Well now...

That was very well said Mike...excellent response!!

Thanks brother,

Dennis

very well put mike i concur

I have been on the boards for over three years now and living in western PA, I have often felt sad because you all have such a wonderful support network over in the eastern part of the state - and I am a little jealous :)

A true network, a family so to speak, is not without its drama, pain, disfunction, but I think its so great that people are able to be honest with each other - honesty isn't always easy, but it's necessary for continued growth and to assure real and meaningful relationships.   

I don't know the story, dont care to know that story, and dont want to know the story, but I do want to thank Mike for his continued honesty.  I know there was once or twice that you really helped me (although you might not remember) because of your willingness to be candid.  
Just my thoughts,
Lou
 

I didn't read the apology thread and I don't want to, but I do have a comment.

if you wanted to apologize to people that you hurt in the past, why wouldn't you do it personally instead of on a public board?

I did do it in pm's in the past, but that didn't work.  Then Dennis suggested I do it the way I did to get it out in the open.  Dennis has handed out quite a bit of good advice over the years, but after seeing what this whole thing turned into, I'm afraid this wasn't one of his better ideas.  The funny part is he sends me a pm giving me this advice and then decides to block me.  It's ironic since I've never, ever done a thing to him.  In fact I've always made it perfectly clear how much I looked up to him.  Oh well, I'll live.  People can block me all they want here, but there's nothing they can do if I decide to show up at a support group meeting.  They're open to ALL Barix patients.  And, since I've made the commitment to a lifetime of good health, I need support just like everybody else.  Should make for some interesting meetings.

andy  I have not said anything as of yet but I do want to say this. sometimes we break things and they cannot be fixed. If you are truly remorseful and care for those that were harmed, then it does not make sense to me why you would want to show up at a meeting where you know it will be uncomfortable for them?
If you indeed need support, there are MANY other support groups around the area,,that are open to all who want to attend, barix is not the only one. There are many many online forums where you can get help other than the PA board where you can indeed get a fresh start. so to me, if you really wanted to apologize you did.....if you really want support....go get it.  Just not here,because you broke it. It happens, now move on.

Hi Nicole,
I understand what you're saying, but there is something that you and some others don't understand here.  Although I very much want to see EVERYBODY succeed in their journies, there is only one person that I have an invested interest in - ME!!!  Nobody else is going to look out for me, so I have to.  I'd love to have the best of both worlds where I can look out for everybody else and they can return the favor.  That doesn't seem to be possible right now, although there are a quite a few that haven't commented on any of the posts in this that have been very supportive to me via email and pm's.  For that, I thank them very much.

Yes Nicole, I do need support.  And you mention that there are MANY other support groups around the area.  No, there's not.  The only ones in MY area are Phoenixville - which Heather attends, so that won't work - and the one Debbie McKinley-Hastings used to hold at her house, which I'm not sure if she still does or not.  Please don't give me Temple or Reading or some other one that I don't know anybody at.  I'm not going to start all over with a bunch of people I don't know - especially being 3 1/2 years out.  No Nicole, my surgery was done at Barix and that is my support group.  Just because there are some there that refuse to accept my heart felt apologies after numerous attempts, that doesn't mean they're going to keep me away.  The kiddy games have started and a few people have decided to block me thinking they now don't have to deal with me any longer.  Wrong!!!  We could've resolved this like grownups, but now we're going to have to deal with this in person at the next meeting.  Because I WILL BE THERE!!!  And its not to prove a point, but because I need support. 

I don't have a flipping clue what the hell is going on. I've never met you, or anyone else on this board for that matter. But....I always have something to say.

I am 5 years out next month. So I know what it's like to be far out and need to get ahold of things. But.....that does NOT mean you HAVE to go to a support meeting. I do not go to support group meetings. Never have. You are obsessing about getting to this meeting no matter what. And honestly, you don't have to go.

There ARE many ways to get support without going to a meeting that you admittingly know you are not "welcome" at. I don't get why you are so adamant about going. You are going to turn a support group meeting into a Circus act and will be causing drama there with innocent people who don't even know what the heck is going on. I can't imagine showing up as a pre-op, scared, concerned and full of questions.....just to have some sort of "face-to face" confrontations going on amongst others. Not a very good impression of people, the group or the facility.

Have some respect.

Hi Jo,

Just so you know, the purpose of me going to the meetings is for the sake of my health, not to have any face to face confrontations.  That's not what I'm all about.  All I'm saying is that some of the group decided to play the childish "Lets all block Andy" game and that's something they won't be able to do IRL at the meetings.

As for you saying that I don't have to go to support group meetings, I highly disagree.  I ran the Barix Chadds Ford support group clinic for quite a while and one thing I learned was that those that were regular attendees had the greater success.  In fact, studies have shown that over the course of time, those that have regularly attending support group meetings have had - by far - the greater success long term.

The other thing is that the people that have showed their disapproval towards me are not the only ones involved.  Like I've said several times, I have received a lot of support via emails and pm's here.  These are from people that regularly attend the Barix meetings and they have said they'd welcome me back to the meetings with open arms.  So, I'm not going to stay away from Barix just because a few people think they can keep me away.  Like I said, it would've been easier for Dennis - their leader - to at least give me a phone call and talk about things like adults instead of telling me to start an apology post and then block me after I do so.