OT: Been gone way to long...
Hello everyone!! I have been gone way to long. I had my interent shut off again. Well now it is back on and well I have not been doing the greatest these few weeks I have not been online. I have a hard time keeping track of what I eat and what time I eat it and all of that. I did have a day where I only ate twice! Bad..but I was depressed
because of things going on around here. Hubby and I dropped our medical insurance to get more money.
I dropped my online courses and now not in college.
I am so lost at this point do not even know what to do. I have not weighed myself in 3 weeks either so I have no idea how much I weigh. 
I did not make it to any of my follow-up appts yet either.
I live 3 hours away from the surgeons place and it is expensive to travel down there when everything else is not in place either. 
I have not been taking my pepcid for 2 weeks now because it costs 40 bucks for 30 pills now. However, I seem fine without them. I am not on any other meds just lots of vitamins which I buy online at cheap prices and a big quanitity so I have some for awhile. I have tons of WoW moments...I am down to a size 22 right now in pants and the tops I really do not know because I still wear my big ones. I have not did any measuring yet from the first time. I know the last time I checked I lost 47lbs so far. Clothes are getting big on me, rings on my hands are rolling around my fingers now, I can see my wrist bones, tons of compliments that I look good, and deep down inside I still think I am fat..cause I do not see the change in myself. That was 3 weeks ago. I also have a hard time getting all the fluids in and I have no idea why. I just hate water and the fruity taste is just getting old and I find myself keeping busy and not having a water with me and before ya know it the day is gone. 
I am sick of eating the same old crap too. I went shopping today and bought some fish and shrimp to start eating instead of chicken all the time. Now that internet is back i am going to try and get myself back on track and try to keep track of my stuff from now on. Things are crazy lately and I have a wisedom tooth that is really bothersome and well I need to get it pulled and that is gonna be some cash right there. UUuggghhhh...idk what to think anymore or to do. I needed to vent so much and well I am ready for anything that anyone has to stay or help me with please. What can I drink besides water? and crystal light and special k? I do not drink milk by itself because I have not even got up the nerve to try it yet. Could I just drink milk all day if I tolerated it? What about juicy juice or something? I see ppl have in their menus that they eat two different things at one sitting how are you eating that? What are your portions? Like I am at a 1/2 to a 1/4 depending on what it is and what if I want two things just measure 1/4 each and thats it? Prolly right? 
Hang in there.... things do have a way working out... We've put ourselves on a budget, too... and here are some things I am doing......
home brewed decaf tea......my favorite (various flavors)
koolaid made with splenda/equal
12 ounce water with 1/4 c cranberry juice
Regarding the rings.... I wrapped my rings with yarn insead of buying the ring guards or getting the rings adjusted at jewelers. (saves $$) (Please do this... cause my engagement ring was lost in the cat litter box for a day! -- yuk-o!)
home brewed decaf tea......my favorite (various flavors)
koolaid made with splenda/equal
12 ounce water with 1/4 c cranberry juice
Regarding the rings.... I wrapped my rings with yarn insead of buying the ring guards or getting the rings adjusted at jewelers. (saves $$) (Please do this... cause my engagement ring was lost in the cat litter box for a day! -- yuk-o!)
oh Dee, wish I could take away all your worries . . . eggs are cheap and good source of protein. can you tolerate them? Also cottage cheese pancakes. I buy and cook my own shrimp. I get the 26-30 size when it's on sale at Redners, Acme, Shop Rite --- usually 2 lbs for $10. I'm 11 months out and that makes 5 meals for me --- about 10-12 shrimp per meal. I make a batch on Monday then eat it everyday for lunch --- I love shrimp. I bet you can get more portions than that since you are not as far out. Early out I had to cut them in thirds so I didn't get stuck. In thirds I could chew enough to make them mush to swallow. I use regular ****tail sauce I make myself with ketchup and horseradish ---- I use it sparingly. Tuna isn't too expensive either. I make it with 1/2 light mayo and 1/2 greek yogurt --- very tasty.
Dee,
OK - a little love and some tough love, too, here. (sorry, it's long)
First, the surgery will only work for you long-term if YOU work IT. That means doing what you already know you need to do and getting back on track. You've got an awesome tool here (and an awesome support system that you can tap into at Barix and here and elsewhere) BUT... it has to be YOU that actively engages those tools... and the good news is that you've started that process with your post today.
You're a smart woman. You know what needs to happen. So ask yourself what is keeping you from doing it, and address those issues. Trust me, money is NOT the sole issue here. It doesn't cost money to write down what you're eating, walk, and drink water (or keep track of what you're drinking). Not doing those things is a sign that you're sabotaging yourself actively and/or passively.
