Well now...

It was weird....and creepy...

I am not used to such BS on our board...I like our little "family" drama free!!!!

Hopefully it is done and over with it!!!

Much luv!!
Laura

Well it looks like I picked a good day to NOT be on the boards.....cause I don't have a clue as to what we are talking about - and like Laura - I like the idea of our cute little family without (to much) drama

I read it.
On vacation this week .....lots of reading time..... and not totally motivated to jump on the "Hunny Do" list.  I don't wanna comment on any of it. Wasn't here ........ not my business.  I just kept thinking ....... glad that isn't me. lol

I agree it was creepy and weird and most likely against some sort of domestic laws somewhere in the universe. All I can say is I will never get those 10 minutes of my life back, and for that, I'm pissed

I'll make this short and sweet and then you guys can have at it.  First and foremost, I want to thank the numerous individuals that were so kind to send me supportive pm's over the past couple of days.  You guys truly understand things and for that, I will be forever grateful.  It's amazing how many people realize that everybody does deserve a second chance.

For those that have unfortunately read my thread and looked at it as some sort of bs, that's fine.  I knew I'd get that reaction out of some of you.  All I can say is that I'm glad I posted it because I am now at peace with myself.  For those of you that claim to believe in, and worship, the Lord and trust in the bible, you will realize the importance of foregiveness in our lives.  I admitted to doing some things that I'm not very proud of, so I don't understand where some of you can joke around at my expense with the bs comments.  If that's how you choose to live your life, then that's your decision.  I'm glad I have it in me to forgive people and to give them a second chance.

One thing I do realize now after reading my pm's is that there are quite a few people on here and at Barix that would welcome me back with open arms.  After sleeping on it and thinking about it some more while on the treadmill at the gym today, I think I know what the right thing is to do.  I am no longer going to let other people tell me when and where I am welcome or not welcome.  I made a lifetime commitment to my health and that includes support groups.  So, for those of you that think you've seen the last of me at these meetings, I'm sorry.  My health means too much to me.  It's not my fault you choose to not allow me back into your lives.  Nobody can keep me out of these support groups.  Honestly, I think it would be a lot easier for us to work this out instead of making for a very uncomfortable situation for everyone involved at the Barix meetings.  Again, I screwed up, apologized several times and many of you have decided to think I'm full of crap.  That's your right.  It's also my right to live my life and that's what I've decided to do.  Sorry it has to be the way it is, I really am.  Take care and God bless all.

I don't know you from a hole in the wall, but what I don't understand is why all the melodrama around it? If you want to go to Barix support meetings then go. But to show up here and share some very personal stuff that is between you and those individuals you decided to name is the only BS I've noticed. I've been a "regular" here for over a year now and have never noticed any of those people bring up your name. So the only person here making an issue of it is you.

move on.

Melanie, I don't know you from a hole in the wall either.  With that being said, you don't know any of what has happened in the past.  It was an attempt on my behalf to make peace with those that I have done wrong in the past.  It was suggested I do this by the one person who is looked up to most on this board, Dennis.  As for the Barix meetings, you're right.  I do want to go and, starting this month, I am going to start going again.  I was just making an attempt to clear the situation up before re-emerging at the meetings.  I was a regular at the meetings for about three years, including leading the Chadds Ford group and filling in for Dennis at Langhorne on occasion.  I didn't want the meetings to turn into a potential circus if I went, thus the attempt to straighten things out ahead of time.  Since a large number have chosen to either ignore me or make snide(sp) remarks, I have a feeling it will make for some very uncomfortable meetings. 

Andy, I never had a beef with you... but your actions did hurt a number of people that I consider very close friends.  It was for that reason that I chose to cut you off and, quite frankly, after hearing many of the ridiculous details of your actions, I'm really glad I did. 

That being said, I was also one of the people that reached out to Dennis and asked him to offer his guidance and advice to you when you contacted me several months ago to try to explain yourself and your actions so that you could eventually return to our support group meetings.  Based on your original post yesterday, it seems that Dennis has made himself available to you on multiple occasions to try to help you work through your issues and find the right path.  For that, you should be thankful.  Instead, in your very first paragraph, you chose to lay your apology at his door, saying that you didn't think it was a good idea but, in a roundabout way, Dennis made you do it.  THAT is why everyone is saying that you are full of BS.  

The biggest step in issuing a sincere, heartfelt apology is ACCOUNTABILITY.  Not only do you have to be accountable for your actions, but you also have to be accountable for the consequences of your actions AND the kickback that could potentially occur as a result of your apology.  You have shown none of that.  You weren't even accountable for your own apology.  You blamed Dennis for YOUR apology.  Then, for every action that you attempted to take the blame for, you had an accompanying excuse, not a reason, but an excuse why things went wrong.  The problem I have with the whole thing is... how can so many bad things happen around one person without that person looking in the mirror and just saying, WTF... I need to get my act together?  You may have eventually done that, but look at the damage that you left in your wake.

From one WLS patient to another, I sincerely hope that you can find a way to reclaim control over  your body and your lifestyle so that the surgery does not become a wasted effort.  On a personal level, my advice is to really, seriously get your sh*t together before you make another attempt at an apology or return to the support group meetings or the ramifications are going to be even worse.

Excellent insite and advice, Mike

Hey Mike,
First, let me say I appreciate you taking time to break things down.  I really mean that.  It's a well thought out analysis on the situation and very acurate as well.  Listen, I need to say a couple things here.  Just because an apology on a website doesn't come off as sounding sincere doesn't make it any less so.  It's the reason why I've asked Dennis on several occasions whether a little get together among those that I either hurt or have been a part of the so called clique.  It's a lot easier to see the sincerity in someone face to face.  I'm afraid until that happens, people are going to continue to doubt me.

Another thing Mike, as for my first paragraph in my original apology thread and the putting the onus on Dennis, that's because I knew - without a question - that it would turn out the way it did.  There are people on this site - a lot of them in fact - that weren't even around here when I was a regular contributor to both this board and the Barix meetings.  I knew they'd have no idea what I was talking about.  Just look on this thread that you started and see what I mean.  By starting my original thread, I was inviting a lot of people that, really, I wasn't talking to in the first place - without trying to sound like a smart ass.

Mike, I do have control over my body, I just make some bad food choices and I am back on track with my exercise.  The reason for my apology was two fold.  One, the people I hurt deserved it and, two, I needed to do it to try to come to peace with as many of them as possible because I know I need the lifetime of support for this whole wls thing so I can continue successing.  I'm no longer going to stay away from the meetings just because some people happen to think it's a bad idea.  I had apologies to make and I made them.  Obviously, none of the people I've hurt are willing to foregive me.  I just hope and pray that none of them ever do or say something that they dearly regret and then expect people to give them a second chance.  My Lord Mike, we all only get one shot at this life.  I'll be damned if I'm going to live mine filled with hatred towards any one individual - unless they do bodily harm to a loved one.  Anything short of that would get a second shot in my book.  But I can't make people like me or do the same for me.  My life won't end because of this.  Like they say, "life goes on".  Take care Mike and, again, thanks for your well thought out post.