Okay not doing so good these days..
I have not been keeping track of my foods as for writing them down and seeing where i am at with the protein I just guess. I do not keep track of my water intake either I mean I do in my head but as I know I have no idea what it is at the end of the day. I guess that is what I get for not having a normal schedule. I do not have a set schedule because I do not work or do anything bu****ch kids at home right now. I am always on the go hanging out with friends and going to see my family and I dont take anything with me usually excep****er. so i find myself going hours without eating because I do not even know what to take on the go with me. Everythign I eat needs to be refrigerated and I do not have a cooler neither do I want to buy one. So I try to make sure I have water with me at all times tho no matter what. I am not taking my Pruvate because they are so huge and nasty tasting..thats an iron pill..However I do take a multivit with iron in it twice a day. So I am praying that is good enough. As far as I know I feel fine and have not gotten sick yet. I have noticed that I can tolerate everything I put in my mouth which is not good at all. I must be doing something right because I am down 62lbs since my surgery. Me and hubby are fighting like always over stupid ****some stuff I cannot stand and I think hes the reason i am not doing what I need to do because he makes me feel like **** As I am losing weight you would think he would compliment me except he says babe your boobs are getting flat!!! LIke what? And then he says hopefully they dont get to small because Ill leave you if they do because I like big boobs and big gurls. ****** up I think that he said that to me. I figured this WLS would make me feel happy and wanted more.and all its doing is making me more miserable and my husband to say ****** up **** to me.
Dee,
It's rough having such negative "support" from the person who is closest to you. But he's in effect telling you to choose between YOU (your health, your future) and him. And guess what... you HAVE a choice. You can buy into his crap, or you can choose not to buy into it. Seems to me that's the decision point you're at right now. If you choose yourself (and I think you deserve to choose yourself, by the way) then you need to come to terms with what that means - getting yourself on track, body, mind and spirit, to succeed at life (not just at losing weight). It's HIS baggage that doesn't want you to lose weight, and frankly you don't need to carry his baggage for him. It makes me so angry when people try to put that crap onto their partners...
Yes, the surgical tool will help you lose weight for a period of time. But it won't prevent you from gaining it back if you don't address the things that got you there, including low self-esteem (WHY would you stay with someone who talks to you like this and treats you like this?).
Once again, you sound like you're finding excuses to fail... excuses to let yourself off the hook for not creating solutions for yourself, because you really don't want to face what's going on with hubby and with self esteem.
For example, NOT everything you eat needs to be refrigerated! use a little creativity - and a reusable ice-pack (I re-freeze my ice pack every day, put it in my little insulated lunch bag and that handles it for me - no extra expense or fuss). You can use protein bars for meal replacement - easy to toss into your purse in case you're out longer than expected. And there's a HUGE number of them out there, so don't give "i don't like the taste" as an excuse! (I like the Carb Supreme protein bars in choc pb and brownie - both are great). A fresh piece of fruit doesn't have to be refrigerated - toss a peach or a nectarine or an apple into your purse and go... a low-carb tortilla with some lo-sugar peanut butter (simpy jif) is a tasty meal. if you're out an near a convenience store, get a few slices of roast beef and a slice of low-fat cheese, roll them up and eat them - a cheap, protein-rich, tasty meal. No excuses.
You CAN find the strength to do this. You have to learn to love YOU and to treat yourself with the respect you deserve... and to be strong enough to insist on that respect from those around you. If you're not getting it from him, find a therapist or a support group in your area - OA, OH, WLS, AA, whatever! The key is to find support and tap into it, in as many ways as you can... online is great but can only go so far.
HUGS, girl - you can do this!