You said that you're depressed, and it sounds like it from your post. GET HELP. Get to an OA meeting (or an AA meeting if there are no OA meetings near you). Get to a support group meeting for WLS in your area (I KNOW there are some... just have to look for them, call any bariatric surgeon's office near you, call any hospital near you). Those are all FREE and will help you tap into a community that can provide person-to-person support in addition to online support. They may also be able to point you to other resources in your community. Support can make a huge difference in your success. There are exchanges for clothing (which can also help tremendously with self-esteem issues), people who can work with you on all kinds of issues, friends who can keep you honest by being a walking buddy... or a sponsor relationship you can call when you're unsure about what to eat or having trouble with cravings.... and just to not feel like you're doing this alone.
Pepcid is available as a generic called Famotidine, which is actually pretty cheap. You can find it at big-box stores and other pharmacies in the generic form in 20mg and just take two of them (I assume you're on the 40mg dose as that's what Dr. P usually does). PEPCID IS CRITICAL for the first 3 months at least, as it can prevent ulcers from forming. If you've dropped med insurance, then you REALLY don't want an ulcer to form - consider taking your pepcid to be a little bit of health insurance. Perhaps there would be an assistance program through your doctor (or through Dr. P) that could help you get it free or for a reduced cost.
LIQUIDS will also keep you healthy in a lot of ways. Some ideas to make it more palatable (change it up for variety)... Add a slice of lemon. Add a couple of slices of cucumber and refrigerate overnight... Add some mint leaves... Use 4C 2Go packets (kinda like crystal light, in a wide range of flavors including green tea, iced tea with peach, lemonade, etc.) They come in variety packs so you can figure out what flavors you like best. ... Nonfat milk is ok, but i wouldn't drink it ALL day... BROTH is liquid (chicken, veggie, beef, pork, turkey, fish... you can make your own, even, from combos of all of the above). Decaf tea. Jello. ALL THAT COUNTS TOWARD YOUR DAILY 64oz. Beware of juicy juice (check the sugar content)... and I know Dr. P recommends a 50/50 cut of juice and water for quite a while.
There is no excuse for eating the "same old crap"... it's just the depression speaking and keeping you from having the energy to get creative. Plan a bit ahead and have a bunch of different things that you can combine. for example, at the beginning of the week, have some cut-up fruit in the fridge, and a cut-up chicken breast, and some greek yogurt, and some cucumbers. You can make a fruit sauce for the chicken one day. Use the yogurt and cukes and chicken to make chicken salad. Eat the fruit as a snack. Eat the cucumbers with a little yogurt and onion powder as a snack. Not much expense, but a little thought can give you a ton of variety. And check out www.bariatriceating.com for ideas, too... some great meal plans and recipes over there.
Yes, when i have a few things in a meal, i just make sure that the portions don't exceed my capacity... like 1/4 cup of chicken salad with 1/4 cup of cucumbers and yogurt and 1/4 cup of grapes, which is about where I am right now (but I'm also further out than you are).
You've made it through the prep and the surgery. You've invested time, money, blood, and a lot of hard work to get where you are so far. DON'T WASTE ALL THAT. You know you're worth this investment! And you are now in the process of discovering the new you that you can create - but that new you will never emerge from the cocoon until you get your THINKING into the right place.
You can do this! I know you can!
HUGS!!!
Karen
OK - a little love and some tough love, too, here. (sorry, it's long)
First, the surgery will only work for you long-term if YOU work IT. That means doing what you already know you need to do and getting back on track. You've got an awesome tool here (and an awesome support system that you can tap into at Barix and here and elsewhere) BUT... it has to be YOU that actively engages those tools... and the good news is that you've started that process with your post today.
You're a smart woman. You know what needs to happen. So ask yourself what is keeping you from doing it, and address those issues. Trust me, money is NOT the sole issue here. It doesn't cost money to write down what you're eating, walk, and drink water (or keep track of what you're drinking). Not doing those things is a sign that you're sabotaging yourself actively and/or passively.
You said that you're depressed, and it sounds like it from your post. GET HELP. Get to an OA meeting (or an AA meeting if there are no OA meetings near you). Get to a support group meeting for WLS in your area (I KNOW there are some... just have to look for them, call any bariatric surgeon's office near you, call any hospital near you). Those are all FREE and will help you tap into a community that can provide person-to-person support in addition to online support. They may also be able to point you to other resources in your community. Support can make a huge difference in your success. There are exchanges for clothing (which can also help tremendously with self-esteem issues), people who can work with you on all kinds of issues, friends who can keep you honest by being a walking buddy... or a sponsor relationship you can call when you're unsure about what to eat or having trouble with cravings.... and just to not feel like you're doing this alone.
Pepcid is available as a generic called Famotidine, which is actually pretty cheap. You can find it at big-box stores and other pharmacies in the generic form in 20mg and just take two of them (I assume you're on the 40mg dose as that's what Dr. P usually does). PEPCID IS CRITICAL for the first 3 months at least, as it can prevent ulcers from forming. If you've dropped med insurance, then you REALLY don't want an ulcer to form - consider taking your pepcid to be a little bit of health insurance. Perhaps there would be an assistance program through your doctor (or through Dr. P) that could help you get it free or for a reduced cost.
