NEED ALL THE SHOULDERS I CAN GET
Hi all.
It's been a couple rough weeks for me.....My husband and I decided to separate, I moved out of the house and got an apartment and last night he shared with me that he wants to start dating.
I actually thought we still had a chance after giving each other space. I really had a tough time this weekend and yesterday I was so emotional at work I took a Zanax.
How do you get through all the sadness and get your life back after separation for someone that you have been with over 30 years?
Thanks,
Dianna
It's been a couple rough weeks for me.....My husband and I decided to separate, I moved out of the house and got an apartment and last night he shared with me that he wants to start dating.
I actually thought we still had a chance after giving each other space. I really had a tough time this weekend and yesterday I was so emotional at work I took a Zanax.
How do you get through all the sadness and get your life back after separation for someone that you have been with over 30 years?
Thanks,
Dianna
Dianna,
It is so hard, I know. My husband left 9 years ago after 17 years of marraige and I was in complete shock. Just know, its really rough now but it does get better. Take a day at a time (or an hour if need be). I too used an occassional zanax to help me from a complete breakdown. Just be careful not to get dependent but for those really bad times, take them. It helps to numb yourself a little. You will get through this and be better/stronger for it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Sending good vibes your way.
Lisa
It is so hard, I know. My husband left 9 years ago after 17 years of marraige and I was in complete shock. Just know, its really rough now but it does get better. Take a day at a time (or an hour if need be). I too used an occassional zanax to help me from a complete breakdown. Just be careful not to get dependent but for those really bad times, take them. It helps to numb yourself a little. You will get through this and be better/stronger for it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Sending good vibes your way.
Lisa
Dianna,
A few years back, I saw the end of a 25 year marriage to a man I'd known most of my life. I never ever thought that I would walk that path.
The answer to your question...how do you get through the sadness...is...
Very slowly.
Robert Frost wrote that "the only way out is through," and you will have to go through some stuff to get to the other side of this.
Look for small things each day that bring you even a moment of happiness. Write down those things. I still have my journal of those little things that I did. Some were kind of cool - going to a jazz concert all by myself and not worrying about whether he was liking the music. Some were very small - looking at my neighbors roses in bloom. Cooking for my kids.
Let yourself feel your feelings. You deserve to do that. Don't try to quash them or cover them.
Do you have close friends to confide in? If so, think of them as "listeners" but also as sources of good things in your life.
Give it time. Does he want to divorce? Do you? Do either of you know yet?
Take good care, Lynn
A few years back, I saw the end of a 25 year marriage to a man I'd known most of my life. I never ever thought that I would walk that path.
The answer to your question...how do you get through the sadness...is...
Very slowly.
Robert Frost wrote that "the only way out is through," and you will have to go through some stuff to get to the other side of this.
Look for small things each day that bring you even a moment of happiness. Write down those things. I still have my journal of those little things that I did. Some were kind of cool - going to a jazz concert all by myself and not worrying about whether he was liking the music. Some were very small - looking at my neighbors roses in bloom. Cooking for my kids.
Let yourself feel your feelings. You deserve to do that. Don't try to quash them or cover them.
Do you have close friends to confide in? If so, think of them as "listeners" but also as sources of good things in your life.
Give it time. Does he want to divorce? Do you? Do either of you know yet?
Take good care, Lynn
Dianna,
You get through it an hour at a time and believe that there is support for you here and wherever else you need to find it, just not in a bottle or a pill form for too long a time ;) Many people go through such things and it stinks, but who knows what your future holds, some of the greatest things in life come out of periods we think of as being insurmountable.
Your name says want2behappy2, in time you will be.
Sending you cyber hugs and good wishes and of course I will keep you in my prayer and positive thoughts, Laureen
You get through it an hour at a time and believe that there is support for you here and wherever else you need to find it, just not in a bottle or a pill form for too long a time ;) Many people go through such things and it stinks, but who knows what your future holds, some of the greatest things in life come out of periods we think of as being insurmountable.
Your name says want2behappy2, in time you will be.
Sending you cyber hugs and good wishes and of course I will keep you in my prayer and positive thoughts, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Having not really walked down the path you are on right now, I can't give first hand advice.
What I can say is what everyone else has mentioned is true...with anything you need to take it one minute at a time if needed.
I like the idea of the journal with just the little happy things, even if it was for a moment. It is probably a very good tool in a very dark place.
Hugs,
Pam
What I can say is what everyone else has mentioned is true...with anything you need to take it one minute at a time if needed.
I like the idea of the journal with just the little happy things, even if it was for a moment. It is probably a very good tool in a very dark place.
Hugs,
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
Dianna,
This is a difficult time, but take time for yourself. Each day do something good for yourself (take a bubble bath etc). Lean on family and friends to help you out and listen to you. Try to get out and do things, it is lonely to be home by yourself. When my husband left, it was the only time that I lost 20 lbs in a month. I did sit at home by myself, and it was the worst thing I did. Is there something that you always wanted to do, and didn't because he wouldn't be interested in it, try it now. As has been already said, the only way to get over it is to move thru it. If you need someone to talk to you can pm me. Keep posting here, there are all kinds of good support here.
Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers
hugs,Ena
This is a difficult time, but take time for yourself. Each day do something good for yourself (take a bubble bath etc). Lean on family and friends to help you out and listen to you. Try to get out and do things, it is lonely to be home by yourself. When my husband left, it was the only time that I lost 20 lbs in a month. I did sit at home by myself, and it was the worst thing I did. Is there something that you always wanted to do, and didn't because he wouldn't be interested in it, try it now. As has been already said, the only way to get over it is to move thru it. If you need someone to talk to you can pm me. Keep posting here, there are all kinds of good support here.
Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers
hugs,Ena "Journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."
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