Are you judgemental now?

I have never been a person to judge on looks or tastes.  I have friends who are devout Christians and friends who have tattoos and piercings from head to toe.  I have skinny minnie friends, big friends and everyone in between.  So- WHY - when I see a really large person now, having problems walking or breathing and generally looking miserable is my first thought "how can you live like that"  I think because I have been through SO MUCH with this surgery but I know it Can be done maybe I think this.  I feel bad.  I feel like I need to become Some kind of advocate to help people who need to have the surgery but do not know how to even start.  But, at the same time I cannot start saying something to somoene who may not want to change.  I feel bad to myself for thinking ill of other people.  I never did this before.  

Also- while I am on the subject.  When did you FEEL different?  I Know my clothes are big on me, everyone tells me I look different, my hubby told me today when I was laying down that I was "flat"  LOL  I Want to be flatter LOL  I don't "feel"  different though...am I supposed to??

I TOTALLY understand what you are feeling!  I was in Israel with a very large woman this summer and I was actually angry with her because she couldn't do stuff due to her weight - It was completely irrational - and besides writing this now, the only person I told this to was my hubby.  Then I look at friends who want to have this surgery because they think I am doing so well, which I feel I am, and I think in my head - honey - you have no idea - when in reality - it couldn't hurt and they do have issues just like the rest of us!  I have a friend who is having RNY on September 2 at Abington Hospital.  When she first told me I was surprised, not thinking that she was qualified, turns out, it is as wonderful for her and her family as it was for me and my family.

I don't know why I feel this way either - I hope that some of the "older" people can tell us if it gets better, or if it changes, or if we are just CRAZY...Well...I am crazy - but maybe not on this is my hope! :)

As for feeling different, it just hit me about two weeks ago - the first time I was able to put a size 18 on my body and wear a regular size XL shirt from a regular store - not a plus size store.  I just knew that I HAD to take pictures - and while I don't necessarily recognize the thinner version of myself in the pictures, I do feel lighter - I walk differently, I take more pride in how I look each day and I seem to smile more.  I am almost 5 months out.  I also have the added benefit of having been out of work for the summer and am looking forward to getting back to the classroom where the faculty and students know that I have had the surgery and can't wait to see what I look like.

But here's the latest thing for me - I am actually getting a bit annoyed when people are saying to me, wow - you look terrific.  My response is, Thank you, I feel so healthy!  I guess I am annoyed that people only see my physical appearance - which is of course what they can see - but I Want them toknow that there was much more to this journey than my looking better.  Again, totally irrational! 

And now I have babbled on and on and have no idea if this helped you or not, but in any event, thanks for giving me an outlet to say this stuff! :)

This bugged me before and after surgery... don't tell me how much you hate yourself/life/your weight etc... while stuffing your face full of stuff that made you heavy lol... it would be one thing if they were trying etc... but drives me nuts when I hear others go ohhh i am sooo fat while eating a chocolate chip cookie... makes me want to ram it down their throat lol...

but what realllllllly drives me nuts/****** me off is when someone is only 20 or so pounds over weight and they ask me about gastric bypass to loose those 20 pounds... OMG put the cookie down and hit the gym... and yes I did tell that person that... because they did ask me while eating a COOKIE... stupid people argh...

The other thing that ticks me off... is when someone is over weight and ask about the surgery and you know they would do well with it BUT when they find out basically no more sugar or high fatty items they bulk from the idea... come on... those are the things that helped us get to that point... makes me wanna smack their heads into the wall and make them wake up and see the truth...

But then again... I tried really hard for years to loose weight on my own... went to the gym, saw nuts, etc... and nothing worked because of my PCOS... yes I sat and whined about but then I got off my butt and went back to work to get healthy...

SO in a way I do judge... but if someone asks me about the surgery I don't sugar coat it... not one bit... it isn't easy... it can be very hard... you have to make changes... some people are ready for that others aren't... but I have 3 friends that need this surgery but I know right now they won't do it because sugar and fat is just tooo important in their lives... so until they can cut the food misstress out of their lives there is nothing I can do...

Someone told me "I can't go without my soda"  So she won't consider the surgery. 