LIQUIDS will also keep you healthy in a lot of ways. Some ideas to make it more palatable (change it up for variety)... Add a slice of lemon. Add a couple of slices of cucumber and refrigerate overnight... Add some mint leaves... Use 4C 2Go packets (kinda like crystal light, in a wide range of flavors including green tea, iced tea with peach, lemonade, etc.) They come in variety packs so you can figure out what flavors you like best. ... Nonfat milk is ok, but i wouldn't drink it ALL day... BROTH is liquid (chicken, veggie, beef, pork, turkey, fish... you can make your own, even, from combos of all of the above). Decaf tea. Jello. ALL THAT COUNTS TOWARD YOUR DAILY 64oz. Beware of juicy juice (check the sugar content)... and I know Dr. P recommends a 50/50 cut of juice and water for quite a while.
There is no excuse for eating the "same old crap"... it's just the depression speaking and keeping you from having the energy to get creative. Plan a bit ahead and have a bunch of different things that you can combine. for example, at the beginning of the week, have some cut-up fruit in the fridge, and a cut-up chicken breast, and some greek yogurt, and some cucumbers. You can make a fruit sauce for the chicken one day. Use the yogurt and cukes and chicken to make chicken salad. Eat the fruit as a snack. Eat the cucumbers with a little yogurt and onion powder as a snack. Not much expense, but a little thought can give you a ton of variety. And check out www.bariatriceating.com for ideas, too... some great meal plans and recipes over there.
Yes, when i have a few things in a meal, i just make sure that the portions don't exceed my capacity... like 1/4 cup of chicken salad with 1/4 cup of cucumbers and yogurt and 1/4 cup of grapes, which is about where I am right now (but I'm also further out than you are).
You've made it through the prep and the surgery. You've invested time, money, blood, and a lot of hard work to get where you are so far. DON'T WASTE ALL THAT. You know you're worth this investment! And you are now in the process of discovering the new you that you can create - but that new you will never emerge from the cocoon until you get your THINKING into the right place.
You can do this! I know you can!
HUGS!!!
Karen
I agree with you Karen. When I went through Barix, they required a psych evaluation before submitting my insurance for approval. Do they still do that? If not, I think they should re-start. I'm not trying to be mean, but we as patients make this commitment to OURSELVES to make a life change. I know when I was considering this, I did all the research imaginable to get myself acquainted with what was coming and the aftermath. Dee, you did this for YOU, and now, honestly, YOU are being negligent and non-compliant with your doctor's orders. We are here to support you and help you, but you must help yourself as well. Karen gave you a lot of good ideas as far as getting some support outside of OH, and with food choices. Just because Dr. P is 3 hours in distance, she's just a phone call away. Call her! Barix has nutritionists available to answer your questions whenever you call. There are options. You don't want to make yourself sick. Let me remind you, eventhough I'm sure I don't have to, that you are not the same physically inside anymore. Your system is altered and it's up to you to keep your new self healthy. Good luck.
Money is a huge stressor for me, too, so I can understand that you're feeling down and crazy and don't know where to turn or look.
Take it one day at a time. You really do need to go to your follow-up appointments. Yes, gas is expensive and I know it because I drive 100 miles one way to go see my surgeon but I figure it's better to spend the money on gas and go than not do as well with my tool (especially since the tool cost SO MUCH more than gas does!).
"Fine for now" is a statement we hear a lot around message boards. But what about tomorrow, next week, or next month? Consider the long-term ramifications.
I have a hard time drinking just plain water. I've taken to mixing up a pitcher of a drink mix (generic crystal lite is so inexpensive) and drinking that. I drink skim milk and have had NO problems whatsoever with dairy. - If you haven't tried it, try a little on a day when you're home and have no plans to go anywhere. That way, if something DOES happen you're at home to deal with it. Besides, "issues" may only last 20 minutes.
For meals I estimate I eat anywhere from 1/2c to 3/4c. I eat mostly protein and "snack" on prunes as a dessert. It helps with the constipation and gets some fiber into my body.
Take it one day at a time. You really do need to go to your follow-up appointments. Yes, gas is expensive and I know it because I drive 100 miles one way to go see my surgeon but I figure it's better to spend the money on gas and go than not do as well with my tool (especially since the tool cost SO MUCH more than gas does!).
"Fine for now" is a statement we hear a lot around message boards. But what about tomorrow, next week, or next month? Consider the long-term ramifications.
I have a hard time drinking just plain water. I've taken to mixing up a pitcher of a drink mix (generic crystal lite is so inexpensive) and drinking that. I drink skim milk and have had NO problems whatsoever with dairy. - If you haven't tried it, try a little on a day when you're home and have no plans to go anywhere. That way, if something DOES happen you're at home to deal with it. Besides, "issues" may only last 20 minutes.
For meals I estimate I eat anywhere from 1/2c to 3/4c. I eat mostly protein and "snack" on prunes as a dessert. It helps with the constipation and gets some fiber into my body.
Started research @ 280 pounds
Surgery Date 05/27/09 @ 258 pounds
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