Karen
It's rough having such negative "support" from the person who is closest to you. But he's in effect telling you to choose between YOU (your health, your future) and him. And guess what... you HAVE a choice. You can buy into his crap, or you can choose not to buy into it. Seems to me that's the decision point you're at right now. If you choose yourself (and I think you deserve to choose yourself, by the way) then you need to come to terms with what that means - getting yourself on track, body, mind and spirit, to succeed at life (not just at losing weight). It's HIS baggage that doesn't want you to lose weight, and frankly you don't need to carry his baggage for him. It makes me so angry when people try to put that crap onto their partners...
Yes, the surgical tool will help you lose weight for a period of time. But it won't prevent you from gaining it back if you don't address the things that got you there, including low self-esteem (WHY would you stay with someone who talks to you like this and treats you like this?).
Once again, you sound like you're finding excuses to fail... excuses to let yourself off the hook for not creating solutions for yourself, because you really don't want to face what's going on with hubby and with self esteem.
For example, NOT everything you eat needs to be refrigerated! use a little creativity - and a reusable ice-pack (I re-freeze my ice pack every day, put it in my little insulated lunch bag and that handles it for me - no extra expense or fuss). You can use protein bars for meal replacement - easy to toss into your purse in case you're out longer than expected. And there's a HUGE number of them out there, so don't give "i don't like the taste" as an excuse! (I like the Carb Supreme protein bars in choc pb and brownie - both are great). A fresh piece of fruit doesn't have to be refrigerated - toss a peach or a nectarine or an apple into your purse and go... a low-carb tortilla with some lo-sugar peanut butter (simpy jif) is a tasty meal. if you're out an near a convenience store, get a few slices of roast beef and a slice of low-fat cheese, roll them up and eat them - a cheap, protein-rich, tasty meal. No excuses.
You CAN find the strength to do this. You have to learn to love YOU and to treat yourself with the respect you deserve... and to be strong enough to insist on that respect from those around you. If you're not getting it from him, find a therapist or a support group in your area - OA, OH, WLS, AA, whatever! The key is to find support and tap into it, in as many ways as you can... online is great but can only go so far.
HUGS, girl - you can do this!
Karen
Thanks so much for your kind words Karen. Your right I do have a choice on what to do for me. I know I have low self-esteem issues and I am working on that. I am looking for a support group in my area long with a cooking class and I am praying that things get in order for me. I have everything I need to do what I have to do...it is just that I feel that it is to much to do. I guess I am plain out Lazy when it comes to certain things. Granted I do lots of stuff but for some reason my health and myself was not something that I always did. This is a learning experience for me and something I have to work at.
Dee,
I'm so glad you wrote back - I was afraid I'd been too blunt and offended you.
I completely understand how overwhelming it can feel to think about how much there is to do. That's a great reason for breaking it down into simple "what can i do today" (or even "what can i do in the next hour") segments... taking it a day, hour, minute at a time.
It's not that you're lazy - don't use negative labels on yourself. I always say that there's enough people out there willing to bash you for something or other -- don't become one of them!
It's like exercise for me - when i first started, i was walking really slowly, short distance, and was still huffing and puffing. The thought of "running a mile" wasn't even fathomable, and never had been in my experience. I focused, very simply, on walking just a little bit farther or just a tiny bit faster each day... or even just swinging my arms more when I walked. As time went on, I focused on setting itty bitty goals (jogging just to the next driveway), then eventually a couple more feet beyond that, then maybe just to the next driveway down... nothing too overwhelming or scary.
It's taken me 4 months, but I can now do 2 - 3 miles in the morning, still walking parts of it, but running parts of it too. I hope that in another 2 months, i'll be running even more of it, and doing 3 miles consistently.
But that's a metaphor for tackling this overwhelming life change that we're all embarked on... just focus on getting to the next driveway, at the best pace you can manage on that day. Keep at it, and you'll make tremendous strides before you're even aware of it. Making a list of the big goals is great, but can be really daunting -- try just a daily list of the itty bitty things you think you can tackle, then check them off as you do them. Be realistic and be kind to yourself, but also don't let yourself make excuses and slack off... push yourself as hard as you can on those little goals, which will ultimately build up the resources you need to achieve the bigger goals.
