside of Easton.
Karen
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