Where I've been
I know I posted I had some family issues going on...and still sort of do. Even though the "crisis" situation has been "abadated" - mentally I'm still not all there quite yet.
I found out on Tuesday my brother (yes, the one who went zip lining with us) had a "bad day" on Tuesday..needed stitches (17 of them) in his hand in order to close some wounds that were self inflicted due to an anger rage and a mirror that caught the brute end of it. There was also a microwave, garbage can, and dishwasher that needed some repair in the aftermath of the event....
He has a long psych history - most of which has been untreated due to his lack of follow up. Most of the times the lack of follow up was due to drug use. Drug of choice was heroin...but you name it, he used it.
He had ended up in rehab about 2 years ago...thought he had been clean since then, but come to find out he had been using up till about 9 1/2 mos ago, "here and there" as he put it. Swears he's been clean for the past 9 1/2 mos and although my brother is a genius, a fabulous liar, and very manipulative...I absolutely believe that statement.
When he had his anger outburst on Tuesday, he apparantly overdosed on prescription medication klonopin (similar class to that of xanax only works a little different and is used for more than just "anxiety"), and attempted to get at a bottle of tylenol PM but his girlfriend and my other brother were able to "restrain him" until my mom could get there. They spent the day (Tuesday) in the ER.
There's a lot more to this story....the fact that they took him to the ER where I used to work full time and now work per diem and in my eyes the docs/nurses totally "dropped the ball". Basically the fact that he took 20 tabs of a medication and attempted to take other meds was totally ignored. He did not receive psychiatric care there and was released after the stitches.
I've been struggling psychologically/emotionally with all of this since I found on on Saturday. He's currently without meds (because he took them all on Tuesday) his mood has been unstable...and he hasn't made follow up appointments etc. Of course no one can MAKE him make a follow up appointment...and unless he makes a threat towards his life or we can PROVE he's unstable to make any decisions (which, since Tuesday, we cannot) we can't force him into a psychiatric eval (there are laws allowing forced entry into a psychiatric facility...but there is criteria that needs to be met)
In the meantime...I've had to maintain my job...when really all I want to do is be in jersey watching him...which is just not a real expectation. I've been mentally pretty pre occupied with everything.
Sooooo.....that's a very short version of a very long saga. Good news...I have off today and tomorrow which I think I really need....and I have a phone call set up for this evening with a good friend who deals with psychiatric issues to help me understand my feelings and what my role should and can be in this. I also have the *potential* of having off Thursday....and already have scheduled off on Friday/Saturday so there's a real possibility of 5 days off in a row to get my head together and to feel like I can spend some time on "me" which is what I really need right now.
I will post regarding Schnib and Hailey as I find them out...but am otherwise kind of keeping to myself right now.
Love you all!
Pam
I found out on Tuesday my brother (yes, the one who went zip lining with us) had a "bad day" on Tuesday..needed stitches (17 of them) in his hand in order to close some wounds that were self inflicted due to an anger rage and a mirror that caught the brute end of it. There was also a microwave, garbage can, and dishwasher that needed some repair in the aftermath of the event....
He has a long psych history - most of which has been untreated due to his lack of follow up. Most of the times the lack of follow up was due to drug use. Drug of choice was heroin...but you name it, he used it.
He had ended up in rehab about 2 years ago...thought he had been clean since then, but come to find out he had been using up till about 9 1/2 mos ago, "here and there" as he put it. Swears he's been clean for the past 9 1/2 mos and although my brother is a genius, a fabulous liar, and very manipulative...I absolutely believe that statement.
When he had his anger outburst on Tuesday, he apparantly overdosed on prescription medication klonopin (similar class to that of xanax only works a little different and is used for more than just "anxiety"), and attempted to get at a bottle of tylenol PM but his girlfriend and my other brother were able to "restrain him" until my mom could get there. They spent the day (Tuesday) in the ER.
There's a lot more to this story....the fact that they took him to the ER where I used to work full time and now work per diem and in my eyes the docs/nurses totally "dropped the ball". Basically the fact that he took 20 tabs of a medication and attempted to take other meds was totally ignored. He did not receive psychiatric care there and was released after the stitches.