Hugs...
Karen
I'm so glad you wrote back - I was afraid I'd been too blunt and offended you.
I completely understand how overwhelming it can feel to think about how much there is to do. That's a great reason for breaking it down into simple "what can i do today" (or even "what can i do in the next hour") segments... taking it a day, hour, minute at a time.
It's not that you're lazy - don't use negative labels on yourself. I always say that there's enough people out there willing to bash you for something or other -- don't become one of them!
It's like exercise for me - when i first started, i was walking really slowly, short distance, and was still huffing and puffing. The thought of "running a mile" wasn't even fathomable, and never had been in my experience. I focused, very simply, on walking just a little bit farther or just a tiny bit faster each day... or even just swinging my arms more when I walked. As time went on, I focused on setting itty bitty goals (jogging just to the next driveway), then eventually a couple more feet beyond that, then maybe just to the next driveway down... nothing too overwhelming or scary.
It's taken me 4 months, but I can now do 2 - 3 miles in the morning, still walking parts of it, but running parts of it too. I hope that in another 2 months, i'll be running even more of it, and doing 3 miles consistently.
But that's a metaphor for tackling this overwhelming life change that we're all embarked on... just focus on getting to the next driveway, at the best pace you can manage on that day. Keep at it, and you'll make tremendous strides before you're even aware of it. Making a list of the big goals is great, but can be really daunting -- try just a daily list of the itty bitty things you think you can tackle, then check them off as you do them. Be realistic and be kind to yourself, but also don't let yourself make excuses and slack off... push yourself as hard as you can on those little goals, which will ultimately build up the resources you need to achieve the bigger goals.
Hugs...
Karen
Sorry you are having problems. Sometimes we just hit walls. But you seem to be starting a dangerous trend: Not tracking, going hours without eating, not having a schedule. etc. For m e, looking good is a really nice product of WLS, but not the goal. Yes we want to lose weight, but we want to be healthy too, right?
WLS alone will not make you happy because your weight is just a symptom of deeper problems. So even if the weight comes off, the problems still remain if we don't work on them.
I DESPISE schedules and tracking my meals and liquids. And I am on the go alot too. But I decided if I was going to be successfull I had to change the behaviors that got me into trouble in the first place. You can buy a small, cooler type lunch box that fits water, cheese, almonds, sandwiches and still be on the go. It's really no biggy anymore. I still have to force myself to track everything I put in my mouth, but I'm getting used to it.
Have you thought about talking with a professional? And definitely tell your husband that his jokes aren't funny and he's hurting you.
I really wish you the best but please don't just pray things go well. Two years down the road you could be in big trouble nutritionally
WLS alone will not make you happy because your weight is just a symptom of deeper problems. So even if the weight comes off, the problems still remain if we don't work on them.
I DESPISE schedules and tracking my meals and liquids. And I am on the go alot too. But I decided if I was going to be successfull I had to change the behaviors that got me into trouble in the first place. You can buy a small, cooler type lunch box that fits water, cheese, almonds, sandwiches and still be on the go. It's really no biggy anymore. I still have to force myself to track everything I put in my mouth, but I'm getting used to it.
Have you thought about talking with a professional? And definitely tell your husband that his jokes aren't funny and he's hurting you.
I really wish you the best but please don't just pray things go well. Two years down the road you could be in big trouble nutritionally
Bonnie
HW 248.9;SW 221; CW 138.7
HW 248.9;SW 221; CW 138.7
ok well first I want to give you a hug! then I want to say congrats for losing 62lbs already. thats really great!