I was talking more about people I don't know though..I just look at them now and am slightly disgusted they don't want to help themselves.  But, feel bad about it.  I am just a nut case.  But, I never had the need to do physcial harm to them like the pregnant and tense Ms Shannon is! 

preggo or not those people drive me nuts... you can ask Jeremy lol...

If someone can't give up soda... yeah I would would wanna smack them too... dorks... lol... sorry rather give up sugar and soda so I'm not 6 feet buried in the ground lol...

but with the people I don't know... I want to hand them a flyer to barix... I really do... some people I have met have had their heads so filled with lies about the truth that I just want to educate them...

But, when it comes to stupid people I just want to smack them all... they frustrate me soooo much, and life it just too short to have them mucking it all up for me and others lol... I have 2 people at work I would like to smash in the head with a shovel because they are sooooooooo stupid... and so help me god if they touch my blinds on monday I will do it... why people gotta be touching my stuff lol... but that is a completely different beast lol...

I am actually sitting her laughing!!!!!  If they touch your damned blinds, call me - I each middle school in Philly - I can take them - and Iwill scare the **** out of them!!!!!!!!!

it is the stupid CFO and dorky daughter who is MARRIED and hitting on my single brother-in-law... and it is like 3rd grade flirting... omg it is soooooo bad... makes me want to puke daily!  ANd they both keep saying they need "sunlight"... omg you aren't plants... and your desks are NO WHERE NEAR MINE... lol... Sandy and Liz get all kinds of crazy emails about these dorks... I have also never met anyone soooo heartless as this family... and they say they are proud to be from the mid-west... yet they act like they have ice cubes for hearts unless you suck up... and well I don't... I just sit and day dream about when I win the lotto... I will buy the company and then demote them and harass them daily... aka sit them by the big windows with the blinds up all the way with heat lamps on them and heaters and have some honey and fire ants on hand if they back talk me... ok I think I spent to much time thinking about this... but they messed with them on Friday... every time I walked away from my desk they were up... ARGH!!!!!!!!!  I need to hook electric current up to them... the fried hair would really show us which one touched them last mahahahahaha!

Hi, you said a mouth full lol.  It is interesting.  I am  Christian and I am very shy when it comes to sharing how awesome God is.  You know what???  I am also very shy when it comes to sharing my new life after wls.  I see so many who could and would benefit from this but I get all funny inside and it's so strange. 

Feeling different.  Hmmmm,  that's a toughy.  I feel happier, less burdened with obese issues and the pain and humiliation associated with it.  I think I am more sympathetic towards others with obesity issues.  I would think that is how I feel differently.

I am fairly new on the losers bench, and I find myself noticing people who could benefit from WLS more than I did before.

Perhaps it's a shift away from the way I used to scan a room to see if I was the fattest woman there. Oftentimes I was.

Now, I look for obese women and notice what they are eating, or try to figure out how much they weigh. The other night DH and I were out at a restaurant. I was picking chicken out of his fajita, and out of the corner of my eye noticing a woman who was literally shoveling food in - dressed attractively, but well over 100# overweight...maybe 200.

Was that judgemental? I didn't mean to be. It's obsessive, perhaps, but my thoughts about here were not negative, just how much she would benefit from changing her life.

For me its not so much judgemental as it is knowing now that we don't have to live with being morbidly obese - that WLS is a wonderful option for those of us who have tried everything else and failed. But I also know that each of us has to be ready and determined to have the surgery and follow through with what it takes to make it work, and nobody else can tell us when that time is right - we have to figure it out for ourselves.

Over the years I had several doctors talk to me about the possibility of having the surgery - and each time I walked away indignant that how dare they think I needed that type of surgery - I wasn't 'that' overweight - and in reality the only person I was fooling was myself. It took a picture of me to make me finally realize that yes, I was that obese and after spending years and thousands of dollars on failed weight loss plans that this was my last and final resort - but I had to reach that decision myself - and for those people you see now who are extremely obese they will also have to make that decision for themselves.

Thats why I never hesitate to talk to someone who ASKS me about my weight loss and how it happened - I was so misinformed over the years about WLS and I beileve thats why it took me so long to finally come to the decision that it was healthier having the surgery than not.

So don't think of it as being judgemental - I doubt you really are - for me its that it was the best decision of my life and I know if I could make it work than so could many others.