I've been struggling psychologically/emotionally with all of this since I found on on Saturday. He's currently without meds (because he took them all on Tuesday) his mood has been unstable...and he hasn't made follow up appointments etc. Of course no one can MAKE him make a follow up appointment...and unless he makes a threat towards his life or we can PROVE he's unstable to make any decisions (which, since Tuesday, we cannot) we can't force him into a psychiatric eval (there are laws allowing forced entry into a psychiatric facility...but there is criteria that needs to be met)
In the meantime...I've had to maintain my job...when really all I want to do is be in jersey watching him...which is just not a real expectation. I've been mentally pretty pre occupied with everything.
Sooooo.....that's a very short version of a very long saga. Good news...I have off today and tomorrow which I think I really need....and I have a phone call set up for this evening with a good friend who deals with psychiatric issues to help me understand my feelings and what my role should and can be in this. I also have the *potential* of having off Thursday....and already have scheduled off on Friday/Saturday so there's a real possibility of 5 days off in a row to get my head together and to feel like I can spend some time on "me" which is what I really need right now.
I will post regarding Schnib and Hailey as I find them out...but am otherwise kind of keeping to myself right now.
Love you all!
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
Pam
So sorry to hear about your brother and his inability to follow-through which is typical of addict behavior and most addicts become so to cover an underlying "mental" illness which they are self-medicating for, but then again, you being a well schooled nurse, probably are already aware of it. The medical profession, as a whole, though sees situations like you describe as hopeless and just figure "once an addict, always. . ." I'll keep your family in my prayers.
L
So sorry to hear about your brother and his inability to follow-through which is typical of addict behavior and most addicts become so to cover an underlying "mental" illness which they are self-medicating for, but then again, you being a well schooled nurse, probably are already aware of it. The medical profession, as a whole, though sees situations like you describe as hopeless and just figure "once an addict, always. . ." I'll keep your family in my prayers.
L
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
So sorry Pam! I hope things work out. My dad was an alcoholic/drug user psych patient. Geesh! It's no picnic. If they could only know the hell they cause their family. But . . . I am here to tell you there is hope. My dad has been sober for 30 years. Has infrequent bouts with depression and anxiety, but it's managable.
Bonnie
HW 248.9;SW 221; CW 138.7
HW 248.9;SW 221; CW 138.7
Oh Pam, I'm so sorry you and the family are dealing with this. Somehow, I had a feeling this was along the lines of what was happening, but was hoping it was not.
Hopefully, you can get the next few days to be there for him and for your mom to help you all get through this.
We are here for you. You know how to reach me if you need me.
Hopefully, you can get the next few days to be there for him and for your mom to help you all get through this.
We are here for you. You know how to reach me if you need me.
My tracker
hers 
Take the time off and use it regain your mental health - we all need it from time to time (God knows I have). Life is always going to throw us curve balls - I guess how we handle it is the important part. And you know this better than anybody but I will say it anyway - take care of yourself thru all this - I know I wasn't as diligent with my food program and exercise (okay, that was NON-existant) when dealing with my mom's latest situation, and I paid for it by getting sick once all the hooplah died down. So try to maintain your good diet and eating if nothing else because you're the one who will pay the price for that. Thank goodness our bodies are very forgiving and as soon as I started eating right again (with some exercise altho still not as much as I should) my body bounced back and felt 100% better.
Many prayers and hugs coming your way and your family's...its a difficult time and you know we're all here if or when you need us.
Take care...Kathy
Many prayers and hugs coming your way and your family's...its a difficult time and you know we're all here if or when you need us.
Take care...Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
Thoughts and prayers are with you, Brian and your family. I have certainly lived it and been there with my son so I know how drained you must be feeling. If there is anything any of us can do you know we would love the opportunity to return some of the love, care, concern and compassion (and butt kicks when needed) that you shower on all of us.
k
P.S. I PMd you.
k
P.S. I PMd you.
regards, keri 
Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain. --Author Uknown
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