It seems though that you know what you have to do, log the food, protein and water intake. It doesn't take too long. Just carry a little notepad with you. You really should stay on top of that. (I should start staying on top of it a little more myself! lol)
As for the husband, he reminds me a lot of the guys I see around here. The guys my sisters have put up with for the last 10-15 years are just like that. THey'll do anything to see you fail. Why would he say something like that? He's probably insecure himself! Just ignore what he says, let it roll off your back. And ya know what? If he feels the need to leave because of your new physical appearance, then he's really shallow and you deserve better than that. Don't let him keep down talking you when you are doing the right thing. Was he a big **** talker before the surgery? Either way I feel for you. I see my mother deal with this from my father, my brother does the same stuff to his girl, and my sisters are in verrrrrrrrrrry unhealthy relationships.
Just don't let him bring you down. Keep doing what your doing to better yourself and don't listen to his idiotic insignificant remarks. You ARE beautiful and you ARE doing a wonderful thing for yourself. As long as you know that is true, then his opinion doesn't even matter.
Good luck and if you need to talk I'm here.
It seems though that you know what you have to do, log the food, protein and water intake. It doesn't take too long. Just carry a little notepad with you. You really should stay on top of that. (I should start staying on top of it a little more myself! lol)
As for the husband, he reminds me a lot of the guys I see around here. The guys my sisters have put up with for the last 10-15 years are just like that. THey'll do anything to see you fail. Why would he say something like that? He's probably insecure himself! Just ignore what he says, let it roll off your back. And ya know what? If he feels the need to leave because of your new physical appearance, then he's really shallow and you deserve better than that. Don't let him keep down talking you when you are doing the right thing. Was he a big **** talker before the surgery? Either way I feel for you. I see my mother deal with this from my father, my brother does the same stuff to his girl, and my sisters are in verrrrrrrrrrry unhealthy relationships.
Just don't let him bring you down. Keep doing what your doing to better yourself and don't listen to his idiotic insignificant remarks. You ARE beautiful and you ARE doing a wonderful thing for yourself. As long as you know that is true, then his opinion doesn't even matter.
Good luck and if you need to talk I'm here.
*~*RacheL*~*
"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past."
"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past."
Hey thanks so much Rachel. I see we had our surgery the same day! Congrats and how are you feeling? Thanks so much for the reply. Yeah I do try to ignore and I know it does hurt and I tell him that too. And yes he was a big **** talker before surgery. He is a man..but I do have a choice if I want to put up with his crap and well he knows how I am feeling lately and he knows I keep sayign I will leave him and he doesnt even care. He says okay dont let the door hit ya on the way out. but in all honesty what freaking man is not like that? I do not think that there is a man out there that is not going to be a jerk..no one is perfect and omg I am not even perfect. I had an unhealthy relationship I left before in the past. I had a husband who beat the crap out of me everyday for 4 years. I thought I found me a good man until we have been married for one year and together for 2 and he is starting to show me his true colors.
Dee - You need to put yourself and your health first. PERIOD.
You made a MAJOR decision to go through with this surgery, and I know that didn't come easily for you and you almost backed out at the last minute. You owe it to yourself, and Dr P to follow the rules. She will not coddle you when you go back - she will tell you like it is. You NEED to take your iron and your vitamins, You NEED to track your protein and fluids every day - but especially early on. There are a ton of easy to pack snacks that are high in protein. The grocery store sells pudding cups that don't need to be refrigerated, there is beef jerkey. Get yourself a small insulated lunch box - they are about $5 and an ice pack about $2. OR freeze a water bottle. You can now pack yogurt, cheese sticks, celery with peanut butter, apples and peanut putter (no need to keep cool), cut up bits of cheese, chicken breast, steak, lunchmeat rolled up with veggies or cheese etc.
IF you are home and babysitting it should be easy to get into a schedule. Sleep at certain times, get up at a certain time, do your daily activities, make a healthy dinner, and do your exercises.
I hope that you can take the steps necessary to make all this work out for you!
I am sorry if this seems harsh but you know the rules (you stated that you aren't following them) and I don't want to see you end up in a bad place - you deserve to have your tool work and to be successing!
