Okay not doing so good these days..
#1. The language and obsessive angry CAPS LOCK screaming is NOT appreciated, nor is it tolerated here on the PA board. Take it somewhere else.
#2. People have tried to reach out to you, offer you support to the point that it's tiring, and you not only don't take their advice, but you put them down. again... not appreciated, nor tolerated here on this board.
#3. We're not speaking out of our behinds... ALL of us have gone through the surgery, and either are where you are, or have been where you are. Maybe you should suck up your pride, and trucker-mouth, and actually listen, and appreciate what people who have gone through EXACTLY what you're going through are trying to advise you to do.
#4. Do NOT ask for support if you don't want the truth. There's no hand holding here... we'll help you through whatever you need, but sometimes the truth hurts.
If you can't see yourself doing any of the above 4 things, you should probably find another source of support, because not only have you embarrassed yourself, but I'm pretty sure you have exausted the AMAZING support you could have found on this board if you didn't put people who know what they're talking about are saying. I'm actually embarrassed for you...
Suck it up girlfriend, apologize for the extremely childish behavior or move it on out.
#2. People have tried to reach out to you, offer you support to the point that it's tiring, and you not only don't take their advice, but you put them down. again... not appreciated, nor tolerated here on this board.
#3. We're not speaking out of our behinds... ALL of us have gone through the surgery, and either are where you are, or have been where you are. Maybe you should suck up your pride, and trucker-mouth, and actually listen, and appreciate what people who have gone through EXACTLY what you're going through are trying to advise you to do.
#4. Do NOT ask for support if you don't want the truth. There's no hand holding here... we'll help you through whatever you need, but sometimes the truth hurts.
If you can't see yourself doing any of the above 4 things, you should probably find another source of support, because not only have you embarrassed yourself, but I'm pretty sure you have exausted the AMAZING support you could have found on this board if you didn't put people who know what they're talking about are saying. I'm actually embarrassed for you...
Suck it up girlfriend, apologize for the extremely childish behavior or move it on out.
Success is a journey... not a destination! 
A friend of mine told me to look at the posts tonight and I am shocked. Not at everyone else, but at you, Dee. I don't judge you, I feel very very sorry that someone in your life, somewhere along the way before your abusive "hubby(s)" must have done something tragically horrible to you to make you this angry, and make you have such a terrible self-image.
I hope that you will seek PROFESSIONAL help, and damn the cost. Looks like this is a very caring, kind, supportive group of people who tried to care about you but you seem to have behaved in a fashion that pushed many of them away. Still, I think you are hiding your fears and insecurities behind a facade of toughness and flippant remarks; acting like you don't give a crap about yourself one moment and then crying out for help the next.
Please, please, seek help. I would also suggest that if you can't accept help without complaining, come back to the board when you have decided that you can be civil and mature.
I'm sure everyone wishes you luck.
I hope that you will seek PROFESSIONAL help, and damn the cost. Looks like this is a very caring, kind, supportive group of people who tried to care about you but you seem to have behaved in a fashion that pushed many of them away. Still, I think you are hiding your fears and insecurities behind a facade of toughness and flippant remarks; acting like you don't give a crap about yourself one moment and then crying out for help the next.
Please, please, seek help. I would also suggest that if you can't accept help without complaining, come back to the board when you have decided that you can be civil and mature.
I'm sure everyone wishes you luck.
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