You made a MAJOR decision to go through with this surgery, and I know that didn't come easily for you and you almost backed out at the last minute. You owe it to yourself, and Dr P to follow the rules. She will not coddle you when you go back - she will tell you like it is. You NEED to take your iron and your vitamins, You NEED to track your protein and fluids every day - but especially early on. There are a ton of easy to pack snacks that are high in protein. The grocery store sells pudding cups that don't need to be refrigerated, there is beef jerkey. Get yourself a small insulated lunch box - they are about $5 and an ice pack about $2. OR freeze a water bottle. You can now pack yogurt, cheese sticks, celery with peanut butter, apples and peanut putter (no need to keep cool), cut up bits of cheese, chicken breast, steak, lunchmeat rolled up with veggies or cheese etc.
IF you are home and babysitting it should be easy to get into a schedule. Sleep at certain times, get up at a certain time, do your daily activities, make a healthy dinner, and do your exercises.
I hope that you can take the steps necessary to make all this work out for you!
I am sorry if this seems harsh but you know the rules (you stated that you aren't following them) and I don't want to see you end up in a bad place - you deserve to have your tool work and to be successing!
Thanks Liz for you advice and encourageing words. Your right I do need to do what is best for me period. The iron pills I do not take because I am out of them and it costs a lot of money for them and I do not have insurance anymore. I do however take my vitamins daily that have iron in them already. Its just sometimes I forget to take my vitamins at night because I go to bed and not think of it. The morning vitamins I take as soon as I get up. yeah I am thinking about getting a lunch box like that and taking things with me when I go places. I know I should be on a schedule cause I am home but my hours change all the time. I go to bed either at 10pm at night or 4am in the morning it depends on when i woke up that day. I do not sleep very good as it is. I have insomnia really bad. And for some reason it has only gotten worse since surgery. I wake up feeling like I have not even gone to bed because my mind is racing on what i ate that day and what Im going to eat the next day and if I am going to get it all in or not and if I am going to get all my fluids in or not. I am a complusive thinker LOL. I hate it. Especially at nighta nd I had a therapist tell me to write things down that is on my mind before I go to bed all that does it make me think even more about it. NOt earse it out of my mind.
Do you have your 3 month check up appt. scheduled with Dr. P?
What do you think she will tell you about these behavioral patterns?
A couple of weeks ago, you received much advice about seeking some professional support for emotional issues and low energy. Now it sounds as if you are on the go a great deal, but not following basic directions from your surgeon.
Also, here you say that you have "not gotten sick yet," but in your next post, you talk about feeling sick every time you eat. It is hard to know what to say when you contradict yourself this way. You also say here that you can "tolerate everything I put in my mouth". Perhaps this is one reason you feel sick. You may, in fact, not be tolerating certain foods very well at all.
The Barix dietitian will want to see food logs for at least a few days, so I recommend that you log what you are eating and drinking, starting on Monday.
Dr. P. advised me that the side effects of not taking vitamins are not apparent until serious nutritional deficits have caused damage to body systems. At that point it can be too late to repair, such as neurological damage or calcium deficiencies.
What do you think she will tell you about these behavioral patterns?
A couple of weeks ago, you received much advice about seeking some professional support for emotional issues and low energy. Now it sounds as if you are on the go a great deal, but not following basic directions from your surgeon.
Also, here you say that you have "not gotten sick yet," but in your next post, you talk about feeling sick every time you eat. It is hard to know what to say when you contradict yourself this way. You also say here that you can "tolerate everything I put in my mouth". Perhaps this is one reason you feel sick. You may, in fact, not be tolerating certain foods very well at all.
The Barix dietitian will want to see food logs for at least a few days, so I recommend that you log what you are eating and drinking, starting on Monday.
Dr. P. advised me that the side effects of not taking vitamins are not apparent until serious nutritional deficits have caused damage to body systems. At that point it can be too late to repair, such as neurological damage or calcium deficiencies.
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